
One small change really can trigger a host of others.
Just a few weeks ago I set a hiking goal for the first week of July (and convinced several people to come with). Since then I have re-entered the gym for regular workouts, taken up pilates, had several outdoor hikes and plus started periodically walking to work. This week I booked an appointment with a trainer for posture and alignment analysis and I cut wheat from my diet.
My goals have expanded from just being able to do a 5-day hike again to overall health, posture and diet – not to mention getting the thyroid nodules under control and boosting its function. And now that I am re-engaged on a path of wellness, I can acknowledge that I also want a better body at the end of it all. A more energized and more youthful body, not to mention a slimmer one. Or at least a more toned one.
This is not a first-time endeavour for me – not by a long shot. I have been in better and worse and better and worse shape for the last twenty years. It’s a bit of a cycle, as it is for all of us who don’t naturally gravitate towards athletics (and those of us who like bread, cheese and wine a little too much). This brings a bag of mixed feelings each time I re-enter the gym.
On the one hand, I’ve got myself in shape before, so I know it can be done. On the other, I’ve got myself in shape before and then got out of shape again, so what’s the point?
I think the point is not letting the out of shape become the rest of my life slide into poor health by the age of sixty. And also, I got more hiking to do!

This past Easter Sunday, Brian and I grabbed a friend and drove out to Pitt Lake where we canoed up Widgeon Slough and then hiked 6 km to Widgeon Falls and back. Brian dislikes hiking unless there is a “point” – ie, something of an adventure or a picnic at the end – so combining a canoe trip with a hike *and* a picnic is something he can get behind. Turns out, the falls are an incredible place to have lunch – some of the nicest I have been to with lots of great smooth rock face for picnicking on. And the canoe trip up is pretty sweet too.

It’s a process, this getting back into the body, and it’s important to pepper that with reminders of what is out there to see and do. We’ve had such amazing weather on the coast these past two weeks – which has certainly aided my mood to get outside and hit the trails – and I’m taking advantage of all the great resources I have around me in order to stay positive and increasingly ramp myself back up to speed.
While I am not making any big pronouncements or promises – I am hopeful that the shot at the head of this post will become a “before” shot reminder of where I started. Happy yes! Mobile and somewhat agile – yes! But also not in the shape I want to be. At forty, I know I can do a lot better.
Despite having a fabulous weekend full of everything I most enjoy (hiking, playing music, gardening, sewing, friends, household organizing and so forth), I went to bed last night and woke up this morning in a terrible mood. Or maybe it’s better to say an odd mood. Anxious and a bit depressed for no good reason. Plus I’ve got a knot in my right calf that won’t come out despite stretching and massaging. Not only is it wearing on my last nerve – it’s making me all angry inside!
*sigh*
Right, so we all have these days and I’m pretty sure mine is linked to end of term stress + busy week + body aches reminding me that as I get older I need to stretch more as I work out. Oh, and I guess it might also be related to yesterday being my first wheat/gluten-free day. It could be that too.
But just knowing why we might feel crappy isn’t enough to turn it around – so I’ve got three strategies for shifting my mood today:
In shorthand that is – productivity, movement, and creativity. Simply typing those three words makes me feel slightly better without doing anything else – because I’m imbuing my grumpy self with potentials rather than more limitations. Limitations are where I get stuck on days like this, and those turn into anxieties which turn into thoughts I don’t want to share here…. and so on.
One other thing that makes me feel a little brighter is looking at this hexagon flower appliques on a set of napkins I made as a housewarming gift for a friend:
There’s something about their patchwork and wonkiness (my mitered corners didn’t turn out quite as square as I would have liked) that makes my heart lift a little. Which I suppose is the point of making pretty little things.
There was a time in my life when I could see no point to much that wasn’t functional – which lead to an impulse to make things that were primarily for use (as opposed to decoration). The more I delve into what actually makes my heart glad, the more I want to bring colorful touches to every object I wear or use in my home. Which is part of living in a better headspace overall, isn’t it?
It’s a trip, this body-mind thing we’ve got going on – and I’m looking down all available avenues for living the best life possible. Not a perfect life, but one in which my bad moods can be floated out by the things I do, the people I know, and the recognition that we all have days that start out bad, but we don’t have to get stuck in them.

The best thing I did on my fortieth birthday was get myself a pair of new walking shoes (that look good with skirts). That, and going snowshoeing at Cypress. Both of these actions were intended to signal my desire to make forty a year about physical activity – and in this I have so far been successful.
Nearly two years of grad school have steadily whittled away at my physical fitness, my attention has been shifted from body to mind and in the process I have put on ten pounds (maybe more) not to mention losing what little toning I had worked up to in my last fitness spurt.
So I am walking to work a lot, hiking on weekends. taking pilates classes twice a week and doing the occasional elliptical workout. March has been my month for building activity into my routine, in April I am going to add some more fast-paced cardio and I might also add a 10-day fitness intensive being offered at the Y just to give myself the extra push to the next intensity level.
