Red Cedar
More apocalypse, less angst
From my analog journal.
“I smile when I think of the trouble we’ve been up to – feeling Vaneigem’s call to pleasure actuely in the loft above Chinatown. What is it to struggle if we do not know ecstasy at least once and awhile? Trace a lover’s silhouette on the blank pad that is my heart – and why not? For we are living at the end of all things as every generation has – and we need to seize our own energy while it exists to do so.”
{part of the March 16th entry}
Swimming Rush.
Wow. Swimming. Endorphin rush goodness…..
Lazy I have been since December when my world went askance – even knowing that the best stress relief (besides sex) comes from putting the body through its physical paces on a regular basis. Several times over the past three months I have thought about going back to the gym, but somehow lacked the inertia. Today, however, I couldn’t have kept myself away and was *so* glad I remembered to bring my swim kit back to work this week. There is something itching inside of me right now, some energy which needs placating – and thirty laps has at least relaxed my body to the degree that the energy doesn’t feel quite as pent up (it’s still there, just flowing now).
Perhaps it is just that spring is upon us (blustery and rainy it may be), and my body is aching to stretch and get outside… but the past few days I have felt this deep need for activity – and I’m hoping the weekend brings some respite from the rain so I can at least take a quick hike up the mountain, or explore the ravine below my house. It’s good to feel this rush, as I know the time is counting down to get in shape for my planned hiking trip in the Stein Valley in June.
Looking at my desk piled up with work – both paid and union – I am glad for the endorphin rush. There’s simply far too much to do right now – but I’m not minding the fact I have a full task list – it’s one of those times when I actually feel like my work is useful and serves a purpose, which makes it easier to keep moving. I hear a moving target is that much more difficult to hit…..
Obligatory Update.
This really is just a placeholder update as I’m feeling a bit behind on the blog this week. More interesting writing to follow shortly.
I have been away again, but now returned to my desk for another few days of working before more union leave that starts next Friday. Made my reservations today for the union convention in Toronto at the end of April, confirmed a work meeting in Ottawa for the middle of May, still considering playing a show in Seattle on the Memorial Day long weekend….. honestly, I am looking forward to a summer where I go nowhere except to the Island and back. Seems that travel and work are my themes right now, with the occasional good shag thrown in to keep me centered (and thank goddess for that small mercy!).
I am feeling pretty good at the moment, a little tired today, but more balanced than I have been in awhile. I have been enjoying the guy in my life a lot lately, though we don’t see each other more than once a month, and am using the non-confining nature of our relationship to see if I can re-orient the way I am in relationships. Sometimes I still panic, but that seems to be mostly about projection. At least I understand it to some degree, even if it’s not always immediately correctable.
The ferry accident last night made today a busy one at work – I’m a bit spaced out after the fast pace the day started with…. hopefully to return with something more exciting to say about it all later.
Open Government? Not quite.
According to direction inside the federal government that came down yesterday and backed up by this Globe and Mail story – Stephen Harper has put a muzzle on the federal government that will curtail all government announcements that don’t fit into his “five priorities” (which – as memorized are – gst, health, family, crime and accountability). That’s right , government departments are now required to send every single press release, news item, letter to the editor and statement through the Prime Minister’s Office before issue and anything not fitting the agenda will be denied.
This is highly unusual – that any Minister, let alone a Prime Minister would attempt to silence the departments actually carrying out day to day duties on behalf of the public – unprecedented really… and on the edge of frightening. Essentially what Harper has said is there is to be no official talking about fisheries, pollution, kyoto, oceans, ports, international trade, foreign diplomacy, peacekeeping in afghanistan, search and rescue operations, meat inspection, women’s rights, post-secondary education, or countless other topics handled by federal department unless the message can somehow be tied into one of the priorities. Micro-management? Uh, just a little.
Yes, this is definitely something to be concerned about Canada – Harper campaigned on open government, but as one of his first tasks he is doing his best to silence those who actually know what the score is (and let’s not forget the “accountability” he showed by appointing an un-elected man to the senate so he could further appoint him a cabinet minster). “Risk-aversion” or unbelievable hubris? This man needs to step back a little and realize that running a country is not at all like running a 6 week campaign. The longer he silences “official” communication channels, the more he courts those anti-government “leaks” he is so worried about.
Let’s hope this lasts less than two years.
Accepting the Irrevocable
Nature’s way is to say but little;
high winds are made still
with the turn of the tide,
and rarely last all morning,
nor heavy rain, all day.
Therefore, when talking,
remember also
to be silent and still.
He who follows the natural way
is always one with the Tao.
He who is virtuous may experience virtue,
whilst he who loses the natural way
is easily lost himself.
He who is at one with the Tao
is at one with nature,
and virtue always exists for he who has virtue.
To accept the irrevocable
is to let go of desire.
He who does not have trust in others
should not himself be trusted.
(Tao Te Ching verse 23)
Red Cedar 