Red Cedar

Despite my inability to focus for the past couple of days (and my low work-output for the week), I’m feeling pretty good at the moment. For those of you who aren’t on my tribe, I should point you to the photos I took last Saturday in Victoria which are posted on my flickr account under the People-Victoria album. The colour is much truer on a Mac (as usual – what is it with colour correction on PC monitors?).

I have a ton of writing crammed up in my head at the moment, but been having trouble finding the time to put pen to paper in the midst of work and social and political life. In a way, the upcoming trip to Ottawa feels like a bit of a respite as my evenings will be largely free – so perhaps I’ll get myself caught up while I’m there. I’m also going to start taking my camera on these trips as the weather warms up and hopefully find some time to practice in the evenings. I have been besotted with HDR techniques lately and think the Parliament buildings would make an excellent subject to experiment with. I’m also working on a birthday present for Darren which consists of photos of East Van since he’s pining to return at the moment.

Last night I went to the CCPA fundraiser where Naomi Klein was speaking – my union is a supporter and thus bought some tickets to the sold-out event. Talk about a packed house – I saw most of the labour folks I know and ran into people I haven’t seen for years. And of course Naomi’s talk about the rise of disaster capitalism was excellent. Mostly though, I was glad to go and see that at least there is some left alive here and that we are still coming together to support our institutions even in the face of the Campbells and Harpers of the country. No – it’s not radical – but it’s people talking to each other, and doing the work of upholding basic civil society institutions, and making sure that kids get educated and sick people get health care, and that workers still have rights.  And it’s good to go sit in a room with those people once and awhile because it reminds me that our work is not only relevant but essential.

This morning the national news is leading with the story of the Supreme Court striking down the security certificate process in Canada as unconstitutional. The unanimous decision will bring an end to the secret courts and illegal/indefinite detainments of suspected “terrorists” unless the government re-writes the law (and I highly doubt any re-writing of the law will pass Charter scrutiny in any case). While the mere fact that this country allowed such a law into place is an embarassment, it is heartening in a small way that we’ve come to our senses. Or at least our courts saw right through it. No wonder Harper is trying to exercise more control over judicial selection.

It is scary, this world and where it’s going, and every day I struggle a bit with this reality – sometimes more than others. I don’t think though that it’s naive to find small hope over reforms or wins – and I’m trying to cultivate that where it appears.

You can’t even put together a simple blog post!

I go through definite cycles of productivity over the 28 days of my cycle and this week happens to be one of my lower points. Seems that the weeks leading up to and during my period, I’m hyper-focused and get lots done, the week following is always a physical relief, but also a little intellectual let-down. Go figure. I am supposed to be working on an “opportunity analysis” right now which I can not keep my mind on for more than 30 seconds at a time before I’m checking email or text messages. Problem is, I have some *real* things to deliver before I leave for Ottawa again on Sunday.

Everything is under control, my mind is just running a bit amok. Once I sift it down again, more cogent writing will end up in this spot I’m sure.

Oh poor me, I wrote the other day – and then an hour later I rebooked my ticket to LA in defiance of my own self-pity. I had to change the dates around and cross my fingers that my friends would be available – but I managed to get a ticket on my aeroplan points for March 8th-13th. I think I’ll do some hybrid desert trip and the Salton Sea is definitely on the agenda with one of the friends so I should pretty much fly into LA and then leave the next day for the desert, returning straight to the airport out on the Tuesday night.

But Wednesday did get better, and I got rid of the rest of my angst at the My Bloody Ex-Valentine Cabaret put on by Team Satan at the Ukranian Hall. What an awesome event! Best party I’ve been to in forever. In four hours I managed to play several rounds of blackjack, get a very public spanking from an old friend in the bawdy house, drink several gin and tonics, watch some excellent burlesque acts, and have my tea leaves read. If that isn’t a better way to spend valentine’s day than romance, I don’t know what is 🙂 Everyone looked fabulous, and the organizing team did a phenomenal job at pulling it all together. More parties like that please!

Thursday night I was in Courtenay for a union meeting overnight and I flew home yesterday to have a pretty relaxing afternoon and evening. Got a bit of Resist! work done last night and ate Chinese food with the 3 of the other M’s from the collective. Realized that my perpetual motion keeps me from feeling tired, but really I probably should take a bit more rest from time to time as I came very close to passing out, computer in lap, at one point in the evening.

I’m off to Victoria this afternoon I believe, on a spur of a moment trip to partake in a friend’s birthday, with the intention to be home early tomorrow afternoon. Just have to decide whether to bring my fiddle or not.

I swear the universe does not want me to take a holiday ever. For a year and a half I have been trying to schedule holidays unsuccessfully. I have made plans and either broken them or had them broken on me at least 3 times. Finally I thought I would go to LA at the end of this month only to have my union tell me that I have to be back in Ottawa during the same week. At least Aeroplan gave me back my points without a charge today. But now I’m having trouble rescheduling due to a combination of factors – availability of flights, my friend’s schedule and the fact I believe spring break is happening mid-March (or something that has screwed up the ability to get seats).

I am bummed out about it. I feel like a flake cause I keep changing my plans and it’s stressing me out. It’s unfuckingbelievable to me that I have 5 weeks of holidays in my vacation-bank, and 30,000 Aeroplan points and I still can’t seem to make it all come together to do something.

*breathe*

In any event, I’m making one last attempt to reschedule today and if it doesn’t work I’m still taking a week off in March. I don’t know what I’ll do with it but I don’t think it matters at this point. Maybe I’ll just drive up to the hotsprings and sleep in the woods for a few days. But I need the time off before I crack up.

Okay. Communal dinner on the 22nd canceled. I have a union function I am expected to attend.

Apologies. We’ll try for March.