Red Cedar
More apocalypse, less angst
Post #2005: A little fitness update
I’ve just finished my first meditation retreat of any length (and by that, I mean more than half a day) – a non-residential two-day sit out at UBC lead by Norman Fischer and hosted by my zendo – which was a really interesting experience in that all the cliches about longer sits turn out to be true. It is an oddly emotional experience, physically very challenging, and you come to the end of it with great feelings of admiration and positivity for the people who meditate on either side of you, even though you pretty much don’t interact with them. I think Saturday felt like the longest day of my life (the retreat went from 9-9 on that day) – and I definitely struggled with my own process, doubts about whether I should be there and so forth – but by the close on Sunday I was excited about the prospect about future/longer retreats.
Meditation is a lot like going to the gym: it’s sometimes a struggle to get there, but you always feel better for having done it; the changes are incremental but noticeable; once you start doing it, there is a momentum to keep at it. I suppose that really meditation is a lot like anything that requires some work and discipline – it’s a bit of a tough haul, but it wouldn’t be worth doing if it wasn’t.
Which is really how this relates to being a fitness update I suppose – because I’m taking a little stock after 8 weeks back at the gym, watching my food intake, and keeping my alcohol to a minimum – and even though I’ve got a long way to go to achieve my total weight loss goal (forty pounds), I’m pretty happy with where I am right now. In all, I’ve lost about ten pounds (I say about because it fluctuates and it also depends where I count my start weight from), but even better – I’ve lost four inches from my waist, my hips and my bust. That four inches on the waist in particular took me back down to a healthier waist circumference (I’m out of the higher risk zone for developing type 2 diabetes and heart disease) – which is a nice little health milestone. Also, when I go to the gym and lift weights, I’ve got muscles that appear! Plus everything else feels better, I have more energy and feel generally a lot more positive about myself than I was during the winter.
So hooray for sitting, and moving, and all the states in between!
Post #2004: Incongruous events.
On Wednesday evening, just after supper, I was at home alone working on this wee meditation pillow when my shed was broken into from the back alley side. I know that it happened after I got home because I had taken the garbage out when I returned from work, then made dinner and then settled into my sewing room. My neighbour from across the alley knocked on my door at 8:30 to tell me that the shed door was open. When I went outside to check two things were apparent: 1) the handle was still locked, as though the door was forced, and 2) the mitre saw I borrowed from one of our land-partners was gone.
I had a moment of distress and not knowing what to do – but then I closed the shed, made sure the studio was also locked, went in the house and called the police (I normally wouldn’t call over something that small – but I wanted it recorded for insurance). Then, as I waited for an officer to return the phone call I returned to finishing the pillow. After nine, I started working on piecing a quilt for my daughter’s graduation/moving into residence gift – figuring that it was unlikely that I was going to hear back from the VPD at all. At ten, an officer called me and was outside of my house – he came through and took a look at the shed, showed me how it had been forced and said “lots of break-ins around here, but for the record, very little violent crime – get a deadbolt”). It was a simple transaction, I got my file number, and at some point I need to call it into our insurance company. The officer seemed apologetic that there wasn’t much to be done – but as we both knew, that saw was already on its way to the scrap metal yard across the bridge.
My partner is away for work, Wednesday was his first night gone, and I was surprised at how un-upsetting the whole thing was, despite the fact I was alone and had to deal with the interruption on my own. I let the neighbours know, made sure the house, studio and car were locked up tight, and I went right back to what I was working on. I’m going to have to replace that saw and that annoys me, and a deadbolt will get put on the door – but otherwise? A small event, incongruous with my calm and quiet evening, but still nothing to get upset about.
Post #2003: Alive we are, alive.
In a world with so much heartbreak, so much disconnect and suffering and rage, it is we can do to just be alive – to be present, to connect, and to attend each moment as though it were our only one.
Post #2002: Always new things to learn….
I haven’t been making much lately – too busy with exercise and other things, not feeling obsessively inspired – it happens sometimes, you just get bored with all the things that you can do…. but recently I ordered this book and it’s got me all amped up to learn some more embroidery! Needlework is something I’ve done varied amounts of – counted cross stitch was the first craft I ever taught myself (right before I learned to make jam for the first time) – but I’ve done only small bits of freehand embroidery, little more than experimenting with a few stitches. Not long ago, I came across Mary Corbet’s Needle N’ Thread website and was completely blown away by this project in particular. It got me looking at embroidery/needlework books and projects again which is how I came to be in possession of Naoko Shimoda’s book late last week – the design on the front cover of the book is especially tantalizing me, but many of her bag projects are both straight forward and stunning (such is the way with Japanese textiles). In any case, I am inspired to learn basic (really basic) embroidery so I can make one or two of Shimoda’s projects and so I spent the weekend practicing my stem stitch (above). I am currently working on small project number two in order to practice some other stitches and get some more comfort with the various techniques that the work in Artfully Embroidered calls for. This is not to say that I have ceased my other making activities – I’ve got a quilt that needs quilting, another quilt top which needs sewing and innumerable other unfinished objects which need some love right now. I’m hopeful that there will be time in the near future – though this month is a bit packed!
Post #2001: Lighter and lighter…..
As much as I want to see them, I find visits with family exhausting. Returning to East Vancouver reminds me of who I am now and who I want to continue becoming as I age. Lighter and lighter. That is my goal.
Red Cedar 