A friend reminded me today that I hadn’t taken any vacation time in almost a year – which I didn’t believe until I looked up my leave transactions report at work – and that proves it. Not only have I not taken any vacation since the beginning of September 2005, but I have been steadily adding to my leave-balances through acrruing overtime compensation. I have over seven weeks of leave that I could be using right now it turns out. Huh. No wonder I’m so burnt out. No wonder I feel like crying when I look at my fall schedule.
It’s true, I’ve been away from the office a lot in the last year on union biz, which is just another form of work – but it makes me feel guilty taking vacation time as well. Now I feel like I don’t have a choice – that I need to take some time off in the next couple of months or I’m going to continue to unravel. It’s not even as though work is overly stressful at the moment – but it seems never-ending. So many little things, so stupidly unmanageable.
So this fall, I’ve got to make some plans quick before my whole calendar gets buried in other commitments. Problem is, everything seems like too much work at the moment – ah, the catch-22 of burnout – needing to take the time off but not being able to find the energy to do it.