Red Cedar
More apocalypse, less angst
a welcoming, a goodbye
a call on my answering machine last night informed me that my bandmate sean morton has become a proud papa as his partner michelle delivered a healthy baby girl on monday. i have no other details than this right now, but am very happy they have fulfilled this desire to have a child. there is so much at stake in our world at this moment, it seems a tense time to welcome new people into the world – and yet we do it every day and joyously.
reports this morning tell us that the salmon nation is dying, the waters are too warm, and we could be witnessing the last of a species that has fed this land and its inhabitants for thousands of years – and yet, we are still hopeful enough to have children. i am never sure if this is endlessly naiive or marvelously courageous – but it is the path that these two dear friends of mine have embarked on – and in that i support them and welcome their new daughter.
scared sacred
i went last night to see a new film by velcrow ripper (someone i have had an acquaintanceship for long enough to remember when he started making this film). scared sacred is the product of five years of velcrow’s life, during which he travelled to the ground zeros of the world searching for the profound inside of the profane, on a simultaneously external and internal quest. during the journey, the viewer is taken to bhopal, kabul, hiroshima, an afghani refugee camp in pakistan, new york city (site of the wtc bombings), cambodia, israel/palestine, and bosnia to experience visually both the devastation and the often inspiring personal stories of resistance, of courage, of spirituality and of community.
infused with evocative and artful film footage, is the narration velcrow offers drawing both on the spiritual and personal lessons of his youth, and those he is absorbing on the journey he shares. it is this deeply intimate thread which winds the film together, drawing the viewer into their own personal reflections and journey for the duration of the film. it is in this space that we meet the women fighting taliban rule by opening secret schools for girls, those who have created a free clinic in bhopal for the victims of union carbide, parents of both israeli and palestinian children killed in the cross-fire who are fighting oppression through compassionate solidarity, and many others….. a tapestry of lives that provide the backdrop of purpose and meaning north american consumer society is so bereft of.
what i didn’t realize until last night is this is just the first of a triology and two more films are to follow – the second currently in production. the themes velcrow is tackling are ambitious – similar to those found in the works of derrick jensen and chellis glendinning – but essential to shed light on in an increasingly unpredicatable world. as we hurtle towards some major shift in planet and species brought on by climate change, or a civilizational collapse, it is this discussion that will bring us to hope if not optimism that through resilience and connection our species may survive even the most unthinkable of moments.
this film is being shown at film festivals and community showings currently but will be released theatrically in short order. it is also available for purchase on dvd (though i’m not sure how you would get your hands on it) – i would highly recommend this film and encourage you to check out the website at http://www.scaredsacred.org. (photo at the top of this post credited to velcrow ripper)
crossing my fingers….
i’m super spazzy today – not only am i scrambling to get all this house-buying stuff arranged, but the new person working for me started this morning as well! thus, i’m a bit strung out and have all the symptoms of adhd i could ever want (can’t sit still, can’t complete tasks, can’t settle down)….. not to mention my folks have got involved in this house-process (they have decided to guarantee the mortgage so i can get a cheaper rate) and somehow our family is never able to do anything together without generating a lot of stress for each other. now, having said that, i am very appreciative that they are showing some willingness to help out in this way because it means lower payments for me and less money to the banks….
so yes, financing at a decent rate has become an option, i have an inspector scheduled for thursday morning, and have requested all the appropriate paperwork from banks, employers and revenue canada). i am taking thursday off work to deal with the inspection and go through the house – i will remember to take my camera this time and get some more pictures of things (i forgot to take it the first time i viewed – the pics came from the realtor). this is all happening really fast – it’s hard to believe that if it all continues as planned i will be moving april 30.
what’s really odd about the whole process is that while it’s this big, stressful, momentous occasion for me – the buying-selling house process is mundane to all the folks i’m dealing with (mortgagers, realtors, inspectors)….. it’s like half their job is just in assuring you that you’re okay and that it’s all going to work out.
and my fingers are crossed that it is (all going to work out)….