While it’s too early in the process to notice much in the way of body changes (except that my back is stiffer than normal) – I have noticed a definite uptick in the amount of extra actions I am taking outside of “working out”. Whether that’s walking more, carrying heavy things up the stairs, painting in the kitchen or gardening – I’ve found myself more willing to engage in small activity all the time which is a direct result of the increased focus on bodily health. In short: a lot more stuff is getting done around the house these days!
So it’s all good – it’s spring and the weather has been amenable to getting outside – and besides that I am looking forward to the fitter life I am creating every day. And hiking in the Rockies!
I have been having the most unproductive work day ever owing to some kind of network update that has all but cut my connection to our web development servers. After two hours of simply trying to log in, I connected only to discover the whole shebang running so slow as to make work impossible. And I’m on a deadline so it’s extra-frustrating because I got shit to do!
But instead I am stuck behind a machine that records each keystroke two seconds after its made….. so I’ve been making do with other work and hoping the problem resolves itself by tomorrow.
Tonight is my class presentation for my course in Science and Human Values and since I haven’t much else to say today I am sharing that presentation here. It’s been awhile since I posted anything academic after all….. this course hasn’t required a ton of writing (beyond the final paper which I have to start working on this weekend). This piece is a seminar introduction with questions to follow that I hope will stimulate some discussion in class. I’m afraid the questions have less to do with the book I was assigned to present on, and are an attempt to broaden the discussion away from the history of the development of geology. But what better place to push discussion than at the discovery of deep time?
Notes on The Map that Changed the World, William Smith and the Birth of Modern Geology by Simon Winchester
What struck me as I was reading Winchester’s book, was not really the tale of William Smith – an interesting fellow and certainly a person who opened up a new way of seeing the world – but the nature of discovery itself and how that shapes and changes our conception of our human selves.
I have never stopped to think about the transition from a world in which the bible was taken as a document of literal history to the present day acceptance of deep time – and I realized as I was reading that this shift was no less profound than the ideas of Copernicus when he posited that the earth wasn’t exactly the center of the universe as previously thought. This was what I was set to preface my introduction to Winchester’s work on….. until I opened up (Stephen J Gould’s book) Time’s Arrow and discovered that on the very first page, Gould eloquently sums up the enormity of this transition in saying:
Freud omitted one of the greatest steps from his list, the bridge between spatial limitation of human dominion (the Galilean revolution), and our physical union with all “lover creatures (the Darwinian revolution). He neglected the great temporal limitation imposed by geology upon human importance — the discovery of “deep time.” What could be more comforting, what more convenient for human domination than the traditional concept of a young earth, ruled by human will within days of its origin. How threatening, by contrast, the notion of an almost incomprehensible immensity, with human habitation restricted to a millimicrosecond at the very end!
Not only does the discovery of “deep time” challenge our notions of human importance, it opens up an even deeper theological problem, not to mention species crisis – the fact of extinction. In 1796, the French geologist George Cuvier published a paper establishing extinction of species as fact – which is where William Smith’s work pointed as well, since it was evident to him (and others around him) that the fossil layers he examined contained species that were no longer evident in existence.
This throws a bit of a wrench into the notion of divine intelligence or divine creation, unless you start making up hokey stories about God getting better or more experienced as he went along….. or take a catastrophist approach to the fossil layer and claim that volcanoes, earthquakes and floods are the reason the earth appears as old as it is. Those events mess up the fossil record after all. And those aren’t fossils anyway! As much as we might hope this had died out in Smith’s time, we know from the recent rise of fundamentalist religious movements that these ideas are still very much in play today.
All that aside, since I have the luxury of presenting on one of the last subjects of my course I wanted to bring the discussion around to the more existential problem of science – which is that with each discovery, establishment of a new set of facts, or theories (Higgs-bosun or recent announcements from the field of Astronomy that posit the closeness of habitable planets as examples) – humans seem to become smaller and less central to the drama unfolding around us.
Beginning with the philosopher Epicurus who (around 300 BCE) argued that the Gods controlled very little, but atoms were the physical stuff that made up our world and acted according to certain principles (swerving into one another and so forth) – we have been carried along through discoveries that bring us up to a much larger and more complex universe today. It seems that on the one hand human existence is diminished, but on the other we are enriched by freedom from superstition and the knowledge that to a large degree we are self-determined as opposed to being controlled from above. Or, at least we could be.
Because the other thought that occurred as I was reading Winchester’s book is that although we have some pretty compelling proof of deep time and extinction – William Smith and others laid it out 200 years ago – we are still living in a world in which huge swaths of humanity believe in a literal bible, or other theological teaching that refutes the basic science of our existence. Where many people still pray for divine intervention – whether that be God or the notion of collective consciousness (a la the secret) – to get what they want. No matter that we can clone, cure, travel to other planets, smash particles, and explain the history of the earth — we can not answer the question that most wants answering.
Science can explain the how of existence but not the why. And therein lies the truly incommensurable question, and I believe it’s also where our notion of what is “truth” falters and gives ground to religion and superstition. It’s the space in which nonsense about a mixed-up fossil record and God getting the hang of it slips in.
