Red Cedar

So. It’s done. Or very close to being so:

This is our new house on Gabriola Island (if all goes well with the inspections that is). Our offer was accepted yesterday and we are scheduled to remove subjects by the end of the month. (!!!)

The Urban Crow Bungalow has now been sold to a lovely family who will take possession in June.

I have many things to sort out, not the least of which is where I will be working come move-in time. I could stay working in the city part-time/part-time from home – but my preference is to work from Nanaimo full time and I’m crossing my fingers that this will be possible. (It’s very possible since I do all my work online, but there has to be the will to allow it and that’s not always present around here).

The photo above was taken two-minutes walk from the house, as it’s very close to the beach. It doesn’t have a view, but the beach is endlessly available – plus there is a two floor studio for textiles and music-making! And while a view would have been nice, this home was by far my favourite that we looked at in terms of how it feels and has been kept up. (Here is the full listing if you are so inclined to peruse it).

Our move is June 10th, though we’ll probably pack up our place on the 7th or 8th and store things for a couple of days to facilitate cleaning and organizing our house for handover. We have a very tight turn-around on things on that end – but I’m sure it can be managed (right?).

I can’t really believe that this happening so quickly – and at the same time, it can’t happen fast enough now that the decision has been made. We’re pretty excited about the whole thing (as you can imagine) and ready for the change!

Subsequent to my post last week, we are really doing this thing – and I’m feeling excited about it, after a weekend of looking at houses, and driving around the little island of Gabriola.

Up until this point I have been a bit ambivalent about the move, I have to admit. While the practicalities of the plan spoke volumes to me (get out of debt, live in a quieter place, be closer to family) – the reality of moving, leaving people behind, and having to pack and clean up our life in Vancouver was leaving me a bit torn in two. But after looking around homes, walking on beaches, and really connecting with Brian over the last few days about hopes/dreams/goals – I have come to a place of equanimity with the idea of moving, and true excitement about a new house and community to explore.

It doesn’t hurt that I came into work and received some good news about a new project that I might be tasked to for the next few years – one that would allow me to work from anywhere which means I won’t face having to work out of the Vancouver office for a good long time to come. That piece is still very much up in the air – but it looks like it will land firmly in my favour because I am so specialized for the proposal being made (and in some way have inspired it through my work – more on that in future post if it comes to fruition). Short story is, things are lining up in a way that makes this feel more possible than it did even four days ago.

There are two houses which we have in our sights at the moment, neither of which I am linking to here at the moment. The properties are both comparable in terms of house quality – with one having an incredible view, and the other being steps to the beach – with a large price difference between them. (Views are apparently more expensive than I thought they would be, and waterfront is downright unattainable). What we decide to do will depend on a number of factors, not the least of which is how much we sell our house for – and that we will likely know tomorrow night.

But what all of it – the selling and buying of real estate brings to mind – is how much it is purely psychological drama and nothing else which drives the prices on such choices. Or in other words – we find ourselves asking, how many tens of thousands (or hundred of thousands) extra is a view, or waterfront, or a super-fancy bathroom worth? And that question is only answered emotionally, because the practical *need* of housing (a place to sleep and cook) is served by far less than what is on offer in either place.

As both seller and buyer, I am aware of the heightened emotion that real estate purchases bring on. I remember buying our house on William Street almost seven years ago to the day – and how desperately I felt that I needed that house, the terrible emotional welling that occurred when it appeared that someone might outbid us, and how convinced I became that there was no other possible way forward than to get that, exact house. Likewise, when I sold my home on the Sunshine Coast, I dug my heels in over $5000 in the closing price and felt all sorts of terrible things towards the people who were trying to push the price down to something that would create more ease for them. There is nothing like the power we vest in land ownership to remind one of how in thrall we can be to our emotional states.

I might be speaking for myself only, but I find the energy around real estate to be hyper-charged, and unlike anything else I am aware of (except perhaps sex). And I wonder about that. I have felt more pride at “owning” a piece of land than almost anything else I have done in my life even though I rationally (and spiritually) know that there is no such thing as ownership when it comes to land and its living beings. One could say that its a symbol of hard work, and that’s what causes the frisson of ownership, but to that I would call bullshit also because there has been no hard work (for me) involved in things like the real estate market in Vancouver doubling in value, nor in the fact that I can get a loan from the bank. And while it is true that I have gone to work diligently my whole adult life, I recognize too that being born into the middle class and subsequently being university educated – is also a fluke, not the sign that I am more deserving than other people.