is this for real? i put an offer on a home
of all insanity – i put an offer in on a 1/2 duplex today… which surprised even me since i was adamantly looking for a standalone house (no condos, no townhouses). but when i walked into this place it felt like somewhere i could live until i build up enough equity to buy the type of place i really want down the road. the space is almost 1700 square feet and includes 3 bedrooms (1 up, 2 down), 2 bathrooms, a family room, a living room, a dining area and a kitchen with a breakfast nook off it. although it’s two floors (and way more space than i needed), the main living space is all on one floor which i really like… it’s like a large one bedroom apartment, and quite cosy. also a bonus is that it has a wood stove to offset the hydro costs.
the real bottom line though is that more and more i am realizing in a realistic price range for me (around $200k), any house i buy will be in need of major repairs and/or upgrades – which i just don’t have the time in my life for right now. the reality is – as much as i want to live on the coast, i am only here evenings after work and 1 out of every 2 weekends. low maintenance at this stage of my life makes the most sense. i suppose i’m just looking at this as a way to stop paying rent and get into the market without having to put a lot of effort in.
so the offer was countered and i accepted the counter – and that means that we now are dealing with the nitty-gritty. i have to get on the mortgage broker, get an inspector, an assessment and all that…. within the next 12 days or so. if i get the subjects cleared up then i would be giving notice here and moving april 30th – that’ s quicker than i would have expected, but better i move now then get too much more settled in.
anyhow – here’s the list i made this afternoon to help me with my decision, i’m still pretty freaked out by the whole thing…..
the pros:
* it’s really liveable as is – no immediate repairs or decorating needed
* it has a woodstove
* there is a potential to have a suite or a roomate at least to offset the mortgage
* it’s close to the village of gibsons (15 minute walk)
* lots of living space
* no lawn to mow – low maintenance lot
* small garden spaces that could be made really nice without a ton of work
* it’s on municipal water and sewer (no septic to deal with)
* large deck – southwest facing – i can see mt. elphinstone from it as well
* the house is set off from the road
* close to transit, only 4 km or so from the ferry if i feel like walking home on summer evenings
* it’s really affordable for me, a good way to get into a steep real estate market
the cons:
* the neighbourhood is not super exciting
* the lot is small, and there are houses on all sides – i’d prefer a little more rural
* no real hang-out in yard spaces
* it’s a duplex – and maybe i won’t get along with the neighbours
to see photos – click on the more link….. and tell me what you think!
what happens when the lights go out and don't come back on?
i stayed in town last night, went to a physio appointment after work, went for dinner with a union friend and then to firetrap’s place where i hung out with her and the two roomates – talking *late* into the evening. the general theme being the ongoing decline of western civilization and imminent ecological or economic collapse. somewhere in the discussion i realized that pretty much consistently for the past two years this has been a dominant theme in many conversations with close friends – at least those who are open to talking about it. but what also struck me was how little i really do get to talk about the end of civilization as we know it with others who also believe that eventuality is hovering somewhere not so far out of our peripheral vision.
always, i am reminded of the cartoon of the shabbily dressed protester on the street corner with the sign saying “the end is near”, presumably standing there day after day as the world didn’t come to an end…. and this is a fear of perception for me – that i, like that cartoon image am on a fringe, alienated and thus unable to relate to others, viewed as unstable (or at the very least, extreme) due to my unwavering belief in the end times. but then i sit, and talk with intelligent and well-spoken people, who have amazing and creative and unsystemic views and actions about the world – and am relieved to find my solace there (rather than with those coddled by consumption and mass media, who do believe that technology will in fact save us from our own diminished capacities). i am relieved to be a part of that, which i do understand, rather than of a system which despite my participation in it, i am constantly confounded by.
and what of the fact we have likely hit peak oil, that climate change predictions from the highest quarters are becoming more dire by the day (not to mention the salmon in the beaufort sea that do not belong there), that currencies are falling while the oceans are steadily rising? is it a trick of media that makes us passive spectators to our own world changing or is it a steadfast refusal to face the possibility of our own mortality that keeps us from seizing our world back from the corporations before it is too late?
although i have these questions, and sharing our perspectives on them last night kept me entertained for hours of good speculation – i do not really worry about these things so much as wonder about them – wonder about me in relation to them – wonder about these things and myself and other people and the relationship between all of them and really – how it will work out in the end for all the earth’s creatures. at the very least it will be interesting, if not exhilarating, frightening, heart-breaking, and ultimately – liberating.
“one begins to wonder… which will come first – the last barrel of oil, or the last big tree.”
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Red Cedar 