no such thing as a wrong decision

the haze is very bad today in vancouver – i’m not sure if it’s caused by the forest fires, or just the regular hot weather/bad air thing that happens in the summer. the north shore mountains are just a blur though – and my sinuses have been burning for days.

i realize that vancouver legendarily has a very high quality of life for its residents – but i’m starting to wonder with no cheap housing and uber-poor air quality – how that can be? is it that other cities are infinitely worse? in that case – how can any city be considered liveable if every day is a slow poisoning and working people are forced to commute 1-2 hours each way?

oh yes, more reasons to vacate the city….

i picked up a copy of a natural buildling anthology yesterday from some friends doing distro for new society publishers. i found myself offhandedly sketching the house i would build last night on the back of envelopes. i forgot about how much i wanted to do that until i started looking at the options and beautiful designs out there…. i know, it’s years off before i get to make my own home – but it’s a nice dream anytime.

i also pulled out the research i’ve doing for the last year into educational options and made some decisions yesterday – and this morning i enrolled in my first counselling psych distance ed course because i really see no point in dragging my feet on this schooling thing any longer and since i will be spending ample time riding bc ferries – i will have some study time naturally carved into my day.

the thing i have been rolling around in my mind for the past year is a master’s degree in counselling psych which i can do via distance education starting in a year and a half (if i am accepted into the program) – but in the interim i have to pick up three undergrad credits. this is what i have decided to do – and in the end, if i decide not to do the master’s that is okay too – but getting these three courses done will at least allow me to have a choice about how i proceed at the end of that time.

my real interest of course is in more radical counselling concepts such as ecopsychology, land-based healing and wilderness therapy – which isn’t really taught anywhere that is accessible to me. i think that if i do the master’s it is mostly for the credibility of having done it – and then i will have to find other teachers over time and teach myself as well. i am also interested in bodywork approaches to healing trauma. i have a lot of ideas about these things and i would hope that in my thesis project i could find a way to integrate these into the more mainstream counselling psych schooling.

i want to do everything all the time – and i’m hoping as i move into the places i want to go things will be integrated better with my core values eventually. i’m restless these days for change, have been for quite some time and the move to the sunshine coast is only the smallest part of what is to come – that i am sure of.

i often say that i don’t know what i want – but it is simply not true – because when i listen to my heart it is no secret. i know exactly what i want – what i don’t know is how to get there exactly, because each step is a process with the destination not entirely mapped out, and because the society i live in tells me i can’t have the things i want. i have to keep reminding myself that no matter what i do, it won’t be the wrong decision – because there is no such thing.

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