Red Cedar

i forgot to mention this other day in my list of good things, but on sunday i purchased two tickets to see the philip glass ensemble perform the music to koyaanisqatsi live at the queen e over a showing of the film. i think the first time i saw this film was on much music at some point in the eighties – at the time it was a fairly new film (only a few years old). that it continues to be revived and shown in various venus 24 years after its release is a testament to the resonant and powerful messages conveyed by the combination of stunning filmwork and orchestration. i do not quite have a date lined up for this yet, but i bought two tickets to ensure that i would be able to share this with at least one other person. i am very much looking foward to this event, which is one of those things that comes around only maybe once in a lifetime (and lucky for me, just after my birthday, so i could justify the tickets as a birthday present to myself…)

i have somehow managed to be horrendously unproductive at work lately, but simultaneously meet all my deadlines this week. this gives the appearance i am working full-tilt, when really i’m having trouble focusing. i’m hoping that the anti-stress herbal supplement i got from my naturopath today helps in that regard after a few days.

in general the last couple of days have been okay, one of the women i’ve been representing in a grievance brought me a little chocolate today as a thank-you, which was super nice – and i just got off a long and funny phone conversation with a union friend who i haven’t seen for awhile.

as for the weekend? i’ve been making a plan in my head for a sewing area in the downstairs of my house since i have a lot of room down there i never use so i am going to look at the sally ann for a table to use for a cutting area. jess gave me a really good suggestion on a second table for sewing which will mean a trip into ikea sometime in the next few weeks. i’m trying to be a bit more conservative with money right now, so it may be awhile before i actually pull this plan together. besides thrift store excursions, i’m thinking i might start cutting a new quilt intended as a gift, and watching a movie with friends saturday, then spending some hardcore geek time on resist! cleanup sunday.

some normal life yes? this is the objective.

okay – so although the last few days has been a bit rough for me – i have to recognize the good things too:

• michelle and sean made me excellent dinner tonight and i got to play with their baby.
• my ipod nano was delivered by courier today
• my kinda cute next door neighbour, it turns out, is a really nice guy who came by this afternoon to make sure i was doing alright since crying on his shoulder saturday night (literally and embarrasingly) – he wanted to check that i “wasn’t so mortified” i would never talk to him again.
• when i posted a request on a list i moderate for a new york times subscription and a copy of “a language older than words” to be sent to darren, i received positive replies on both within 10 minutes.
• a friend is taking me out for dinner tomorrow.
• i got a letter from darren in the mail.

  it’s not all sucky.

i finished another quilt today – again, with all sorts of mistakes – but just right for personal use i think. the theme was a post-dec 7th one – “feeling blue” – which i designed myself on a pretty basic 9-block theme. the non-solid squares were strip pieced and the strip-pieced heart was appliqued on top. it’s just a small one for cuddling up in front of the computer with.

as it turns out, i’ve decided not to respond to any of them. it’s quite clear to me that at the moment i’m just looking for diversions to keep myself from falling apart. i’m overwhelmed enough without adding anything else.

fuck, am i ever not coping well with life right now.

after reading about a friend’s hookups via the craigslist personals, i decided last night to give it a whirl and posted a message there to see what the uptake would be – you know, looking for a lover, don’t make my life difficult kinda thing. so far i have had 35 responses, most of them with photos.

what makes craigslist so different from other dating sites? i’ve never had nearly that kindof response… i mean, they aren’t all people i’m interested in, but there’s at least a couple who look somewhat intriguing. we shall see – i’m a bit overwhelmed at the moment and i’m suffering from a bit of a crisis in self-confidence. i shall give myself until the weekend to respond to any of them seriously.

if you want to see what i posted, look under the link.

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