Red Cedar
More apocalypse, less angst
forcing a smile
i received all my leave approvals from work yesterday – now it looks like after next week (when i am in the office every day) – i will be out of the office for most of the three weeks following. one week for union business, 3 days of the following week for holidays (am working 2 days), and one week for having my wisdom teeth removed at the beginning of january.
that means very little commuting for three whole weeks (union work is at-home work this time)! of course i will be travelling to the island for a few days of the holidays – and am having people here for new year’s eve and the days surrounding that – but there is a part of me wondering what it will be like to be mostly in the country for three weeks, and not in the city almost at all.
although i am still feeling crummy (ugly, unloved, tired….) i plan to go to vancouver island this afternoon with fraser to attend the 30th birthday of our beloved kyla and see many old friends. hopefully i will have some photos to post tomorrow when i return.
i decided to book a hotel room so i would be assured of not having to sleep in a noisy corner – and for some reason went with the odd choice of the cherry bank hotel. now – i worked at this hotel many years ago – in the restaurant, bar and at the hotel front desk. and from that experience – i *know* it is a dive. however, it is cheap and since i worked there for almost two years, there is a part of me wondering just how divey it is to stay in.
am hoping the socializing this evening boosts my social energies – have been a little too reclusive of late. fraser seems hell-bent on having fun, and hell-bent on making me have fun – so that’s a good start anyhow.
letters from prison
the thing about having a friend in prison is that sometimes you get these lovely thick letters full of gossip and tidbits and weirdness, the product of someone with more time on their hands to write than most people do – and then other times it is a single sheet of misery sent with a 49-cent stamp.
that misery is not usually borne out of anything more particular than the daily grind of prison, a friend who has been sprung free, a small privilege denied. sometimes you find yourself a bitter reminder of life on the outside, not to be trusted, or someone who just doesn’t understand.
tonight i got the latter type of letter – one sheet, weeks after the last letter and the last promise to call – an apology for not being able to remain open in heart, and a tear.
i have learned these long years of friends and family in jails across this country, not to worry – worrying does no good – but to hold their image of life outside firmly fixed – unwavering in this at least.
unmotivated
things are really not so good at work (major communications craziness here) and i am doing very little about it. i can’t quite motivate myself to get the stuff done i need to for the contract ratification vote on monday, nor can i get an answer from my boss about leave requests for union business – i’m in that sorta underwhelmed state – have a lot to do, have given up caring for the moment.
this morning i have:
altered and printed up images to use for cards made a new desktop image ended up in a back and forth email conversation with someone who also lives on the sunshine coast and who also blogs talked to my friend aaron who has now moved to la (he called me on his way back to dc)
and a few other small work-related things. it is now noon and i have a lot of work to get done but still i am not moving very fast to do them. and – i need to leave early to get books that i ordered from the library (for a paper i am writing).
in defense of my lack of motivation i will say that i am feeling quite ill today, and the last couple of days have been pretty low (monthly cycle – no clinical issues) to the degree that i want to cancel my trip to victoria this weekend….. but….. i think going over to the island for the night will be good – a chance to see some old friends including anna who may be going away again for a long time. am not visiting family on this trip as it will be for one night only…..
am also trying to figure out whether to visit aaron in january, meet him in the bay area in february (and visit other friends), or get him to come here for a long weekend…. between work, union, and getting my wisdom teeth removed in january – the new year is already shaping up busy…..
desktop pictures
a request from delire to use a photo from my blog inspired me to re-vamp the photograph in photoshop for use on holiday cards this year.
in that process i decided to turn that photo into another in the forest desktops series. for those of you who haven’t been reading my blog for all that long (and who like purty desktop pictures of trees) – i am reposting all four from the series here for your use. if you do end up using them – tell me! i like to hear about stuff like that.
new Forest Sentry – Photo taken in the Gifford Pinchot Forest on a research plot – Predominantly Fir & Hemlock, August 2004 Cedar & Creek -Photo taken in Cliff Gilker Park, Roberts Creek BC, October 2004 Turning Alder – Photo taken in the Loomis National Forest, Washington State, September 2004 Douglas Fir – Photo taken at Lynn Headwaters in North Vancouver BC, September 2003 – this one looks way better on an apple…. the colors are too dark on the windows box….
fire on anarchist mountain
this weekend when i was in vancouver i ran into my friend joey only who gave me a copy of his cd that i recorded on in the summer. i include here a link to the mp3 of fire on anarchist mountain for your listening pleasure (my contribution is the fiddle part and a little singing)….
Red Cedar 
