Not everything is harassment.

(For some reason WordPress Dashboard is showing up really screwy in my Firefox browser, but not in IE – this has been going on for a couple of days and I can not figure out how that could suddenly happen. If anyone out there has any insight on this please let me know.)

Since returning from bargaining, I’ve had a whole lot of union stewarding situations in the workplace. Before Xmas, since the holidays….. it’s been one unending stream of discontented people coming to see me recently. Which at best is interesting, and at worst breaks up the work day if nothing else.

Although I deal a lot in basic basic sorts of complaints (unpaid overtime, underpayment for work, unsafe working conditions) – probably the number one issue I deal with weekly is conflicting personalities. Which makes some sense in a workplace as diverse as ours – there’s all sorts of ideas about how to communicate or complete our work, coming from all sorts of personal backgrounds.  Unfortunately, it’s not personality conflict that people want to discuss with me as their representative, but rather, the average complaint about a supervisor or co-worker always ends up couched in terms of personal harassment. (Which perhaps is one outcome from the amount of time spent on workplace anti-harassment training rather than workplace conflict-reduction training).

The standard definition for harassment reads something like:

Harassment covers a wide range of offensive behaviour. It is commonly understood as behaviour intended to disturb or upset. In the legal sense, it is behaviour which is found threatening or disturbing.” Wikipedia

Which is somewhat vague don’t you think? I mean, a lot of workplace behaviour is disturbing or upsetting – and who is to say whether it is intentional and directed or not? Where is the line between micromanaging behaviour (which drives everyone crazy) and focused nitpicking of the harassing variety? Where is the line between shunning and unfriendliness between co-workers? And further to that – even if there is some abrasiveness going on in our work units, does everything have to be pollyanna friendly? Does every situation need an intervention or is some of it just up to the individual to ignore the unpleasant party if possible?

These types of questions are the challenge of representation – because I am partial to mediated solutions in most of these situations rather than formal complaints – particularly if I believe it is more of a personality conflict than intended and focused torment.

Sadly, the discourse on harassment in our society has become so watered down that some individuals file everything objectionable under “personal harassment”. Complaints I have heard in this category include:

  • My supervisor frowns all the time – I can tell he doesn’t like me.
  • My supervisor wants my home phone number when I am working from home.
  • My supervisor makes me call in every day I am sick or absent from the office.
  • My supervisor is always hassling me to input my leave time into the system as soon as I return to the workplace.
  • My supervisor is always pointing out errors in my work. (When checked, in fact actual real serious work errors were occurring).

(And no, I am not making any of those up – each of these has been cited to me as an example of harassment) . Often these come with – “no one else is asked to do this,” “everyone else does it” (ie – come in late) or “no one else is treated this way”. None of which is any ammunition for an actual harassment investigation and case – and is a rather shabby attempt in some cases to smear another co-worker with the same behaviour the complainant has been accused of.

Now, I’m not saying that I don’t see true cases of harassment as well; last year I had a doozy of a sexual harassment/discrimination case that floored me – and I see lots of medical harassment and discrimination around mental health issues and other invisible disabilities. What I am saying is that at least half (if not more) of what people claim to be harassment is not provable in the sense of being able to make a legal case – and the use of the terminology is in itself counterproductive to finding solutions.

Why is that? Well, because once we lay down a claim of harassment, we immediately buy into a victim/bully paradigm in which the victim claims they can’t possibly do anything to change the situation and the onus lies completely on the other person/bully. Which pretty much kiboshes any type of mediation and kicks into a formal process that is bound to lose (contrary to the right-wing media promotes, the bar for finding harassment is quite high) – thus creating even more conflict or strain on the relationship.

In this land of the victimized, I find that every solution/strategy/proposal I suggest as a union rep (such as conflict resolution, mediation, stress-reduction training, or even finding strategies to ignore the offending person’s behaviour) are all met with impossibility. Like nothing could ever work short of the other person being fired from their job because that’s the only “fair” solution. Frustrating, yes? And dangerous from our perspective, because it sets up a system whereby all that is required to have someone terminated is an accusation of wrong-doing. Now wouldn’t that create an unhealthy workplace!

So – what is the answer? I really do think that in addition to anti-harassment training, large employers like mine should invest in conflict-resolution and interpersonal communication training as well. And that should be mandatory for every new employee who comes into the workplace. I think also that managers and supervisors need to be on the lookout for personality conflicts and finding ways in which to address them through collective training (not through paltry “team-building” bullshit exercises that everyone hates). As a society, we really do need to rethink what constitutes “not getting along” versus “I can’t work here anymore” and providing support in the form of counseling to help individuals make that determination as well. A lot of what I see in my (very middle-class)office has roots in mental health, family problems, housing and addiction issues that are going unsupported by a social safety net that broke a lot time ago.

It’s not like any of this is easy to stuff to muddle through, but I’m pretty convinced that a lot of working stuff out has to do with recasting the conversation – even as we acknowlege that serious harassment and screwy power relationships need to be addressed seriously and often legally.  As a whole, we could all do a lot better at conflict resolution – especially if we can acquire the tools in order to do so.

Goals for 2011

I just updated my procrastination log for the day, and have to acknowledge that I have not been keeping up with all the tasks at hand this week. Not only that, I realize that it’s January 13th and as much as I have intended to – no intentions have been set on this blog for the next year.  Oh procrastination!

