Red Cedar
More apocalypse, less angst
Post #1987: It may be spring in Vancouver…….
This is the lake that our cabin sits across the road from – I took this photo at the forest service rec site down the road, two weekends ago when we were up there last. It’s still quite cold at night (Brian and I nearly froze in our unheated, unfinished cabin) – but as far as I can tell from the community web cam, the ice is pretty much off the lake now. We’re thinking of going up on the long weekend, mostly because Mica’s never seen the place and we’ve got the time to do so, but I’m not sure whether we’ll stay there or in town where we can get heat! I am impatient for the last snow and ice to melt and for the work season to start again – we are so close to having a functional cabin – this season of work will surely get us there.
The process of building something from the beginning is both amazing and overwhelming, especially if you don’t really have a contractor (we have had the basic building contracted, but trades are on us and also we’ll be doing the finishing work over the next few years). On the one hand, there’s a lot to be done! On the other, you get to make all the choices as you go and you aren’t stuck with someone else’s corner-cutting (in the land of cabins, there is a lot of hokey building going on). I really look forward to being at the stage where we can build in furniture and start to cozy the place up – I’ve already started making afghans and quilts to use once we are spending real time up there (and we have heat).
I do find it much easier to come to ground when I look at lists of what has to be done, rather than just standing in a cold, half-finished building and wondering what next, and how long is that going to take? (And on that note, as soon as we can get the technician in, I’m getting Internet installed – so when I need to Google work processes and procedures, I can do so, rather than driving down the road to the Fire Hall/Community Centre). The whole process is really making me wish that I knew how to build stuff and wasn’t afraid to get on ladders – but it also feels right to support folks in the local economy and it’s amazing to see transformations each time we arrive after a stint of building.
Despite the ice and snow on our last trip, this was the first time I walked all the way around the lake – although it’s only a 3 km walk, we are usually so focused on working when we are up there that I don’t get out and enjoy the area as much as I would like. I’ve decided that from now on, if it’s the least I do – each time I go I’ll make this walk happen – it’s quick and satisfying, and I love seeing it from all the different angles.
Post #1986: Hold the lettuce, I’m on a diet.
I’ve been eating a lot of salads-in-jars lately. Awesome ones – with good protein like chicken/beans/cheese, fresh veggies, a little dressing. No lettuce – I think lettuce is a big waste of time and I’ve determined that one does not need lettuce in order to make a salad – but pretty much everything else that’s healthy and good in salad goes into my jars. The one pictured to the left is comprised of olive oil/balsamic vinegar, chicken breast, chick peas, feta cheese, green onion, grape tomato, yellow bell pepper, and cucumber – tip it upside down into a bowl and voila! Lunch without a fuss – the most convenient lunch for the office, ever.
But the real reason I’ve been on this salad kick lately isn’t convenience – but the fact that (as alluded to yesterday) I am making yet another weight loss attempt because I have grown increasingly unhappy with my fitness level and worried about my future health. Also, although I’m not the heaviest I have ever been – I’m uncomfortably close to it which means that my clothing is uncomfortable and I’ve got half a dozen cute frocks in my cupboard that do not fit at all!
I could go on about why this has happened, when I was otherwise fit only a few short years ago, but really it’s the same old story – I put on weight easily, I’ve been largely sedentary the past couple of years, and while I eat relatively well (healthy food and all that), like everyone, I can be indulgent with drinks and treats if I don’t strictly moderate what I’m doing. (Just typing this out make me want a gin and tonic).
Anyhow – I’ve got about forty pounds I would like to shed and about three weeks ago I decided to get serious about doing it – so I re-enrolled at the YWCA, dusted off my MyFitnessPal account, joined a Facebook fitness support group run by a friend, and I’ve been given’er ever since. Exercising four times a week, keeping my calorie intake down to 1300 on a low/no-exercise day and 1600 on a high one, trying to eat less carbs and more good proteins – you know, dieting and exercising the old fashioned way (goddamn I wish there was a pill for this).