And so it is, that owning property is charged because in our culture we have allowed it to be so – to be somehow defining of adulthood and success – even though it is more likely an accident of where one is born and who they are born to, than anything else.

Back in November I had a very strong feeling during meditation retreat – which I can only describe as an overwhelming desire for merger with the natural world. The image that came to me over and over was the feeling of diving into a summer lake and the momentary sensation of being taken in by that body, fully enveloped by it, and losing the sense of the separation between one body and another. This drive for merger spoke to me of the artificial nature of the separation that we experience. My desire for merger was/is really just a desire for awakening to the true nature of being which is non-separation or wholeness – and the felt-experience on retreat was a glimmer, an inkling of that being state.

And so these feelings around the ownership of property, of land and beings – I have started to wonder if they have such power, because they replace our desire for merger and deep belonging. That is, many peoples of the world have lived easily without the need to *own* land, and with a sense of being a part of the land and its many creatures (that is, a sense of oneness) – is the loss of this oneness then replaced by another strong set of symbols which reside in power through control over/ownership of? Or to be simpler about it, are we so disconnected from the world that we no longer to be a part of it except through possession?

I will say that although I am aware of the feelings, the emotionalism, being present in this round of selling and buying – I am not as taken by them (at the moment) as I have been in the past. But I’m not immune by a long shot! And so I am working at remembering day by day – this desire for merger, and the delusion of ownership – in an effort to better understand and diminish the unpleasant roller-coaster of pride and anger and hope and frustration that arise in the process.

I’ve been quiet here these last few weeks – partly because I took a screen break in early February, and then I was sick and travelling for work…. but for the last week or so it’s because I’ve had news that was too early to share and I felt dishonest just blathering on here as though everything was as normal. Because it’s not. And that’s because Brian and I have decided to move.

We’ve made the announcement via Facebook this morning, after quietly informing friends and family over the last few days via telephone calls and emails. I always think that news between intimates is best shared in person as much as possible – and so we’ve tried to bring those closest to us (and most impacted) up to speed before sharing it more broadly via social media.

So here it is on the blog: We are selling the Urban Crow Bungalow. It is going on the market next week and there will be an open house towards next weekend. While that is progressing, we will be looking at properties to buy on Gabriola Island, because that will be our new home base.

Gabriola Island people – think about it! (For those of you who don’t know, Gabriola is an island with a population of just over 4000 people, a 20-minute ferry ride to Nanaimo, BC – it’s beautiful and rural and ringed by swimming beaches including some with sand, and beautiful sandstone formations).

We will also be purchasing a condo in Vancouver so Brian can continue to work here three days a week. He will share that condo with our daughter Mica who is currently living in residence at SFU – thus providing housing for her and a place to land for us when we are required to work from town. I am trying to move my work position to Nanaimo at least for the time being (we have offices there) which would make for a very reasonable daily commute.

Also, we’ll be paying off our debt on the Link Lake cabin meaning that we will have the funds to finish it inside of two years rather than five. So basically we are trading in a house in East Vancouver for a house on Gabriola, an apartment in the city, and a cabin in the interior.

Why are we moving?

Some of our friends are surprised by this news and others are not because they know that Brian and I have long talked about moving to Vancouver Island where both sets of our parents live. On the other hand, we have run our home like a community center for the last seven years and so I’m sure that many people in our lives are shocked to hear that we would leave all of that behind. Our decision to move has many factors and though we haven’t been actively talking about it with friends and family – we have been mulling together over how to get out of the city for most of our relationship – even more so in the last year.

Probably the key reason we are moving now comes down to age, stage and lifestyle. Our co-parenting relationship with Mica’s mom has come to a close (somewhat) with Mica moving into University residence which means we have more freedom to live elsewhere. Our own parents are entering their elder years (all of them now in their seventies), and would love to have us closer. And in our middle age, we are looking for a quieter lifestyle while still being able to maintain our careers. All of these shifts have prodded us into thinking about the various permutations our life could take (including one version which had us selling everything and moving out onto a very remote property which would have had us leaving work behind forever), and after poking around in our relationship and on the Internet we’ve decided this makes a lot of sense for us.

