Red Cedar
More apocalypse, less angst
homesickness
i am homesick for the city i haven’t lived in for over 10 years, which really begs the question of what home feels like anyways.
in part, it is because i am in the middle of an insomniac bout, and vancouver seems too large and populated and wet today. exhaustion thins my patience with the “message-factory” my workplace has become as we spoonfeed politicians soundbites the appease the public with. exhaustion makes the umbrellas moving above the sidewalks seem like an obstacle course of annoying colours and patterns, all impeding me from quick movement on my errands. exhaustion drives me to eat sugary things looking for a cheap high, despite the fact they make me sick to my stomach. all of which conspires to make me just a little bit miserable despite the fact it is payday.
but more than that off-kilter track, is the fact that ryefield, acquaintance of mine and close friend of my friends – is still in a coma which he has been now for 6 days (though apparently responded to voice yesterday by moving a little). my friend julia emailed me her blog address which she has been posting updates on, and from there i found the blogs of other friends from that way-long-ago-life in victoria – and there were pictures on them – some which i have taken in the last year – and despite the fact i have vowed never to return to live on vancouver island, i felt the unmistakeable tingling feeling of homesickness rising to the corners of my eyes as i wished that i was there, in a small city, curled up in the corner of an apartment in fernwood, with candles and incense and a small pot of coffee and a newspaper – and perhaps even a lover. it made me want to turn the corner down the street to enter the house where 4 or 5 people who know me would be, to smoke a cigarette on the porch and share a bottle of beer while whispering about fears and worries. it is what i miss about that place, those people ten years ago and now who imprinted on my as a teenager, and who always belong to me because of it.
i think i need to go for a visit to my friends in victoria soon, because i miss them like a warm bed on a rainy morning – and because every small tragedy calls me home. though each event makes home a different place because the people involved are different – obviously homesickness is about something much more rooted than place.
no trespass
taken at the local gravel mine, springs in a box:
to be discarded or used again?
a couple of days ago my friend anna called and told me that a mutual friend of ours had been hit by a car and was still unconscious in the hospital (it was going on 3 days when she told me).
he’s not someone i am particularly close to, though many of my friends are – but he is someone i enjoy intellectually an awful lot. i keep wondering if he has woken up yet, i have not heard anything since sunday and i’m worried that he won’t.
lawbreakers!
my friend richard wrote this letter – the point about who the real lawbreakers are here being pretty obvious.
“We can disagree on the laws that are passed, and we often do, but the foundation of our society is that once a law is passed, that we agree to obey it. We do not get to obey the laws that we like and disobey the laws that we don’t like, and that is the central issue here.”
Gordon Campbell October 17th, 2005.
Dear Mr. Campbell,
I find it appalling that your Government so flipantly states that teachers should abide the law, when your Government continues to flaunt the law. The Supreme Court of BC found your Government broke the law with regards to class size limits on February 18th, 2005 with Justice Shaw presiding.
Your Government-appointed Arbitrator, Eric Rice’s “closed eyed” stripping of our collective agreement was also ruled against the law by the BC Supreme Court on January 22, 2004. The Judge presiding cited, such, “fundamental errors of law” as to make the whole bargaining
process a sham.
Your Government has such high esteem for the law that you choose to disregard International law. “The ILO ruled that the BC Liberal law declaring education an “essential service” should be repealed. The ruling also called on the government to open talks with the BCTF to negotiate an agreement and to refrain from imposing settlements in the future.”
Futhermore, on a more personal note Mr. Campbell, you have such personal high esteem for the law that you drove drunk and were convicted of a criminal offence on January 10th, 2003 in Hawaii. “Anyone who drives while impaired to the level he was should be ashamed and embarrassed and afraid.” District Judgel Reinette Cooper.
My Campbell, I ask your Government to do the just thing and repeal Bill 12, open meaningful and productive negotiations with the BCTF and start abiding the law.
