Red Cedar

Back in high school, I hung out with music geeks of the punk and goth persuasion. You know the type – not only do they have every album and bootleg (and re-release, and b-sides) by a particular band, they also know the names and birth places of each band member, what the musical influences were for each individual, and which specific tragedy/drug habit has most hampered them as a collective entity. Not only does the music geek know all this minutae, they think you’re a loser cause you don’t. Of course this doesn’t end in high school cause once you get out of your hick high school into a hipster city like Vancouver, you discover there are plenty of thirty-somethings who thrive on just this sort of endless conversation. I think it has something to do with creating the sense of exclusivity through consumer choice, or perhaps it is a refusal to grow up and take on the world’s weightier matters (take your pick – those were both theories discussed seriously in the popular music class I took in university).

Even though I’ve been a musician for most of my life, I have always felt out of step with the music geek. As much as I love to find new music to listen to, I don’t really go out of my way to do it – nor do I bother to find out the names of the musicians, or how they came to be a band in the first place. I can’t converse about popular bands or people in the same way I do not know what movies are currently playing, or what celebrity another celebrity is fucking. I can, however, talk about music in the general sense…. can go on for hours in fact about themes, layers, politics, lyrics, harmonics and overall musicality if I hear something that turns me on. One night not so long ago and high on mushrooms, I spent (what seemed like) a long time listening to a particular new music/classical suite with Greg extolling the virtues of each musical breath and beat…. Which had more to do with how excited I was by the composer (Kevin Volans) than how high I was on the drugs.

When I think back to all those people who could discuss music trivia ad naseaum, I can’t remember any of them talking about why it was they liked a particular song or album. Perhaps it’s because this information is too personal, or maybe because we have mostly not learned to appreciate music outside of basically understanding that it’s good to dance to or has a “killer bass line”. I know for me unless something really turns my ear, I don’t expend the intellectual energy to think much about it except as background noise – and a lot of music falls into that category unfortunately.

The point being – I am not a music geek, nor am I a music collector of any kind – but lately I have become obsessed with finding new tunes for the weekly IPod update…. Right now on heavy rotation are the following new (within the last 6 months) releases:

• Thievery Corporation – The Cosmic Game – It’s political dance music, how can one not like these folks?
• Neko Case – Fox Confessor Brings the Flood – Lyrically Neko Case is *so* much more interesting than most alt-country bands and she’s got that killer unique voice to match the words.
• Boards of Canada – The Campfire Headphase – As always, gorgeous experimental electronica from Scotland. If they actually were from Canada I’d think they took courses with Barry Truax or something.
• The Agnostic Mountain Gospel Choir Fighting and Onions – Just got this in the mail today, one of my favourite Canadian bands: twangy banjos, raucous bluegrass and a voice like Tom Waits.
• Cat Power – The Greatest – Her voice is just perfect, that’s all there really is to say.
• Paul Motian Band – Garden of Eden – Nice improve jazz from the school of new music.
• Boris Kovacs and the Ladaaba Orchestre – World After History – This is the final album in a trilogy of big band dance music (waltzes, tangos and mazurkas), and although it is not the best of the three, it does cap the set off nicely (The Last Balkan Tango and Ballads at the End of Time are the companions), listen to all three albums together and the horror of Yugoslavia’s bombing starts to make sense.
• Gorillaz – Demon Days – I’m not sure why but it’s got a good rhythm that gets you going and the Gorillaz remind me of Darren since he turned me on to them years ago.

An interesting mix on top of the Midnight Oil, Sisters of Mercy and Bad Religion I have also been subjecting my neighbours to.

Yup, not a geek – but wow am I into music these days.

“I smile when I think of the trouble we’ve been up to – feeling Vaneigem’s call to pleasure actuely in the loft above Chinatown. What is it to struggle if we do not know ecstasy at least once and awhile? Trace a lover’s silhouette on the blank pad that is my heart – and why not? For we are living at the end of all things as every generation has – and we need to seize our own energy while it exists to do so.”

{part of the March 16th entry}

Wow. Swimming. Endorphin rush goodness…..

Lazy I have been since December when my world went askance – even knowing that the best stress relief (besides sex) comes from putting the body through its physical paces on a regular basis. Several times over the past three months I have thought about going back to the gym, but somehow lacked the inertia. Today, however, I couldn’t have kept myself away and was *so* glad I remembered to bring my swim kit back to work this week. There is something itching inside of me right now, some energy which needs placating – and thirty laps has at least relaxed my body to the degree that the energy doesn’t feel quite as pent up (it’s still there, just flowing now).

Perhaps it is just that spring is upon us (blustery and rainy it may be), and my body is aching to stretch and get outside… but the past few days I have felt this deep need for activity – and I’m hoping the weekend brings some respite from the rain so I can at least take a quick hike up the mountain, or explore the ravine below my house. It’s good to feel this rush, as I know the time is counting down to get in shape for my planned hiking trip in the Stein Valley in June.

Looking at my desk piled up with work – both paid and union – I am glad for the endorphin rush. There’s simply far too much to do right now – but I’m not minding the fact I have a full task list – it’s one of those times when I actually feel like my work is useful and serves a purpose, which makes it easier to keep moving. I hear a moving target is that much more difficult to hit…..

This really is just a placeholder update as I’m feeling a bit behind on the blog this week. More interesting writing to follow shortly.

I have been away again, but now returned to my desk for another few days of working before more union leave that starts next Friday. Made my reservations today for the union convention in Toronto at the end of April, confirmed a work meeting in Ottawa for the middle of May, still considering playing a show in Seattle on the Memorial Day long weekend….. honestly, I am looking forward to a summer where I go nowhere except to the Island and back. Seems that travel and work are my themes right now, with the occasional good shag thrown in to keep me centered (and thank goddess for that small mercy!).

I am feeling pretty good at the moment, a little tired today, but more balanced than I have been in awhile. I have been enjoying the guy in my life a lot lately, though we don’t see each other more than once a month, and am using the non-confining nature of our relationship to see if I can re-orient the way I am in relationships. Sometimes I still panic, but that seems to be mostly about projection. At least I understand it to some degree, even if it’s not always immediately correctable.

The ferry accident last night made today a busy one at work – I’m a bit spaced out after the fast pace the day started with…. hopefully to return with something more exciting to say about it all later.