Red Cedar

Interestingly enough, I’ve noticed my workplace web filter is suddenly blocking reverb10.com because “The Websense category “Sex” is filtered” which is bizarre beyond belief. I’m not sure if I should complain to IT because I know they don’t put the website addresses in, it’s done by the company running the filter software. Irksome, but not the end of the world. Hopefully it gets ironed out soon.

In any case, I get the prompts by email so I’m not at a loss for what today’s writing is about – the prompt being: Beautifully different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.

Good question – eh? I mean, we all know I’m a bit “different” but what exactly is it that makes me so? And are any of us really so different from one another? What is the standard by which we are considered “different”? In opposition to what? Entirely subjective, I suppose. Just like what is beautiful.

But if I were to enumerate that which I think sets me apart?

• I’m in love with the world a little bit all the time. Not entirely and  unreservedly, but I always try to find the parts of it I can love – the forests, literature, gardens, rainstorms and music that set my heart free from the difficulties the world also presents.
• I value hands-on arts and skills in myself and others which has lead to a home full of art made by people I know (paintings, photos, carvings), with my own approach to additions and arrangement.
• I am willing to try myself against new projects or ideas, even if at first I can’t wrap my head around how to think about or act on them. This requires a self-confidence I never had in my early twenties, and is something I’m quite proud of now.
• I have wide-ranging interests – literature, art, politics, writing, gardening, sewing, evolutionary biology, government policy, insects, cooking, philosophy, fisheries, theology, music, psychology, healing, community-building – which gives me the opportunity to talk to pretty much anyone I come across and to connect with all different sorts.
• I am an extrovert who is just as happy staying at home alone. I have learned the skill of aloneness and I cherish it more than any other attribute.
• I am not afraid to do the work of living.

Do these things make me beautiful? What I do know is they are the things I am most proud of, and they are the things that set me apart from other people I know. At root I want to expand all aspects of myself to encompass all the good the world has to offer even if some bad gets inside with that. When I encounter beauty in others, it’s always related to that – openness to the world and all the ideas and permutations of it. That doesn’t mean agreeing with everything, or accepting that the worst of it has to exist… but it does mean shedding cynicism which is something I’ve spent the last ten years working on. And I think that does make me a more beautiful person, and increasingly different in a society marked by discouragement and distrust.

As a social justice and enviro actvist, community-building has been core to my work for more than two decades. Community in the sense of “like-minded people” mostly, community in the sense of that which sustains those of us outsiders to the mainstream when the going gets tough. A community built in tandem with temporary spaces of resistance, alongside meals cooked group-fashion, in opposition to that who we did not want to be. That is – everyone else.

But almost five years ago now, a fairly cataclysmic event took place amongst a segment of my community, when a number of close friends went to jail in the United States for breaking the law in service to that resistance. The fall0ut from that continues to impact my life in ways I could not have imagined when I read the first newswire report of two activists arrested in Eugene, Oregon – but most clear to me is how much my sense of community has changed as a result. Part of that change involves some reflection on the importance of physical community – that is neighbours and co-workers – both in creating supportive space, but also in solidifying the foundations for social change.

In the last year, Brian and I were lucky to be invited to join a nascent neighbours group in our new neighbourhood. We call ourselves Sunrise Commons – in deference to Hastings-Sunrise, and to the fact that we are seeking ways to create more shared space and ideas amongst those of us who live in our nine square blocks. We are a funny little group – a few households comprised of teachers, small business owners, counselors, labourers, drug policy researchers, bureaucrats, film industry workers, trade unionists and the like. None of sharing exactly the same set of ideas, but all of us wanting to make space for a little more friendliness, safer space, and more ecological awareness in our corner of East Vancouver.

Together, we have managed to wrangle some money for boulevard gardening and an awesome block party that took place in August – but mostly the benefit of the group has been in getting to know more people in the neighbourhood, and giving each other a place to come with a grievance or an issue we want to work on. It’s all very in its formation stages at the moment – so who knows where it will go as a group…. But for me it has really helped to deepen my connection to the households around ours, and when it comes to municipal issues (and grants), it is these physical neighbourhood “communities” that matter at city hall.

In the next year I would like to keep working on my neighbourhood ties, and find ways of increasing community through food growing – whether in a community garden setting, or just in our own backyards. I really understand community best as a function of sharing work (and the resultant leisure), and finding ways to work and dream together is the stuff that makes us whole as a society.

Over at Among the Weeds I have been posting pretty regularly about the various things I have been making. Jams, table napkins, heart mobiles, curtains… it’s been an autumn of sewing, cooking and canning in between union meetings…. and I’m feeling downright happy about making the time for such craftiness. Productivity makes me feel so damn secure 🙂

The last thing I made was last night, and I haven’t had time to post it (nor was I really planning to do so) because it was such a straight forward and quick project. While we were decorating for the holidays over the weekend, I once again noticed the absence of a festive tablecloth since the red jacquard given to me and my ex-husband (thirteen years ago) has seen so many uses that it is now faded and stained. The few times I have pulled it out in the last year, I have had to strategically place napkins over the grease stains in order to make do – but even so, it’s gotten a little sorry looking with time.

Fortunately, I had an excuse to go to Fabricland yesterday because I was taking my mom out to the ferry (by way of Ikea) and decided to stop into the Marine Drive location on the way back. With all fabric and notions 50% off, I very fortunately snagged three metres of red holiday jacquard for a mere $19.50 – almost like the picture you see here, but a little more “scrolly”. Anyhow – I took that home, measured and hemmed it up, and in under 45 minutes I had a new tablecloth for our home! Plus I’ve got enough fabric left over for the coffee table (or napkins if I was so inclined).

Besides a million little householdy sewing projects, I’ve got a yen to do some minor woodworking and have assembled materials for a top-bar beehive, a bed table made from antique fir flooring, and a cutting board with antiqued metal handles. Problem is, I’m not confident with woodworking and have no real idea what I am doing. It’s something I’m going to putter around with this winter, however, since we have most of what we need tools-wise and I’m not afraid to use the chopsaw.