Red Cedar
More apocalypse, less angst
grateful
on my way to finish the christmas errands needing to be done before i see family, i drove up a logging road just north of gibsons to get a good, long, uninterrupted look at the mountains towering over howe sound – capped in snow and anchored deep below the water line.
on my way home, i drove down to the breakwater in roberts creek and walked out beyond the estuary to surround myself by the sea.
somewhere between those places is a solace found in an apparent stability that is really continuous change. that is where all our lives are lived, as fluid as the ocean, as solid as the mountain, as present as the air that sustains each breath…. if i stand here, in this space between earth and sky – is my thin layer of skin keeping the world out, or is it connecting the rest of me to everything else?
i am grateful for this fluidity, the thinness of my skin in the sun-soaked morning, the deep roots which bind me to my community. i am neither far away nor near – but always easily found – always ready for the next…..
solstice greetings from far away
i guess solstice is when all the people who have gone far away from you get back in touch because today i have had communications from those dear to my heart who i have not seen for ages. i am trying not to focus on loss, which is dominating this december, but instead on the fact i know i will be seeing many friends in the new year who i have not had much time with as of late.
as this longest night of the year begins – i am lighting a candle for all of those who i am keeping in my heart – far and near – and hoping we might all be reunited some day.
memorials
for those who have been asking – here are the memorial details for bob:
we have hosted a blog at http://memorial.resist.ca (thanks margot!) for people to post rememberances and any works they have belonging to bob in one place. please go there to create an account and put your words into the sphere for others to share in.
The memorial for Bob Everton is on Thursday night – Dec. 23
6 pm – Glenhaven Memorial Chapel – 1835 East Hastings
7 pm – Wake at the Wise Hall – 1882 Adanac
The family are asking people to bring photos and stories about Bob to the Wise to be posted on posterboard.
still sorrow
i feel unable to move beyond this deep sorrow i am feeling over the loss of my friend bob although i know with time the sharpness of it will mellow and i will be able to have rememberances without shaking to fall apart.
the gathering in vancouver on saturday night was very heartening to me – to look around maryann’s house and see all of my favourite people from the social justice movement in vancouver – all the people who really matter to me – and know that we shared this moment not just because bob was special to all of us – but because we have been united in a common struggle.
there is a pride in knowing the calibre of people who are a part of this struggle, their love and humanity (and sometimes rage) in the face of a world that seems increasingly at odds with everything we work for. the death of one community member, especially one as influential as bob, is a reminder to appreciate what small moments we have together – is a reminder to me how important the people i love are to me and how lucky i am to have such a diversity of people in my life.
we (the resist collective) are going to get a blog up and running on resist for memories of bob to be posted on – since there are people who he impacted around the world who want a central place to share to – i will post the address here once we get it going.
bob everton (1952-2004)
got a call this morning that a close friend passed away last night from a heart attack.
bob everton was only 52 years old, his life spent as a radical and educator, he was a cornerstone of the vancouver activist community and i’m sure his death will impact people strongly, just as his life did.
i have spent the day crying and sleeping and will leave shortly to vancouver where there are people gathering to be with one another in the wake of this powerful life now gone.
there is a tremendous loss in my heart knowing that bob is no longer there as my friend and confidante, for he is someone who helped me through some of my darkest times, providing me with compassion and support and healing energy when my struggles were the greatest. many a bottle of wine we drank on the balcony of my last apartment in vancouver, watching the people go by as he promised me that revolution was just around the corner. bob had a way of making you believe in your work as an activist, and that we would all live to see societal transformation on a grand scale – it was only a matter of years.
he believed that for most of his life i suspect – and as far as i can tell he never wavered in the face of the brutality our system brought to bear on himself and others.
a conversation i had with him last year keeps coming back to me today because it brings me some comfort…. those of you who know bob, know that he was in chile during the 1973 coup by pinochet’s forces, and had been working there as a leftist activist for some time. as a result of his efforts, he was arrested and taken to one of the stadiums where leftist-sympathizers were being detained, interviewed and then shot (in one of the stadiums there was a wholesale massacre of thousands of people at one time – bob was in a different location than this). bob and his compatriots were held there for 10 long days, awaiting their fate which they were certain would be death – after an interview with the generals trying to get further information on people to round up from the frightened men and women of the social democratic movement.
at the end of the 10 days, marked by plots to escape and frightening treatment and threats, the canadian government intervened under some pressure from activists in the country and bob was allowed to leave the makeshift prison.
last year was the 30th anniversary of those events, and during that week bob came over to my house and we drank a bottle of wine while i asked him questions about what that had been like for him, how it was to walk free when so many people he know were murdered by the chilean fascists. what he told me then was this: (paraphrased)
“i never expected to walk out of that stadium alive, when they finally did release me i kept expecting to be shot on the street or re-arrested. because i never expected to live beyond those days, i have viewed every day since then as a gift – time to be spent in the struggle and in having a life worth living”
those thirty-one intervening years since bob was released from the chilean stadium were not only a gift of time for him – but for everyone who knew and worked with him over the years. his energy for organizing up until his last days was infinite and beyond his activism – he was a solid friend who was there for those who he loved.
i only got to know bob well in the last two years (though knew him peripherally for years before that) – and i feel very priveleged to have spent the time i had with him. i am still shocked that he is gone from my life, and the life of my community – and so sorrowful that i will never share a bottle of red wine and a talk with him again.
Red Cedar 