Red Cedar

Wow. I’ve been really sick this past week and I’m still feeling pretty under the weather though I have been mobile the past couple of days which is more than I can say for Brian who caught the virus while looking after me on the weekend (famous last words – “don’t worry, I never get sick”). Rarely am I this incapacitated (and whiny) from illness, but I suppose I was due for something really nasty since I haven’t been ill this flu season at all.

The worst part about being sick for me is the dive my self-esteem seems to take as a result. I have spent this week not only hacking and sniffling, but hating myself, deriding my work and generally feeling like I’m so behind in my life that I’m a total failure. Body betrayal = complete loser, or something. Another couple days and I’m hoping to shed the negativity along with this persistent (and painful) cough.

On the tail-end of this, I am headed for Ottawa on Saturday which I don’t feel quite up for yet. Never mind the sickness – they are expecting 20-30 cm of snow there tomorrow! And like a good west-coast girl I haven’t got proper winter clothes or boots to withstand the deepfreeze. I suppose it will be lots of inside and taxicabs for me next week!

It’s been ages since I’ve written anything here or elsewhere and I’m itching to get back to it as my energy is returning. Some time on this trip east, I hope, since it will be too cold to go outside when I’m not in meetings.

If you’re wondering where I am, not blogging and all – rest assured I am not dying, but just really sick from a cold and uninspired by most things in life at the moment. The worst part about this sick is that I’ve got two heavy days of meetings tomorrow and Thursday and I just don’t feel up to them even though I’ve been on bed rest already for the past four days! Here’s hoping that tomorrow brings the incremental boost I need in order to be able to do presentations and lead discussion sessions.

On the plus side, for the first time in years I’ve had someone around to take care of me when I’m sick, make me soup and rub my back and tell me that I’m beautiful anyway. If anything can make a cold less miserable it’s that.

Will be blogging again shortly, right after I get the last of this gunk outta me.

I know. So crass. But after my post-return slump last week I find myself feeling a hell of a lot better today which I am chalking up to a Sunday spent in pursuit of nothing more than food, drink and time in bed with my guy. Sure, I’m a tad hungover this morning, and have a mountain of work to tackle, but I can’t stop smiling. It’s that good.

Besides that I spent the weekend reading, going for a walk, and seeing a bad movie in an actual theatre (I Am Legend – it’s awful – the only redeeming feature is envisioning post-apocalypse New York if you’re into that sort of thing. Even Resident Evil Three was more fun to watch than this.) Oh, and there was some tidying of the apartment and laundry in there too.

Really, it just felt right to be home, to have a whole day with Brian, to putter around without any concrete plans or expectations. I have one more weekend like that before being away from home for 10 or 11 days between my next trip to Ottawa and heading over to Victoria for my birthday. As much as I enjoyed my holiday, I am feeling a little over-traveled at the moment and thinking that my recreating in the next several months should be focused a little closer to home in order to get the maximum relaxation benefit.

This week marks the start of a pretty constant schedule for the next four months. It’s work, it’s union, it’s collective bargaining and hell, there is even some social stuff in there as well. I’m starting to think that 2008 looks like it might be a decent year with the way my life is unfolding right now.