In the old days, I would have started out by going to the gym for a month or two, working out on the elliptical trainer to get myself ‘fit” before joining any classes.This time, however, I have dived right in to intensive cardio workouts with no preamble. So what if I have to take breaks every ten minutes or so – at least two workouts per week I’m doing it with a professional trainer to peppy music and that’s not so bad. The other days I might walk 6 km to work, or hop on a fitness machine to get my workout instead. I’m all about mixing it up this time around – and although I thought I might die during my first week, week three is starting to feel okay. In particular my really stiff calves and ankles have loosened right up, and I am already noticing a slight increase in my cardio capacity.
Also, I’ve lost two and a half pounds so far – which means it’s working! And I’m hoping it will keep working for the next forty weeks or so – because that’s how long this is going to take (probably longer, actually, I can’t imagine that I will keep losing one pound a week steady the whole time). It’s not inconceivable to me to do this, as I have lost this much weight (and more besides) before — it’s keeping it off that requires the forever vigilance. I am hoping that my mother’s struggle with Type 2 Diabetes is motivation enough for me to do so – because that definitely looks like no fun to me and I am most clearly at risk (genetically speaking) of developing it. I would rather than happen later than earlier, if you know what I mean (as in – never, could I please die first?)
I have to stop here and acknowledge that I really hate the fact that I overweight is something I have had to deal with for pretty much my whole life since puberty. I really hate the fact that people equate overweight with lazy, with indulgent, with mental health issues (my mother always told me that if you were fat then other people knew you weren’t well inside) – all the judgments. And I can’t stand the fact that I judge other people who have weight issues just as sure as I judge myself. And so this is an emotional thing for me, as it is for every person who decides to lose weight, because it means confronting all the bad feelings one has about oneself – which often go all the way back. I’m hoping to writing more about this as part of my own process of undoing the health damage my weight would surely do to the future me.
In the meantime, there is salad. Super tasty, nutritious salad – without even having to suffer the lettuce.
Post #1985: In which I confess to purchasing canning supplies over clothing……
I had $200 set aside to buy myself some new clothes this paycheque and instead I took that money and spent it all on a bulk order of canning lids – enough to last me through two canning seasons (about 800 lids – they come by weight, so piece number of approximate). I’m not sure whether that says that I am meh about buying new clothes, or fanatical about being right on the cusp of another canning season – but it’s probably a mix of both.
I’m meh about the clothing because 1) I mainly only purchase the boring kind of clothes – underwear, jeans, yoga pants and t-shirts (and try to make the rest) and 2) I am at a heavier weight than I would like to be at the moment and actively working to change that.
I’m stoked about the canning because – omigod I got to fill the basement with food again! Also, we really ate down our canning in a serious way this year and I’m proud of the fact that after years of canning, we are actually eating most of what we can (it’s taken me years to get realistic about what and how much we actually need in the canned goods department).
In any case, it’s not quite BC canning season – so all that excitement is currently confined to reading canning books and pressure canning the odd batches of broth and beans (4 quarts of bone broth, 16 pints of beans this weekend) to satisfy my larder. I’ve found a couple new-ish books recently (both modern and practical) that I’m quite pleased about – I will write reviews in the near future – but since this post isn’t a book review I’m going to leave those alone for now.
Point being that I found a recipe for blood-orange and meyer lemon marmalade in one of those books on the weekend that got me all hot and bothered – not because I love marmalade so much but because the idea of red citrus in the grey of March is oh-so-pleasing to me. And so I added the ingredients to my Saturday shopping list – only to discover that while blood oranges are everywhere right now, I could not get meyer lemons in any of the local shops (I swear I saw some earlier this week at Donalds…..)
