Red Cedar

Some of you may have noticed that while I was away in Ottawa (still am) dealing with union, my blog got “owned” by some l337 kidz outta England (or at least bounced out from there). Thanks to EastVanHalen for pointing it out to the collective and to Firetrap for the WordPress upgrade and dealing since I was in the middle of writing a speech when I discovered it and didn’t have the head to change passwords and fiddle. The post is now down, but I must record this comment Haymarketeer made on the post itself since it made me laugh when I found it today: “oh, uncle sam… how behind the times. you should really consider upgrading to 1337sp34k v 2.0”. Heh.

Anyhow. Hopefully we’re fixed.

I am just inside recovering from the cold that is Ottawa at the moment (was at a demo earlier and nearly killed my poor little toes which were not shod properly for the weather) – but I wanted to let you all know that I won my election this morning and am now a proud member of my collective bargaining team which will negotiate the contract for 75,000 people across Canada starting pretty damned soon. The commitment is for about 18 months, so expect to hear lots  more about Ottawa until it’s done.

I won’t bore you with too many details, but in case you care – the race was tight and there were two factions that formed inside the candidates that got quite nasty. I ended up running head to head against the other person who was out from BC, who I’m not overly fond of for a host of reasons (mostly cause she’s been both smug and cold to me). She was pretty sure she had the election sown up, but I managed to swing an extra vote my way – on the merit of being a much stronger candidate. Although I hate to gloat, the look on her face was priceless when the results were  announced – unbelievably mad. She wouldn’t shake my hand later when I offered her a congrats on the race. Meh.

The worst thing about the factionalizing was that neither side had the best set of candidates overall – but alliances were drawn for purely strategic reasons – which doesn’t really benefit anyone in the end. The race ended up breaking down the two camps and both sides got people on the team – which was my best case scenario. I think I’ll be able to deal with these people, but I don’t see any immediately obvious friendships. I guess I have to approach this a lot more like work, and hopefully I can build on my limited social network in Ottawa to get me by. Will definitely have to get a lover out here or something to pass the time – since bargaining involves a lot of waiting around.

So I’m pleased, and a bit nervous about the amount of work and stress I’ve just taken on.  If I ultimately want a career in the union, this is the best step I can take – and of course, I complain, but I like to be in the thick of things too.

Sometimes I feel like Rob D. is my personal bearer of bad news – no insult to him! But I swear he has been the phone call informing me of the deaths of many people over the years… Last night being another.

From the old Victoria punk scene, Jason Brown passed away yesterday morning after a several-year battle with cancer (I think it was Hodgkins, though I’m not entirely sure). I haven’t seen him since he was diagnosed, though I had heard of his struggle so the death was not entirely a shock. Jason, like many of the punk brothers was his own special mix of misogyny and charisma, tolerated in part because of his open smile and quick comraderie. Although I will not say we were ever close, he was a good friend to me way back in the days when he played in a band with one of my boyfriends and we all spent a lot of time together traveling back and forth to shows and stuff. He was good for an ear when he wasn’t pounding on Lettuce for showing up late to rehearsals really really drunk.

That was 16 years ago, and I’ve long since stopped going to punk rock funerals.

As is often the case when Rob calls me to chat about the most recent passing, we did a little reminiscing on the phone last night – recalling the last punk rock funeral I went to eight years ago. Our friend Noel Raynor was buried then among the half-junked out crowd, the evening was crowned by some really messy drinking/crying/fighting bouts at Bon’s that culminated in confrontation with Noel’s parents over the paternity of a child. I mean, you could make a whole movie about just that funeral it was so punk rock.

But as I said to Rob last night, I’m not sure it’s really healthy for all of us to get together like that because as much fun as those days were, they were also hella traumatizing. When you get too many of us in a room together it’s like tearing open a wound you were tending to heal…. And of course the death of one more of us just makes it worse. Of course Jason’s death is different in that he went to illness rather than accident, suicide or overdose. It doesn’t make me any less sad both for the loss of another, but also for the fucked up lives we were living back then. When I flip through the old photo albums, I now can see how young we were and it frightens me a little.

Sometimes I can’t quite believe the things that happened, they seem so far removed from my life right now – but then another old friend dies – and it all comes racing back at me. And I’m laughing at it with NoMeansNo or Big Black blasting out of the stereo…. Or I’m angry all over again. And I’m not sure that it really matters which.

Just had a meeting canceled, opening up a brief window for blog posting on this foggy Monday morning. Listening to Sufjan Stevens and feeling the curious nostalgia that his music brings on. I’ve been behaving like a bit of a music addict lately and am finding great comfort on the loveseat between my two main stereo speakers. A sweet spot indeed for letting the music run up one side and down the other – If I turn it up loud enough I lose myself there – a new room every time. Like sex and drinking – distraction from the big real. In need of.

This weekend was odd in many respects and I am emerging from it with renewed respect for my weird little life. I’m out to Ottawa on Wed morning so the next two days will be low-key as I prepare myself for what’s coming. Overall I think I’m sorted out, and I did have a good time dancing with Jeremy and friends on Friday night (though by the end of 2+ hours of dancing on a hazy dancefloor, we were all a little too tranced-out). I had a date on Saturday that was a bust (he wore white running shoes, voted Tory in the last election and beyond that had almost no charisma), and so ended up way over-drinking at the WISE with Steph until closing. Sheesh! Enough of that! At least I wasn’t outrageously hungover or anything Sunday. Just mildly depressed – and the yellow curry with peanut sauce at the Me Kong fixed that.

My plan for Ottawa is to go dry for the duration of the conference and the election. Increasingly I have found this to be a better tactic during elections that count – as even 2 drinks affect my ability to sleep and be functional the next day on top of jetlag and altered eating patterns. Oy, I’m not looking forward to one more flight east at the moment – and I don’t have the clothing for Ottawa in February – but I’ve got myself committed thus far and now I have to complete this cycle win or lose. (And for the record, I have no prediction on the outcome but I know what I have to do to stand a chance).

I’m starting to receive draft letters for Darren’s sentencing from people and I’m hoping there are more of you out there planning to write! We’d like to get these in by the end of February so please talk to me if you would like to see some samples or get more ideas of what to say. My letter is almost finished (needs a little tweaking) and I’m happy to share it with those of you need a little inspiration. I am still trying to figure out whether I’m going to Eugene for the hearing alone or not. If my friend I’ve asked says no, then it looks like I will steel myself for going solo – I’ve certainly done difficult trips on my own before and when I let myself stand up straight I can be pretty tough. We’ll see. It’s still two and a half months away.

Woot! Just booked my flight to LA on Aeroplan miles. I knew all those trips east would pay off somehow 🙂 But it’s official: I’m taking a holiday. Ack!