Red Cedar
More apocalypse, less angst
Post #2014: Finding my seat
I don’t want to be one to fetishize where I meditate because it feels like one more excuse that gets in the way of practice. My friend, D., for example will only meditate in beautiful (outdoor) spaces. Because we live and work in a city, and getting to a park where one feels safe and private everyday is challenging, my friend only meditates once or twice a month. In the wintertime, it’s probably much less. When I first started sitting, I was determined to fit it in every day, often at home in the morning – but at other times in ugly little rooms at the university or work, facing a corner of my office, trying to find my zen on a pillow in a hotel room, sitting on the edge of a bathtub with the door locked because it was the only place separate from other people. And that really is the point, I think, to bring ourselves into present moment awareness wherever we happen to be – in transit, at home, in cities, or in nature – without waiting for the perfect circumstances that might never arise.
Having said all of that, this weekend I spent part of my time at the cabin building a special meditation place – pictured above! Just off the back of our property line (the property behind us is lightly forested on the property line and then logged the rest of the way up) – I built this little piece of flat ground out of a pallet and some scrap wood left on the site by our work crew, and rocks collected around the deer trail that it’s situated on.
As mentioned, it’s up in the trees, far off the road and out of sight from our cabin/outhouse/tent platforms – in a location that I am pretty confident no one ever walks – and it provides a level place to set up my bench or cushion in solitude. It’s a bit of a steep trek up, but once there I am free to practice open awareness to the sounds of birds, insects, and trees moving in the breeze – aware that enlightenment is easy on such mountaintops, but still grateful to carve out a dedicated practice place in the forest.
Post #2013: The episode in which I’m learning to knit.
The photograph above represents my first ever knitted project – a dishcloth! I mean, a lopsided, mis-gauged, dishcloth – but whatever. I’ve never knitted before now other than a few feeble attempts to learn over the last few years.
To learn anything that involves technical skill (languages, woodworking, playing an instrument, sewing, knitting, etc) requires that one get at least a little bit obsessed during the learning phase – something that has been missing from my previous attempts to become a knitter. This time around I’ve got the bug for sure – I spent most of the day Saturday learning knit stitch and starting this dishcloth (several times), finished the dishcloth yesterday, and started another one on the bus today which has been ripped out to be started yet again this afternoon (I’m working on getting gauge a bit more consistent before I move onto purl stitches). I think part of the reason that I feel like I’m getting it this time is because a knitting friend suggested to me that as someone who crochets, I might find continental knitting (where the yarn is held in the left hand) easier. This makes sense, and it also makes sense that crochet was initially easier for me to learn because I have strong left-hand dexterity from playing the fiddle all my life. I’m clearly right-handed, but my left hand works better for some things that require small muscle dexterity – grasping and tensioning yarn being one of those things.
Anyhow – I’m in the obsession stage of learning and that’s really what you need to get over the hump of making ugly things. For the record, here is the very first crocheted item I made four years ago – see any similarities between the two?
All you can really do at this point is move onto the next project (dishcloth) and hope it gets better. As I recall, the summer I learned to crochet, I made many, many dishcloths and then I made a horribly lopsided blanket out of non-washable wool yarn. So you know – we learn as we go. At least this time I am starting with a familiarity of yarn types and how to read patterns generally – that already makes this venture seem easier.
Looking at this picture of my first crochet is such a good reminder that we have to crawl before we can walk – but if one practices enough, the progress is inevitable. The key here is that we keep on doing something until it gets easier/more intelligible – and that’s the beginner’s hurdle. How much time and brain power do you have and how much does learning this new thing require? It’s not always the right time or place to acquire new skills (or make new habits or break old ones).
But right now feels like the right time to me – I’m also meditating more and reading novels again – which apparently means that post-degree I’ve got a whole lot more brain space for other things again.
Post #2012: All up in your stars….
I’m back from Ottawa after a week of work there, and have a touch of the obligatory airplane cold to prove it…. but at least it’s Friday and despite my little sniffles, I will end this day in my backyard with a beer in my hand. I present you with a photo of a starfish – taken on Flores Island almost seven years ago (it makes me sad that it’s been that long since we went there)…… Happy weekend everyone 🙂
Post #2011: Long live the ugly quilt.
So. The ugly quilt is almost finished – I completed the hand-tying last night and trimmed the edges – which puts me at the last step of binding. It’s been ten years since I started this puppy – a queen-sized quilt that I could never love enough to get to the end of. But the cabin has given it new life – because this is exactly the kind of bed covering you want in a casual place: nothing too lovable, nothing too precious, warm and extra-snuggly (I used a heavier-than-normal quilt batting on this project). Also, these colours won’t look dirty anytime soon – which reduces the number of times it will need washing in any given year.
My goal at this point is to finish this before our next cabin trip (first weekend of June), and also to get proper foam pads for our sleeping cots – my biggest problem to date at the cabin is that the pads on our cots (really old camping inflatables – one that I’ve had for a dozen years and the other is one I found washed up on a beach) are so uncomfortable that I have trouble sleeping and I think it’s time to get sheets and a coverlet rather than bed down in sleeping bags any longer.
After this little project is finished, I’ve got to get on the graduation/moving-into-residence-in-the-fall quilt for my step-daughter. I had hoped to finish it by her graduation date (mid-June) but these last couple of months have been busier than anticipated (not to mention warmer) and I’m just at the starting place with that one. Fortunately, she doesn’t need it until September!
Post #2010: Anticipating a cabin-y summer
Last week, after the epic cocktail party, we hit the road first thing the next day (after I took the glassware back to the party rental place). Destination: Link Lake – where the ice has now melted and spring/summer is well underway.
Not much to report really, except that we met the building inspector (who happened to be in the area when we arrived on Monday), got Internet installed (thanks to China Creek Wireless – great customer service), met our builder to discuss work for this building season, and lit up the new woodstove and “cured” the paint. We also hauled a cast iron sink up there for later use, and Brian did a bunch of cleaning up of building scraps and garbage which we hauled off to the dump in two loads.
Work planned for this summer includes: Loft, deck and stair railings, insulation, exterior cladding – plus two inspections: framing and insulation. Next summer will involve some interior finishing, and exterior painting. The summer after that will likely see the end of major interior finishing the then we will have to deal with the question of water/septic/plumbing in order to pass final inspection. It’s really a five-year project in terms of money and time (each year allows us to pay off more of the line of credit for the next year) – but now that I have broken it down in my mind this way, it seems a lot less overwhelming. Also, we are at the point where we have a very usable structure for summer (electricity, stove, roof, basic cooking gear set-up), and after the insulation is in, will also be winter-ready – which means everything else can get done on its own time.
And for the record, this week marks two years exactly since I saw the ad for the property on Landquest, next Monday will be two years since first saw the property. We haven’t done so bad for ourselves to go from overgrown lot with a fallen-down cabin/tipped-over outhouse – to a place where we can sleep inside or set up tents (we have two tent platforms plus a level front yard now). It’s definitely going to be as much time as possible at the cabin this summer!
Red Cedar 