It’s also a very good time to sell a house in Vancouver. We won’t make any bones about the fact that Vancouver real estate being what it is, allows us to make some different choices than we had available to us when we bought in 2008. This is not our primary motivator, but the fact of it makes this possible in a way it wouldn’t be otherwise.

And finally, Vancouver is changing and will continue to do so in ways that I’m not entirely enjoying. While I love the city, the mountains and the sea around it, the great food culture, and the quirky East Van that I’ve lived in for most of twenty years — I don’t love the transit service on the decline, the increasingly clogged roads, and the lack of affordability that keeps many people broke around us. We are not immune from any of that! My feelings about Vancouver are not overwhelmingly negative at this point – not at all – but I feel the city gently pushing me out with each passing year and we are ready to go now before that feelings gets more insistent.

Didn’t you do this before though? 

Well, yes. I have done something similar before – fourteen years ago I moved  to the Sunshine Coast where I lived for four years before returning to the city. Longtime friends and readers of this blog will remember that I moved on my own to Roberts Creek and then to Gibsons where I owned a duplex that I ended up renting out in order to return to the city. (I sold the duplex in order to make improvements to the Urban Crow just over five years ago now).

I’ve been thinking a lot about that move lately – both what precipitated it and what brought me back to the city afterwards – and while on the surface it may look like a similar choice, it really feels quite different. Without going into too much detail about how I was deeply depressed and traumatized when I moved to a community in which I knew no one and was further away from family and friends, I will say that I was in a very different head space back then. This move to Gabriola is not inspired by a need to *escape* so much as a moving into a different life place and putting in place the supports to do that.

The two things that propelled me back to the city (being single and my bid for greater union leadership roles) are no longer factors in my life (thankfully!) – so I’m confident that this move is going to stick even though it involves a ferry commute.

So what about that ferry commute? Why Gabriola Island?

My hope this time around is to co-locate close to Nanaimo rather than commuting into Vancouver every day (which is what I did from the Sunshine Coast). While we recognize that the ferry adds an extra commuting dimension, my overall time to the office will be half of what it was from the Sunshine Coast, and exactly what my door-to-door commute is on transit right now. For Brian, the commute happens twice a week and the extra money freed up from mortgages allows him to take advantage of the harbour plane during good weather, and to afford the downtown-to-downtown passenger ferry being proposed to start again in Nanaimo this year. Worst case is that Brian works from the ferry a couple of times per week – which is far preferable to a daily round trip commute of 3.5 hours (ask me how I know).

Gabriola Island appeals to us specifically because it is rural, and because it is possible to travel easily on the island without a car and with aid only of a bicycle when necessary.  As Brian doesn’t drive, something similar on the main Island would put us into a more remote community, with connections that utilize the highway. This is not preferable for either of us – and in fact I hope it will be possible to cycle commute from the Island to our office in Nanaimo during most times of the year – something that wouldn’t happen if we bought in a more rural part of the central island and were linked by highways to Nanaimo.

Also – beaches! And lots of them. And artists! Lots of those too.

Anything else?

We are looking for a decent-sized (but not monster) home with enough bedrooms for guests, with good hosting space for dinners and parties, and with room for both a music/jam space and a textile studio. While we may purchase something that doesn’t initially have that studio space, we know that there are enough prefab companies out there which specialize in just such buildings – and a two-car garage can be easily converted into something for that purpose also. Ideally we would like half an acre or more, for the privacy more than anything else. We can’t really afford waterfront or anything super-fancy – but with our Vancouver dollars we will certainly be purchasing something that is ready for move-in – not building or doing an extensive reno.

I’ll tell you more as our plans unfold. We’re prepping the house for sale this weekend and house hunting on Gabriola next while the open houses take place. I’ve got a storage locker rented for overflow, and plans to hire a packing service for this move already in my head. We expect that once we start, we’ll be packed and moved to Gabriola by mid-June at the latest, though it may take more time to get the condo in the city (our goal is to have that sorted by September move-in if not earlier).

And yes, I am somewhat stressed about this move because it’s a *big* change for us – but I’m also ready for this in a way I didn’t realize until I started to let the possibility in. My test for that is to ask myself – “how would I feel if we pulled the plug on this plan today?” If the answer was “relieved” I would know it wasn’t time. But each time I ask myself that question I honestly answer it with “no way! we are totally doing this!” Which means I’m committed. Which doesn’t preclude being a bit scared.

So hold my hand people because I am ready to leap!