I think we’re into problematic territory wherein many of the concepts we are dealing with are incomprehensible to the human mind. We can’t understand deep time, nor can we truly envisage a planet without our presence even if we can rationally know it to have once been the case. We can understand that many Europeans have Neanderthal DNA, but it’s difficult to conceptualize a world in which more than one bipedal human-like species existed. Someone can explain how the Higgs-Bosun gives energy matter and why that’s important – but most of us can’t truly grasp the enormity of that information (I can’t – for example) even if we recognize it is an important discovery.
So – we are torn between two poles. On the one hand, we have the desire to imbue our lives with meaning and position ourselves as central to the drama unfolding around us. On the other, it is hard to turn away from the the existential truth of our species – which is that we are a mere blip on the historical record, and just as we emerged as a result of a random chemical reaction, we too will one day disappear from the planet.
Norbert Wiener sums it up thus:
To those of us who are aware of the extremely limited range of physical conditions under which the chemical reactions necessary to life as we know it can take place, it is a foregone conclusion that the lucky accident which permits the continuation of life in any form on this earth, even without restricting life to something like human life, is bound to come to a complete and disastrous end. Yet we may succeed in framing our values so that this temporary accident of living existence, and this much more temporary accident of human existence, may be taken as all-important positive values, notwithstanding their fugitive character.
In a very real sense we are shipwrecked passengers on a doomed planet. Yet even in a shipwreck, human decencies and human values do not necessarily vanish, and we must make the most of them. We shall go down, but let it be in a manner to which we may look forward as worthy of our dignity.
I would now turn to the questions for discussion:
Thomas Kuhn (Structure of Scientific Revolutions) says: ”A scientific theory is usually felt to be better than its predecessors not only in the sense that it is a better instrument for discovering and solving puzzles but also because it is somehow a better representation of what nature is really like. One often hears that successive theories grow ever closer to, or approximate more and more closely to, the truth. Apparently generalizations like that refer not to the puzzle-solutions and the concrete predictions derived from a theory but rather to its ontology, to the match, that is, between the entities with which the theory populates nature and what is “really there.”
Is this the fundamental problem in resolving ourselves away from a superstitious worldview? Is it that as Kuhn would have it – science does not determine truth – and thus requires a kind of faith not unlike religious faith?
Can we imagine a world without us? Does scientific discovery ultimately rob us of a fundamental assurance of our centrality and importance – or does it give us the potential for self-actualization?
Given the advancements in scientific understanding over the past two centuries, one might expect that the world dominated by religion would recede. Have we seen that? Is there a single proof that could alter the world any more than Copernicus or Smith et al?
The human inclination to place oneself at the centre of the universe has been chipped away at repeatedly – the heliocentric model and the discovery of deep time just being two examples: How has society answered this need in recent decades? Religion, superstition, the singularity, new thought? What is the role of science in delivering philosophy along with fact?
Overnight it has gone from winter to gardening season in Vancouver – or at least that’s how it seemed yesterday when the deluge of the previous week opened up to a blue sky and mild temperatures. This propelled me to the garden centre, already guilty about not getting the Fava beans in during February – I sure didn’t want to miss the window for potatoes!
And so the early spring madness – plant fever, muddy fingernails and mutterings about why I didn’t clean-up better in the fall – begins.
This year is probably my least-organized since I’ve been in the Urban Crow house. I didn’t order all my seeds in January, I have no idea what I’m putting in each box yet, and I’m thinking of switching at least one box from square-foot to keyhole with concentric circles coming off the compost feeder….. But what I have been figuring out all along is that no matter how meticulously I plan leading up to the season, I’m still pretty much just winging it once I get out there. That is, letting the garden, weather and my mood – lead me to what makes the most sense each time I’m in the muck. So no matter my planting charts, my timing and everything else – I still end up doing things somewhat haphazardly, and it mostly works well.
This year I’ve added three more potato bags to the mix – bringing them up to six bags of four plants each, and I’m thinking to rustle the basement for the remaining burlap bags I’m sure are down there to finish off the seed potatoes I’ve got. I also picked up three red tomato bags yesterday – the red supposedly helps the fruit to set and ripen, and I’ve decided that I really like bags over stiff planters for weight, flexibility and look. My potatoes did really well in their bags last year – and the material really held up super-well (it’s essentially tarp material – you could easily make these on your own for less expense than GardenWorks sells them, but I’m not looking for one more project at the moment).
I also turned the compost yesterday, and scooped about half the mess out for the potatoes. If I manage to get out today, I think the rest of it will be going to top-dress the garlic bed which is coming along nicely. (If you didn’t get your garlic in during autumn, you are right at the edge of the latest spring planting for it – so get going!)
And beside the peas and fava beans which went in their beds yesterday, I’m thinking this afternoon should focus on radishes and greens – plus turning and amending one more bed. Oh! And dahlias! I’ve got three new ones to plant after I uncover the flower bed from its winter mulch.
But of course, this is only if I can get my schoolwork done this morning so I’ve got a couple hours this afternoon – so I should go off and hopefully I’ll have some garden pictures to show tomorrow (instead of just the lovely view from upstairs this morning)…….