Red Cedar
More apocalypse, less angst
Post #1995: Workday obsessions
So yesterday, I went to the Doctor, because I am pretty sure that I have strep throat. And the reason I think this is because I get strep throat every three years or so – and the ailment I’ve got does *not* feel like a cold or the flu as it has no other symptoms except for a spotted, swollen throat (and left ear, of all things). But! She told me – grown-ups do not get strep throat, and also, I don’t have a fever so it can’t be. And! She said, because I have a cough, that’s a cold symptom so it must be viral. Unfortunately:
- I am a grown-up and I do get strep throat and so do other grown-ups I know;
- My regular Doctor told me for three years that I couldn’t possibly have a sinus infection because – no fever – and so I suffered, miserably until I got to a specialist who took a swab, and did a CAT Scan and was horrified at the state of the infection;
- I have a mild asthma that causes a cough with pretty much any illness, lack of sleep, stress, or over-exposure to perfumes.
She took a swab, and now I am waiting for the results, but in the meantime I picked up a “just in case” prescription for antibiotics and the swollen throat seems to be subsiding – the whole thing was somewhat frustrating. On the one hand, I fully recognize that over-prescription of antibiotics (and all drugs really) is a serious health problem in our culture. On the other, a quick look at my history would reveal that I take drugs for nothing, and my antibiotic use is rare (twice in the last five years).
A part of me really wants to the swab results to show that I have strep and therefore am right – while another part of me wishes that the results would be negative so I don’t have to take these pills which make me nauseated – and so I sit here at work refreshing the E-Health results screen over and over – waiting to find out which is so. Am I right? Or am I just getting better without the aid of the antibiotics I’m taking (which means I can stop)?
(And if you are wondering about today’s picture up top – my friend Rachel recently had pneumonia for a month and while she was sick, she did some macrame – including a plantholder for my birthday present. I put plants in it this weekend and I think it looks mighty fine by the bedroom window.)
Post # 1994: Spring Gardening
For today’s post I give you a photo of the weekend’s gardening efforts – a lot of deck cleanup and new plants!
Post #1993: April showers bring sore throats (and reading)
(The above photo is of our Easter Sunday brunch – scones, marmalade, hard boiled eggs and chocolate – and has nothing to do with this post).
I’m home today, in bed with a bit of a cold. Mostly it’s a sore throat, but there is a bit of general achey-ness thrown in as well and I’ve popped some ibuprofen to reduce my small misery to an even smaller one. On the one hand, I feel like a big faker calling in sick after a long weekend (but I’m not!) On the other, I don’t mind the prospect of a day spent slowly puttering – reading, writing, lying about – on my own. I’d rather not be sick at all, but I don’t mind the idea of having some extra time to myself either.
I’ve been on a bit of a reading binge lately – seemingly triggered by the official completion of my coursework for my Master’s degree. My final full class was last Monday, and all that’s left now is the party to celebrate the end of four years of work. I didn’t realize how much I’d cut back on my recreational reading until I finished my last “required” reading a couple of weeks ago (Crime and Punishment) – and found myself in McLeod’s secondhand books that very day eagerly perusing all the books that I have time to read now! Since then I’ve managed to down three books – all in the light reading category – and am working my way through another (slightly more rigorous). I’ve also started a notebook again, out of the blue, to record my thoughts, quotes from my readings, snippets and facts. I’ve periodically kept notebooks about general life, but not recently. Not in the last four years. It feels like a new practice again and I have no goals with it – just to pay attention to myself and my thoughts when it is convenient to do so.
There is nothing in particular which draws my most recent three reads together – except a compelling story in each of them perhaps (and the fact that two of them came out of my community free library) – but even so, I’ll record them here with a few-sentence impression in case you have been wondering about whether these are worth the time.
A Death on Diamond Mountain | Scott Carney : Engagingly written, this is a fast read about a Tibetan Buddhist organization in the United States that has bordered on cult-like behaviour. Scott Carney uses the object-lesson of a death at the edges of a retreat to examine the potential dangers of enlightenment-seeking with a western mentality and briefly discusses meditation and mental states. He gives all the players in the key story a balanced treatment, but I wish he had focused more on the psychology of seeking behaviours and how to cut against them while still following a spiritual path. Definitely worth a read. (for the precis version, check out this article.)