So instead I settled on blood oranges alone and turned to the Internet to find a different recipe – one that called for the oranges alone….. and of course I was pretty much instantaneously rewarded with a Small Batch Blood Orange Marmalade recipe over at Food in Jars. Of course I decided to double it – three jars never being enough of anything for me (well except the sage flower jelly, I sure never needed six jars of that, although it does look pretty on the shelf). This recipe is particularly nice because instead of removing all the white pith, the process calls for soaking the oranges and rinds overnight in water which softens things up and evens out the bitter flavours. I did the orange prep on Saturday and yesterday when I returned from the zendo, I set those two pounds of chopped oranges to cook with five cups of sugar. Because I was doing other things and didn’t want to risk burning or boiling over I set these to simmer on low heat over many hours (five or so) before they met the gelling test (frozen plate, temperature @ 220, sheeting off spoon) and I put six half-pints the colour of a sunset into a pot of boiling water for sealing.
The picture at the top of this post is, of course, proof of my patience and I’ve set a task for my husband and step-daughter this week: find the perfect scone recipe to go with this beautiful jam!
Post #1984: A Reckoning.
It’s come time for some reckoning I think – since I have been only sporadically posting on this blog for the past year or two – and in the last year I think I’ve been averaging about two posts per month. In the land of daily diarizing, this isn’t even worth a mention – though I recognize that I have some regular readers who do prop or like my posts whenever I do get around to dropping by, and that is always noticed!
When I started blogging twelve years ago, I wanted a place where I could write every day, where I could connect with other folks, and where I could keep a record of my life as it went by – and that is how I used it for the first several years – to practice my writing, to keep track of things and share them with others….. but lately? It just seems that I come here to post nifty things I am making or random photographs, but I don’t get much into the rest of life at all.
And so I’ve been thinking – what do I want from this space? If all I want is a place to show off my stuff, there are now (unlike twelve years ago) a hundred different craft social media sites I could do that on. If all I want is a place for random photos and quips – Facebook is just fine for that purpose. But still, I am loathe to give up on the blog – because it represents something I still want to do… which is to write, and to share more in-depth about the contours of my life, especially as I enter middle age.
I started here at thirty, and as my posts attest, it has been a twisty-turning decade and a bit – I am definitely a happier and more grounded person than when I started out here, and yet I still constantly seek validation and support. Some of my struggles are the same (weight, fitness), while some of them have changed significantly (housing, partnership). I do still love to cook and make things, take photos of those things, and share what I’ve learned. And now, at the end of four years of graduate school I’m going to start reading on my own again – which I am sure will bring me back to the book reviews I used to post here fairly often. So it seems there is much to keep talking about, if only I give myself the time to do it. That means less random Internet surfing and more thinking about what I am going to write next.
So this is my intention – to post here daily for the next month and see whether the blogging takes again or not. I expect it will, since mostly these things are just habit, but I may get to the end of April and decide it’s just too much work after all. I know that I appreciate the blogs that I read, and I like to be a part of that sharing circle, so I’m going get myself inspired by all of you while reinvigorating my own writing practice.
Spring Equinox seems like and appropriate time for renewal, does it not?
Post #1983: Potential new spring frocks
I ordered these patterns as a birthday gift to myself and they arrived last night. Apparently the fabric I ordered to go along with them is on its way today (UPS). Guess I better get my current sewing project on the go so I can get these into my wardrobe. Feeling a serious need for some new spring frocks given the turn of weather here over the last few weeks (I know, I shouldn’t fall for the false spring but it’s impossible not to – I so much want to believe that the rains are over.
My plan for the weekend is gardening because the weather looks to be fine for it – mostly I need to clean up the garden I left in disarray last fall – but I also might try and sneak some arugula, corn salad, radish and spinach seeds in there – or at least the first two, leaving the last off until next weekend when we are actually into March. Really, the emphasis is on the clean-up because things are a mess. Anyhow, it may not be spring yet, but I’m getting myself all ready for it just the same.
Red Cedar 