Red Cedar
More apocalypse, less angst
seeing through new glass
yes, it’s just a picture of some marigolds on my deck, taken with my new macro lens though!
so the last component of the lenses and adapter i ordered showed up today which means i now have telephoto and macro capability for my digital camera. i also have some filters on order which should be interesting to play with (in particular i am keen to try out the polarizing filter). i’m pretty excited for a sunny day and a hike so i can try out my new camera capabilities, thought i expect it will take some experimentation to get my photos just the way i want (no aspirations for professional level here, just good blog-fodder really).
i managed to do some qigong practice this morning for the first time in months, something i really feel like i ought to be doing every day but can never seem to find the motivation for. i am trying to figure out what kind of discipline i need to cultivate in order to maintain a daily practice – other people i know seem to be able to do this (meditation, yoga, etc.) but i have trouble sticking to anything for long enough to get real benefits from it. i used to excuse myself by saying i was too busy to add one more thing to my day, but really it’s about prioritizing the inner work at the same level as the outer work.
after the qigong and some chores (recycling, laundry) i went out to have a swim, even though it’s a cloudy day and quite cool. i am focussed at the moment on building up my confidence in swimming in open bodies of water, something i refused to do for many years having developed some mild phobia in my mid-teens. about two years ago i decided it was important for me to challenge this phobia and i have been working on it ever since. last summer for the first time i went swimming in the ocean alone – and each time i go out i have to work on myself a little bit not to worry about drowning or being eaten by a big fish (or more likely, an undertow!)
other than a bit of computer research and guitar playing, i have nothing else planned for the day – but it’s back to work and the city tomorrow so i am enjoying the peace of my neighbourhood while i have it.
a morning swim
a bouquet from my haphazard and way overgrown garden.
the weather is forecasted for showers later this afternoon, so i took advantage of the sun this morning and went for a swim before breakfast at secret beach, a pretty little spot just outside gibsons landing. i hadn’t been there before, but i am trying to challenge my lack of local knowledge by checking out places that seem to hold the promise of something to do. at first i went up to bonniebrook, but the beach there is way too rocky, and it looked pretty open and choppy, so i turned back towards town and found the narrow trail in between houses that leads down steeply to the “secret” beach.
lucky me, there was only one other person on the beach (smoking a joint and walking her dog) so i changed into my bathing suit and went for a dip, taking my time to get used to the cold water and then just allowing myself to just be, floating around, paddling a bit as the waves necessitated. i realized afterwards i probably could have just swum naked there, but i wasn’t sure how busy it would be so i was hedging against modesty. the beach there is a mix of sand and small rocks, pretty easy on the feet – and the water was just the right temperature to get the qi moving. after about 20 minutes i dried off and then went for breakfast before running a couple of errands and returning home.
i am just now relaxing after having done some small repotting of plants on the deck and general house-tidying.
i have been struggling with self-motivation lately, and then finding myself bored but not really interested in making myself do something to make myself unbored. partly i think it’s related to an intense self-consciousness i feel whenever i go out, as i still don’t feel like i have a place here in this community. of course, unless i start interacting more with people that will never change. i don’t remember moving to a new town being this difficult in the past (in terms of meeting people), but i suspect that was related to me being younger and less shy about new situations. going out to find a place to swim today (and i will definitely return there) seemed like a really big deal to me until i just forced myself to go and do it… and then it wasn’t a big deal at all and the water was gorgeous and i felt so amazing that i didn’t want to get out…. i think i have to keep reminding myself of these moments and eventually i’ll get over these little phobias about new situations and get on with living in this town for real.
far be it from me….
…to dis’ the bagpipes. played in the right circumstances, and well, the bagpipes can be a marvelous instrument… but the guy in my neighbour’s yard playing them this canada day eve has so far butchered amazing grace, meg merrilees, and the highland march several times over. i suspect he is practicing for some event tomorrow, but i’m not sure if anything will help that man find his key. i really am trying to be zen about the piercing noise, but am finding it a bit of a challenge.
things are a'changing (updated)
didn’t want to make a whole new post to say, i’ve been hacking and got the problem figured out from before (the stylesheet needed for ie wasn’t included in the download package). will spend more time getting everything purdied up this weekend and installing a few more themes (wordpress 1.5 is nice that way, easy to switch between themes, but i’m never content with them out of the box so it requires fiddling to get them right)….. again, input welcome.
if you have been paying any attention to my blog today you will notice that changes are afoot…. i upgraded to wordpress 1.5 and am busy hacking the css on a downloaded template at the moment to get it just the way i want it. this would be much easier if i knew anything at all about php or css – but, this is a limitation i have to work with. please let me know what you think. i have turned comments back on.
a little bit freer
no to walmart and yes to same-sex marriage. huh, how long before the us starts bombing canada?
seriously though, these two news items were good to wake up to this morning, like maybe it is possible for things to change in a positive direction rather than always spiralling negatively towards war and the human/nature destroying path we seem hell-bent on. even just to be a little bit freer seems an enormous leap in contrast to what is going on elsewhere in the world… but of course, it is never enough and real change moves along slower than a banana slug in the late spring sun.
i accidentally ended up working from home today due to a mistake at the autobody shop where i took my car to be fixed. they had told me it would be ready to pick up at 8 and i was planning on hopping the 8:30 ferry, but when i got there they still needed to clean it up and told me to come back in 1/2 hour… so i made the executive decision to skip my morning meeting and work from home instead (there really wasn’t much of a choice at that point). it’s been good so far, the meeting i skipped would have been a waste of time, and instead i’ve gotten caught up on some emails, and edited some web graphics that have been needing my attention for awhile. generally when i work from home, i end up answering all the email that just sits there the rest of the time because i have this unbroken time to think through the answers i have to give. it’s nice for a change to get up at a reasonable hour (6:30 as opposed to 5:15) and feel like i’ve gotten a decent sleep and a relaxed environment to work in… in a little while i will walk to the post box and see if the new lenses i ordered for my digital camera have arrived yet….
Red Cedar 