The Happiness Project | Gretchen Rubin : This one came out a few years ago – basically the author experiments with being in the now, putting on a happy face (fake it till you make it), becoming less critical and more grateful, and extending herself to more people and discovers that happiness, at least to some degree, *is* a choice. I concur with her conclusion (having been a life-long experimenter in some of the very same areas), but I didn’t find anything jaw-dropping in either her practices or her final results. Worthwhile if you are looking for ideas about how to infuse your life with a less negative outlook.
Gone Girl | Gilliam Flynn: Yes, this one is now a movie and was a bestseller a couple of years ago – so I’m late to the game – but it just showed up in the book box one day. Quick read, compelling narrative, smart take on the problem of the unreliable narrator in fiction. This one is just for fun and once my step-daughter finishes the book – we’ve got the movie ready to go.
The book I’m currently working on it Sarah Bakewell’s How to Live which is a biography of the 16th century essayist Montaigne posed in one question and twenty answers to illuminate various aspects of his life and philosophy. Even though Montaigne is the inventor of the personal essay, I probably wouldn’t be that interested in his biography, but I appreciate the way that Bakewell has framed this as an exercise in philosophical study and so I picked it up. I’ve also just pulled A General Theory of Love off the shelf for a re-read as I seem to remember some pretty fabulous conclusions in there that I feel like thinking about and perhaps writing about now that I am done with the school thing for the moment.
Post #1992: Being more human
I met with a fitness trainer on Tuesday – I’ve decided to bring some expertise and accountability to my workout and weight loss process and I figure that a little cheerleading doesn’t hurt either! As part of our introductory process, we did a postural assessment where I walked, stood, and squatted before the appraising eyes of the instructor (good thing both of us have a sense of humour or the whole thing would have been really embarrassing) – and then she pointed out my areas for correction. On the plus side, I have strong upper body carriage which is apparently unusual for desk/computer workers like myself. I chalk that up to daily meditation as it has made me much more aware of my posture. On the down side, when I am standing I roll my shoulders so that my palms are facing to my back and not my front. This is a common problem for those of us who sit at keyboards, because our hands are by necessity facing palms down for most of the day – but this isn’t the natural orientation of our shoulders! Having not given the mechanics of my body at rest and at work much thought – this has never really occurred to me – our shoulders are only really in neutral when our palms are facing out (up rather than down). If you have a tendency to sit or stand with your palms facing into your body, try turning them out right now with intention and you’ll feel your alignment improve immediately.
This morning I walked the six km to work (I’m aiming for 2 days of walking to work per week on my non-intense cardio days) – which is a great time to work on alignment and postural stuff . Although it felt a bit unnatural at first, I spent my walk with my palms turned outwards, thinking about how easy it is to accidentally program ourselves into contorted positions and habits that are generally bad for us – and while it’s not so simple to unprogram these behaviours, a little intention goes a long way.
I’m feeling really empowered around this at the moment because I have got myself back into the daily routines of exercise and healthy eating – bringing a lot more attention to these areas of my life in addition to the positive habit of meditation that I’ve cultivated over the last couple of years – and I am conscious of how much closer to human I feel when I start to shed the programmed behaviours and become more clear about my ability to step out of that programming and into another frame of being – in my body, community, neighbourhood, practice, household.
Just a small realization that I’m working to apply as I emerge from the winter and the cocoon of my body to a renewed self.
Post #1991: A thing I would like you to do (vote!)
Here is a little video of me and my husband making music on the Sunshine Coast back in February – just to entice you along…. but what I would like you to do is go to our CBC Searchlight page and have a listen to our song in the contest and then cast a vote for us. You can do that without logging in or anything if you just head over to here: http://music.cbc.ca/#!/artists/Lone-Crow-Jubilee and find the voting button on the right hand side underneath the “Searchlight Official Contestant” button. Giving us a thumbs up or liking us on FB is cool, but not necessary for voting. From there you can connect with our Facebook or Twitter accounts for regular band updates. You can vote every day if so inclined and maybe we’ll even spark the interest of our local CBC hosts!
Red Cedar 