Last night/this morning, I laid down a row of foundation double-crochet to start a sweater for my dear B. Having now completed a first sweater for myself, I can conceptualize what goes into such a yarn-commitment and have decided that yes, definitely, my partner is definitely worth it!
But what about the sweater curse?
Those of you who don’t crochet or knit probably don’t know about the “sweater curse“. This particular piece of knit-lore maintains that starting a sweater for one’s significant other pretty much spells the end of the relationship. Some people say that this only applies to boyfriends, but others maintain it always applies, no matter the status of the relationship. Over at the wikipedia article I linked to above, there are several rationales provided that explain the real-world mechanics of what’s behind this belief. I tend to think that a lot of what has fueled the superstition – particularly where boyfriends are concerned – is that making a sweater for someone implies a certain level of commitment that the other person may not be ready for (and thus bails, before the sweater is finished).
In order to dispel myself of the myth in embarking upon this project, let’s look at the other reasons it might apply (and dispel them one-by-one).
- Unlucky timing. While it’s true that crocheting a sweater takes some time, I can’t imagine our relationship is on its way to doom in the next month. We’ve been together five years. Things are awesome. Brian will have his sweater by Christmas. All is good.
- Rescue mission. Nope, I do not subconsciously sense our marriage is over. It’s awesome all the time!
- Catalyst for analyzing the relationship. I think B and I spend a lot of time assessing our relationship already – and we both agree. It is awesome!
- Aversion. I was worried about whether B. would really want a handmade sweater, because not everyone likes hand”knits”, or wool garments. Turns out he is stupidly excited by the prospect of getting a sweater from me. And he’s not just faking either (I can tell).
- Misdirected attention. Our relationship is awesome! (Have I said that already?) I really do try to make sure that no matter how obsessive I am about making stuff, B. gets lots of my attention too. One of the reasons I want to make things for him is so he can have my attention in my “make” space as well as in other ways.
- Delusion. Nope. I don’t think for a second I’m deluded about our relationship. We’ve been together more than five years, we’re crazy about each other, and we work hard at making every day special for each other even after all this time.
- Limit of Human Gratitude. B. brings me coffee in bed every single morning. As far as I’m concerned, crocheting him a sweater barely touches that in terms of commitment level to another person.
Really, this is the first time I have made more than a scarf or small household object for B., and it feels like the right time. I’ve got some good crochet-skills going on, I have an idea of what would suit B., and I really want to make him something both practical and loving that is just for him.
So sweater curse? I think the awesomeness of my marriage mitigates the potential for sweater-making to damage our love. Fingers crossed, eh?