Red Cedar

I woke up this morning unable to hear out of one of my ears. Which has been known to happen before, because sometimes my ear canals just get blocked with *ahem* gunk. Perhaps three times before now, not very often. The first time it happened I was in university and it turned into a bad ear infection, but I’ve not had that happen since. Even when you can identify the root problem, it is still pretty disturbing to wake up without most of your hearing. You would think if only one ear was sealed then you would have 50% of your hearing, but I estimate that I really only had about 20% this morning. Meaning, everything was muffled as though I had a double helping of ear plugs and a head injury at the same time. Like not being able to focus your eyes, like being underwater.

Worse still, I’m staying downtown in a hotel for union meetings and so don’t have my normal at-home cupboard of pharmaceutical supplies which meant I had to get up right away and run to the closest drug store before my meeting started. There was simply no point in attending anything until I was able to hear again. I think perhaps this was the most acute experience of temporary hearing loss I have ever had as not only was I basically deaf, but then I had to go and run an errand that involved navigating transactions (the pharmacy then morning coffee) and walking several blocks.

And I’m sure you are thinking, “how would the fact you couldn’t hear make walking to the drug store that much harder?” – but you would be surprised at how much your hearing directs navigation not to mention the overwhelming confidence issues when you’ve suddenly lost one of your major senses. I’m sure if this was a permanent affliction, I would adjust – it’s just what people do – but in my first flailing hour this morning I sure didn’t feel up to the task.

On the other hand, even with impaired hearing I was able to do what I needed to. I was able to dress, walk to the store, find the ear syringe I needed, get coffee, help a confused fellow out in the coffee shop, and finally take care of my poor stopped-up ear. If I had woken up blind – that wouldn’t have been the case. Not only would it be that much more horrifying because I have never experienced a temporary loss of sight before, I would have been able to do little more than stumble around in the unformed dark, perhaps managing to dial the hotel operator for help. Who ever thinks that for no immediately apparent reason you could just wake up without the ability to walk or talk or hear or see? But it happens. Bell’s Palsy, Multiple Sclerosis, strokes, aneurysms…. viruses even.

It’s a shudder isn’t it? The quickness with which “normal” life can turn into something else. But at least I am hearing fine now.

I’m all talked out at the moment, though I still have so much more to say.

Here is a picture of grass instead. I’m going to have a bath and read a book.

A day for show and sharing online media I’ve found and enjoyed recently.

• Yes. It’s strange. But the Chemical Brothers released a song called the Salmon Dance in September which made me all giddy. Rapping about salmon. Unfortunately this video is a bit stupid, because there isn’t a single salmon in it! But I wanted to share the song anyhow. Keep in mind that salmon don’t turn red *after* they spawn – but since CB aren’t marine biologists I guess we can let that slide.
• That beautiful piece of artwork up above is from a slide show titled New York Without Us posted to the website for the book The World Without Us. I don’t care if it makes me a bit of a Malthusian, pictures like these make me feel a whole lot better about the future.
• These photos by Marc Adams are some of the most beautiful photographs of water I have ever seen.
• Some of you may remember that I have long wanted to do the communal living thing… and recently I’ve developed a small obsession for container houses. This 12-container house answers both questions – and I can only imagine that something like this would be relatively cheap to diy. At least I’d like to think so. (By the way, I hate this website for so many reasons, not the least of which being the audio commentary that won’t turn off).
• In case you missed it, Radiohead has released a pay-what-you-want version of their new album In Rainbows online as of last week. I like Radiohead a great deal but so far nothing on this album has really caught my attention. I expect something will catch eventually, it’s the way Radiohead works on me.
• And, uh, this is one one of the cutest sexy things I’ve seen in a long time. But maybe that’s just because I’m a musician, or I’m already in a good mood today.

Yesterday was on the verge of tears, feeling dis-empowered by interactions at work and with friends alike. I’m not sure if it was just exhaustion from my whirlwind trip on the weekend, or something else. But today, even with the grey, I am better again and instead of me complaining about the wretchedness of everything to my boss in Ottawa, he called me today to return yesterday’s favour. Today is his bad day. At the end of the call he said, “isn’t it good we can do this for each other?” Indeed, it is good to have a manager who understands bad days, and doesn’t pretend otherwise. Not to mention, he struggles with people having authority over him too, so we relate.

But I had French class last night, and then a date – and both things put me in a better frame of mind. The French class was amusing and the date was relaxed and really enjoyable even though I was exhausted. I woke up this morning and got excited by the peculiar light shining the buildings downtown gold and silver so I photographed my way to Uprising bakery for a muffin and Americano before returning home to work. I watercolourized one of those pictures in Photoshop and liked it so much I’m using it as my desktop picture right now. You can see it here.

It’s been productive today, and I’ve managed to get a big chunk of work almost finished. Once I get some input, I will be well on my way to completion and then can move on to the next big bit. I used to hate working from home because of the silence factor, but I find on this project that I need it otherwise I am next to useless. Really, I need four-hour stretches in which no one talks to me, otherwise the distraction totally destroys my ability to pick up again where I left off. My boss in Ottawa doesn’t care where I work, to him I’m just a voice on the phone or an email anyway. As long as he can get ahold of me during working hours where I say I am (at home, at the office) he’s satisfied that I’m working.

One thing I’ve been trying to decide about is where to go for holidays in January with my friend Aaron. We have a routine of doing an annual trip to the desert and yesterday I was thinking about that a bit. Arizona? New Mexico? Utah? I really would like to do the Moab, but not this year since Aaron and I will meet in LA (where he lives) and Utah would be a bit of a drive, as would NM. After some google image searches and a few forays into desert-hiking sites, I think I’ve settled on the Arizona side of the Sonora desert. It’s the hottest desert in the United States and it’s massive. Plus, it has flora and fauna different than the other deserts I’ve visited. I’m going to do a bit more poking about before I declare my final interest and dates to my friend, but I’m exciting for the hiking and the photographing already!

I’m up to it in meetings through the weekend, though at least I will be in Vancouver for them this time. Trips are getting rescheduled and postponed – though I am still due to fly out again on the 29th for 10 days in Ottawa. I’m hoping after that there will be nothing until Christmas (that is, I hope my canceled trips stay canceled!) because September and October have been way too hectic. Even for me!

Working from home today, I went to grab a coffee and noticed that with the grey clouds overhead, and the sun coming in through a break at the right angle from the east – the city looked like it was made of silver and gold. Had to grab the camera then. (The light is not coming out of the buildings, it is reflected on the buildings).