I’m not so much for resolutions really, but goals – things I have been working towards for some time, or am identifying as a priority during this time of grey and introspection. And so for 2011 I have identified that in each area of my life I have some things I’m setting the course for in the aspiration of becoming a less-stressed, more grounded, and more productive person:

Work

  • Become a zero-inboxer, or as close to it as possible. I have been on this since January 1st, and it really does feel awesome to leave work with less than ten emails in the inbox.
  • Communicate better with the staff I supervise – to wit I’ve arranged for bi-weekly meetings in order to do this.
  • Put an end to procrastination! To-Do Lists are my friend. Crossing off items every day makes me feel better about my existence.
  • Dial out of the negativity in my office rather than getting caught up in it. I suspect this may involve a lot more listening to iTunes.

Relationship(s)

  • More impromptu overnights & trips. So far this year we’ve gone to Bowen, and have trips planned for February, March and April. Navigating new places & visiting familiar ones is good for B. and I – us out in the world together!
  • Be nicer. Seriously, sometimes I’m too crabby with B. even though he is my one true love. Given that I want a long and healthy relationship, I want to find continual ways of acknowledging the amazingness of my partner rather than being snappish because of whatever issues I happen to be having.
  • Have confidence in my friendships and that people actually want my company. I tend not to follow up with friends because deep down inside I am sure that my presence is an annoyance, and that phone calls are unwelcome. This is something I don’t expect to conquer in 2011, but I can work on it by making a couple phone calls to friends a month.

Blog(s)

  • Post-a-day on this blog – even if that post comprises only a photo or a few words. I suspect lining up a few blog posts at a time when I’m free would be a good way to ensure that even on busy days and holidays I’ve got content.
  • More networking with other bloggers. More reading other blogs and subscriptions. Blogging is two-way communication after all and I am going to set regular weekly time aside for this.
  • Better tagging and categorizing on all blogs.
  • New posts at slipperyfish.ca and viaducteast.ca this year or I’m cancelling those domains. I’ve e-clutter like I’ve got basement clutter and it has to stop!

Personal/Health

  • Finish my application and get into grad school.
  • Lose ten pounds by the summer, get regular physical fitness back into my life (I’ve been slacking since the fall!)
  • Spend more time in the studio where it is really quiet – reading, meditating, having private space. I feel guilty about this, even though I know I shouldn’t.

Garden/Home

  • Continue to relocalize to within as tight a footprint as possible. More local food, beer, wine – and consumer products. More making things for ourselves from their constituent parts.
  • More seed saving.
  • Learn to grow great red cabbage, brussels sprouts, cauliflower and onions. Struggle vegetables for me, but ones I love to eat.

I’m sure there are more goals I’m missing at the moment – but the beauty of blogging is that I can always come in and add them later. For now these all seem attainable and concrete – which is exactly what goals should be. Woo hoo 2011! I am totally ready for this one 🙂

January in the Garden

The borage isn't in the garden right now - this is just a reminder that sunnier days are on the horizon!

In an effort to document garden activities month-by-month in my pacific northwest garden I am introducing the category “In the garden right now”. I find lists like this useful in other publications and blogs – as reminders and inspiration to get out there and dig my hands in the soil. So this January, 2011 I have:

  • Emailed local apiaries about the possibility of getting bees for 2011.
  • Ordered my seed and mushroom plugs.
  • Turned the worm compost to make sure everyone is still living, and added a liberal layer of leaf mulch to their habitat in order to continue staving off the cold.
  • Pruned my neighbour’s quince tree while it’s in dormancy and can’t really be hurt too much – the branches were taking over our patio.
  • Reviewed the garden while the foliage is most died back to plan building onto my garden’s bones as the weather allows.
  • Started a new garden journal.

Edible things in the garden this week

  • Dead lemongrass is fragrant and good for teas and soups – I need to cut the patch back and bring it inside.
  • My rosemary is flourishing right now.
  • The kale is sweetened by the frost, even though it looks a mite sad at the moment. Unfortunately every other green was killed by the cold this year.

First quilts of 2011

I finished these quilts last week – my first projects upon bringing home the new PFAFF after the Christmas holidays – but am just getting around to posting about them now. Two quilts for two pregnant friends made with the American Jane fabric line Punctuation. I am pretty much in love with all retro imagery in fabric and also fabric that includes writing or textual motifs – so this line and the alphabetical center panel thrill me to no end. I am quite pleased with how these turned out (I am pretty limited in my quilting skills) – and used them as an exercise in how different quilting stitches work on my machine. These measure 38 x 54 inches.

More detail:

My favourite square - Velocipede!

A hop, skip and jump…..

B. and I took ourselves a little post-holiday break this weekend and hopped the ferry to Bowen for a much-needed overnight escape. Just the two of us, hiking Killarney Lake, hot-tubbing in the afternoon and cooking a gourmet dinner and breakfast in our little rented cabin….

All within 45 minutes of our home! I really do love that aspect of where we live – so close to getting away all the time – and Bowen is just a bus and ferry-ride away. I’m thinking summer dinners at Tuscany after work sound like a nice treat – and we can make it there and home in time for bed.

In March we have scheduled an overnight to Lummi Island in Washington state to have dinner and stay at the Willows Inn on their Sunday-night special (dinner, overnight and breakfast for $235). Another close-by spot – just across the pond from Bellingham by county ferry.

Even as I outline my spring projects for the next few months, I’m eager for little adventures away from home as well. I absolutely love packing up the car with B. and hitting the road – for an afternoon, an overnight, or a couple of weeks – it’s all about the little intimacies of travel and exploring new spaces (as close to home as they might be). And we both note at the end of our little sojourns – how much closer we feel, how much more relaxed. It’s almost always possible to make time for an overnight – and one of the essential pleasures of our life together.