Yours,
Richard Biel
the tao of motion
something clicked for me today when i was working with the kickboard during my lunch-hour swim – through a combination of meditating on the motion, and watching another swimmer – i actually *understood* the hip/leg motion i was aiming for physically rather than intellectually for a change. perhaps that doesn’t make a lot of sense – but there is a big difference between understanding what you are supposed to do, and actually being able to do it without too much thinking.
it was definitely a moment of effortless resistance – or something like wu wei anyhow…. very good, apparently meditation in motion extends beyond qi gong…. and my swimming is improving for it.
i haven’t been to the gym since last week owing to a two-day trip to nanaimo, thurs-fri, for union business, which was somewhat uneventful except that i was elected as a delegate to the bcfed convention at the end of november. should be interesting given the labour uprising that is being quelled by the fed as we speak – i have just heard that vince ready is now formally involved in mediating the teacher-government dispute… so we will see what comes of that.
despite the intermittent showers over the weekend, i managed to get in a hike with my friend steve on saturday morning that went a lot longer than intended (we bush-whacked along chapman creek and then tried to follow logging roads back to where the car was parked but ended up several km away from where we started owing to the fact we couldn’t find a way to cut across the open pit mine in between our starting place and us). got home in time for a short nap and shower and then trekked into vancouver to see the cat empire play at richards on richards.
now those of you who are familiar with the vancouver music scene will know that van is a city known for its unresponsive crowds – but there was none of that to be had on saturday night as the cat empire ripped up the stage with 2 and a half hours of hot dance tunes comprised from an amazing repetoire of genres. i knew this band would be good live, but i didn’t really know how good they would be – it was definitely worth the trip into the city – and the sold-out crowd was dancing like crazy people for the whole set. after the show, i went with the folks i was dancing with down to the lamplighter pub to see another couple of friends put on a short set and drink a couple of beers before ending up at giles and darcie’s place socializing with folks there.
sunday i woke up sore from my hips to my ankles from the combination of hike/dancing – hung out with the children of darcie and giles and then headed back to the sunshine coast to make a vegan gourmet feast for my friend david (tofu-leek savoury tart, roasted red pepper and carrot soup, bitter greens with red peppers roasted and marinated in balsamic vinegar and applesauce with vanilla soy-ice-cream and toasted walnuts for dessert) – in honour of it being the first time he has come to my new house. we had a very nice visit and it was a great excuse to do all sorts of fancy cooking like i never get to do anymore. i think i should have dinner parties again or something, i really like feeding people fancy food.
yesterday i stayed home from work because i was feeling tired and not so well (sore throatish) which seemed to indicate i might be coming down with something but really i think might have just been over-exhaustion. i ran a couple small errands, and made a few phone calls but mostly just hung out and watched movies and worked on the cross-stitch i have been doing for ages – i really think just doing nothing and eating gourmet left-overs was about the best thing i could have chosen to do – though i still felt super rundown this morning.
everything here has been pretty normal today except that one of my fellow-commuters asked me on something that has a remarkable resemblance to a date, but could be construed as just two people hanging out as well. i’m feeling pretty cautious about this one, he had a partner until very recently and she has just returned to her home country to go to school…. i don’t want to make any mis-steps in a community as small as ours – but i did agree to go check out the show he invited me to since i know the musician and i’m interested in the “new” venue in roberts creek (and quite frankly, i am usually flattered when people are interested in me, even when it’s not romantic).
can't you come up with a better argument than that?
it’s disingenuous for education minister shirley bond to suggest that because the teacher strike vote (of 90.5% in favour of defying bill 12 and staying out on strike) was only cast by 50% of the members, the result is not legitimate (and thus scabbing should be supported) – when she (and everyone) knows full well that the us president is elected with voter turn-outs of 50% and less, and canadian voter turn-out is only marginally better. by her logic, if the results of the bctf strike vote are not legitimate, than neither are the provincial and federal governments (and hey, i would concede labour legitimacy if it meant getting the corporate-lackey crowd out of the legislature).
Red Cedar 