Red Cedar
More apocalypse, less angst
Post #2004: Incongruous events.
On Wednesday evening, just after supper, I was at home alone working on this wee meditation pillow when my shed was broken into from the back alley side. I know that it happened after I got home because I had taken the garbage out when I returned from work, then made dinner and then settled into my sewing room. My neighbour from across the alley knocked on my door at 8:30 to tell me that the shed door was open. When I went outside to check two things were apparent: 1) the handle was still locked, as though the door was forced, and 2) the mitre saw I borrowed from one of our land-partners was gone.
I had a moment of distress and not knowing what to do – but then I closed the shed, made sure the studio was also locked, went in the house and called the police (I normally wouldn’t call over something that small – but I wanted it recorded for insurance). Then, as I waited for an officer to return the phone call I returned to finishing the pillow. After nine, I started working on piecing a quilt for my daughter’s graduation/moving into residence gift – figuring that it was unlikely that I was going to hear back from the VPD at all. At ten, an officer called me and was outside of my house – he came through and took a look at the shed, showed me how it had been forced and said “lots of break-ins around here, but for the record, very little violent crime – get a deadbolt”). It was a simple transaction, I got my file number, and at some point I need to call it into our insurance company. The officer seemed apologetic that there wasn’t much to be done – but as we both knew, that saw was already on its way to the scrap metal yard across the bridge.
My partner is away for work, Wednesday was his first night gone, and I was surprised at how un-upsetting the whole thing was, despite the fact I was alone and had to deal with the interruption on my own. I let the neighbours know, made sure the house, studio and car were locked up tight, and I went right back to what I was working on. I’m going to have to replace that saw and that annoys me, and a deadbolt will get put on the door – but otherwise? A small event, incongruous with my calm and quiet evening, but still nothing to get upset about.
Post #2003: Alive we are, alive.
In a world with so much heartbreak, so much disconnect and suffering and rage, it is we can do to just be alive – to be present, to connect, and to attend each moment as though it were our only one.
Post #2002: Always new things to learn….
I haven’t been making much lately – too busy with exercise and other things, not feeling obsessively inspired – it happens sometimes, you just get bored with all the things that you can do…. but recently I ordered this book and it’s got me all amped up to learn some more embroidery! Needlework is something I’ve done varied amounts of – counted cross stitch was the first craft I ever taught myself (right before I learned to make jam for the first time) – but I’ve done only small bits of freehand embroidery, little more than experimenting with a few stitches. Not long ago, I came across Mary Corbet’s Needle N’ Thread website and was completely blown away by this project in particular. It got me looking at embroidery/needlework books and projects again which is how I came to be in possession of Naoko Shimoda’s book late last week – the design on the front cover of the book is especially tantalizing me, but many of her bag projects are both straight forward and stunning (such is the way with Japanese textiles). In any case, I am inspired to learn basic (really basic) embroidery so I can make one or two of Shimoda’s projects and so I spent the weekend practicing my stem stitch (above). I am currently working on small project number two in order to practice some other stitches and get some more comfort with the various techniques that the work in Artfully Embroidered calls for. This is not to say that I have ceased my other making activities – I’ve got a quilt that needs quilting, another quilt top which needs sewing and innumerable other unfinished objects which need some love right now. I’m hopeful that there will be time in the near future – though this month is a bit packed!
Post #2001: Lighter and lighter…..
As much as I want to see them, I find visits with family exhausting. Returning to East Vancouver reminds me of who I am now and who I want to continue becoming as I age. Lighter and lighter. That is my goal.
Post #2000: This is just what it is.
I turned forty-two in February – that above is a picture of me taken by Wendy D. just prior to my birthday. I have been blogging here for almost 11 years and this is post number 2000 – which represents an awful lot of photos and written snippets over all the life changes that have happened since I started posted here not long after my 31st birthday and during a period of a lot of internal upset in my life. At this posting juncture I can say that life at the moment has a great deal of calm and accomplishments, love and relationship, security, and even a little adventure – at least on a personal front. I couldn’t speak for the world eleven years ago and I sure can’t now!
Since I’ve recently renewed my commitment around blogging, sharing snippets and photos, the occasional longer rant or two – this is not the last post by a longshot.
As Joan Didion writes in her essay, On Keeping a Notebook: “I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door at 4 a.m. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends. We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget. We forget the loves and the betrayals alike, forget what we whispered and what we screamed, forget who we were.”
While I have also intermittently kept private notebooks, this space serves as much a record of my public selves and how they have changed overtime. And while I definitely do not find all my past attractive company, I agree that it is a mistake to pretend it didn’t exist or edit away its edges.
Red Cedar 