Red Cedar
More apocalypse, less angst
confession
i got very drunk last night, and spent over an hour arguing with a linguistics phd student who is all of 24 years old about his role in doing language work in first nations communities, and i smoked a cigarette. margot and the two stephs and i made fun of the young student and then i went home.
i felt very ill this morning and i have done no packing today.
what is community?
i wanted to journal on something other than just my ongoing move today – and i was going to write on the question of “what is family?” this morning – but a friend wrote a poem to a list of people he knows this morning and it begged the question of what is real community (and he’s right, it certainly isn’t a computer mailing list).
i think it’s an appropriate time for me to write about this, as i am moving out of my physical community and into another – and yet today, when i sent my new phone number out to people by email – it went all around north america – all people who i consider a part of a community i belong to for different reasons. some of them are friends from my physical, some from my ideological and spiritual, and some from the artistic communities in which i am involved.
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mr. picassohead
if it weren’t for the internet – we wouldn’t have things like mr. picassohead – and then what would we do?
a cabin in the foothills
nathan has rented a crazy little cabin on 5 acres in tonasket, washington. (if you follow that link you will notice that the “city” of tonasket has website useful for almost no purpose).
anyhow – this cabin was originally built in 1912, and backs onto state forest land. looking at the pictures sent by the real estate agent, it appears as though this place hasn’t been lived in for awhile, but is generally sound enough and just needs a little tlc. i have included a picture of it so y’all can see where i will be spending part of my time this fall…. looks like a good place to escape from the urban to me….
red cedar prayers
i found out last night that someone i care about very much has been diagnosed with some form of lymphoma (lymph cancer). he is the same age as me, and one of the healthiest people i know – someone who has very much impacted my life in the most positive of ways, and showed me the path to getting well after my own injury and depression.
i am struggling to understand how this could happen to someone i love, as though my caring for someone should protect them from harm. how fairy-tale…..
this has tapped a deep well inside of me, and although i do not want to indulge my “tragic sense” (as it has been referred to by my friend), i am endlessly sad in the moments i pause to reflect on how difficult a battle he must face. i have great faith in him though, to heal himself without western medicine – because he is healthy and strong and tenacious – and full of life. this is what i need to focus on, and i know it – to bring the positive memory of his core strength up before me instead of putting energy towards the worst possible conclusion.
i am now making prayers for my friend every day until he is well again – and i ask that if in your travels you find yourself near a red cedar – the tree of life – you make prayers for his health and well-being too.
Red Cedar 