salmon and blackberries

had dinner last night with jess, sharai and megan – at what is likely the last dinner party i will host at my apartment. i can’t imagine three more important or lovely people to have shared this occasion with.

we feasted on wild chinook salmon (caught by my friend george), with a reduced blackberry/rosemary/balsamic vinegar sauce (this turned out amazingly well) – couscous with fresh basil and organic greens and tomatoes. we drank wine and then gin and tonics and stayed up late and tipsy with conversation and alcohol.

i haven’t had a lot of chances to connect with the women in my life lately, because we are all busy and i am moving, and there are always a million other things that seem more important – but last night reminded me of why girlfriends are the most important relationships in terms of sustaining the self. they are there to remind you of who you are and what’s important in your history in the face of new relationships – to ground you in a community of support when you are struggling to make decisions – to listen in a way that only women know how to.

i am so thankful i have these women in my life – and i hold out great hope that eventually we will all live close to one another again – if not on the same land, in the same area – so that we can continue to support each other and the projects we are working on.

the most essential thing that came out of last night for me was to be reminded of why i wanted to do the counselling psychology masters degree in the first place, an idea i have abandoned over the last few months because it seemed too daunting to work fulltime and go to school – but in discussing our work as activists and the frustrating nexus points i keep coming to with the lack of services for poor people – i can’t ignore the thing inside of me that knows what i need to do to feel that i am following my path.

i’m pretty sure that being a computer specialist is not my path – nor is being an advisor on all things electronic communications. although i am well-versed in these things, they do not speak to my soul. i think i come out of years of communications and community education work though with a foundation for listening and teaching that would be useful to provide a basis for counselling work. i think i also come out of the last year with extensive research and ideas about healing trauma – that are all a part of what i want to follow up on with other people.

i need to spend this year on the coast thinking about what i want and how to get there. i have contacted the local land restoration group about getting involved in the sakinaw sockeye recovery program and some private land conservancy projects – i am hoping to further my skills with the land and my ideas about land-based healing in this process – while at the same time figuring out how i can juggle school and work and what options exist.

i am hung-over this morning from lack of sleep and alcohol – but my mind is working overtime as usual…..

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