Red Cedar
More apocalypse, less angst
Present.
Have I mentioned recently how fucking brilliant the Kronos Quartet is? No, really – if you don’t listen to them in all their glorious weirdness – you really should. I’m listening to Howl USA which was released in 2005 and is an incredible mix of old spoken word and new music. Incredible and paranoia-inducing (specially the J. Edgar Hoover piece)…. and the Cold War Suite is beautiful in historical lessons.
I mostly wanted to post to let everyone know that hey! I’m okay… and have had a few days of visitors and hometime which has been really great. I’m working tomorrow and Thursday but that’s it this week – which makes for at least a bit of the break I’ve been needing. I found a job posting online today at the University of Victoria which I am super-qualified for and wrote a cover letter to go with the resume I have to reformat tomorrow. Although I would prefer to stay with the federal government for some reasons – there is a part of me right now ready to throw all the cards up to the air at once to see what happens – so we’ll just see if I get an interview before worrying about having to make a choice.
I’m in an interesting space right now, feeling simultaneously confused and confident. What next? We’ll see.
One step and then another.
I’m feeling better today than I have in ages – not entirely on the other side of things – but definitely more balanced than I have been. My friend Will has agreed to take my place for November 1st and will be sharing the space with me from September until I move out which means I’ve got to get focused now on reorganizing the downstairs part of my house and turning my enclosed carport into a storage locker of sorts. I still have no idea what city I am moving to, but I don’t really care at this point as packing up my house has to start happening by the end of this month in any event. Having a friend move in and take over my place as I transition out makes things *way* easier even though I’ve got to get some stuff done a little quicker than I would otherwise.
Beyond that – I’ve got friends coming this weekend and next, and am staying in town tonight to go the Prisoners’ Justice Day event at Trout Lake and then out for dinner with a union friend all of which I’m looking forward to.
I’ve really appreciated all the feedback and calls over the last few days from people – I’m feeling a lot better about the decisions that I’m making cause I’ve been so overwhelmingly supported. There is a woman I work with who is going through a similar thing (she lives in Squamish and her commute is killing her and she wants to try working out of Nanaimo etc. etc.) – somehow hearing that today made me feel less like a flake and more like other people… As in, fuck, none of us are perfect! I’m definitely not as antsy or overwhelmed today – but I also can feel in the back of my ribcage that I am easily triggered at the moment so I’m trying to be careful about what I think about.
I’m glad I decided to take extra time off and cancel all travel plans this month. I really do need the rest.
Prisoners' Justice Day
I wanted to remind everyone that August 10th is Prisoners’ Justice Day – an internationally-observed day started some decades ago by the tireless Canadian prison-abolitionist Claire Culhane. Prisoners’ Justice Day is the day prisoners have set aside as a day to fast and refuse to work in a show of solidarity with those who have died unnecessarily — victims of murder, suicide and neglect inside the cruel fortresses of power that masquerade as centres for “rehabilitation”.
Prisoners’ Justice Day is not just an observance for political prisoners, but for all men and women caught within the walls of class, race and gender – for all of those who have ended their journey inside a cage – a day when we in the community hold demonstrations, vigils, spiritual services and other events in solidarity with those who are trapped inside.
I would encourage people to take part in any Prisoners’ Justice Day events in your community, and additionally take some time to:
- Write a letter to a prisoner you know, or even one you don’t know – there are lots of prison pen-pal sites online and if you prefer to spend your energy on a political prisoner, there are many lists out there (International Earth/Animal Lib Prisoners are listed here – other political prisoners in the US at the prison activist.
- Write a letter to your congressperson or Member of Parliament demanding better HIV/AIDS education, prevention and treatment in prisons. This is one of the major killers in prison and completely preventable.
- Donate to one of the many Prisoner Support organizations in your community – Joint Effort, Books to Prisoners, Anarchist Black Cross, etc.
- Write a letter in support of Leonard Peltier, Mumia Abu-Jamal, or any other political prisoner currently being held for their beliefs.
- Get together with other family and friends who are affected by the prison system due to the incarceration of loved ones, hold a vigil or a study session on prison-abolition.
- Donate some money to a prisoner’s commisary fund, or legal fund.
- Write a letter to your local newspaper about prison issues, conditions, or prisoner rights.These all seem like such small and almost-insignificant things – but not only do they let our prisoner-friends and family know that we are out here for them – each action helps to break down the shame and stigma of prison forced onto all of us who have loved ones on the inside. We are not ashamed of those we know in prison, but we should be ashamed to live in a society which can not come up with more creative and humane options in dealing with our issues.
A better world is possible,
M.
Telepathically shaping my future.
Last night my Dad told me to try using telepathy on my boss to get him to agree to letting me work in Victoria. Telepathy! My family cracks me up sometimes. He also told me that they would lend me a downpayment for a new place – which I know my Mom will hit the roof when she hears (for the record, they have never leant me money – these things are a big headache in my family) – but I guess he thinks that would be some added incentive to move back. It’s not really, I don’t care if I have to rent for the rest of my life (or at least until I sell my place on the Sunshine Coast) – it’s not what this move is about. But it’s nice that they want me back there – I have heard from two other friends in Victoria as well who have said nice things about having me there as well.
I’m feeling a bit crazy, melancholy, and anxious – but not nearly as tragic. I swam in the ocean on Sunday and Monday, hung out with David in Roberts Creek, and got chores around the house done – and all of those things helped to ease me out of the end of the world state I was in on Saturday morning. Fortunately. All the emails and comments also helped me a lot – so thanks people – I really needed that.
I’ve decided that I’m not going anywhere this month owing to all plans seeming too complex at the moment. I’ve got friends and family visiting through until the end of August at this point, and a few extra days off that I intend to use for relaxing, swimming and visiting (oh yeah, and decluttering my house, I need to pare down my belongings significantly before I move).
Now, if I could just figure out how I’m going to pull off this move to Victoria (aside from the telepathy I’m practicing on my boss) – I can start actualizing the details… If not Victoria, it will be Vancouver for a few months. In any case, I’m renting out my place for November 1st. If there are any interested folks out there, please let me know. I’ll be announcing that more formally in short order.
Distraction.
Don’t ask me why, but I have a tendency to make stuff when I’m at the lowest of my low. I started this little pillow on Friday night and just finished it today. It’s just a silly little thing – but the first time I’ve every freehand worked with any sewing project, and the first time I’ve worked with felted wool (and it was lots of fun, and now I’ve got more ideas for similar folk art projects like this one).
Red Cedar 