Red Cedar
More apocalypse, less angst
A little edgy today.
Okay. I’m officially overwhelmed. Came into work late to find out I was supposed to be at a meeting I thought was tomorrow. Leaving tomorrow for an overnight to Nelson. Having a friend come to stay for the next week. Trying to fit in this and that with the boyfriend. Mother upset because I haven’t emailed her back. The need of people and causes clawing at my inner martyr. Scheduling more and more days away from home. Want to curl up and cry right now for want of sleep and caretaking. Overwhelmed. And it’s my own damned fault so I don’t want to hear about how I just have to learn how to take care of myself. I know that.
The problem is I *want* to do everything. I want to write, and be a good friend, and excel at my job, and be a responsible union leader. I want to be in good physical shape, and a part of my community, and a producing musician, and a fun girlfriend. I want to go camping, and be available to handle grievances. I want to participate in my household garden, and have time for my parents. I want lazy sleep-in Sundays. I want to cook good food and feed people. I want to host parties and arrange social events.
Each of those things comprises some part of who I am and who I want to be. It’s not that any of those above things is a chore in and of itself. But combined, on high speed, my physical being is drained and every joint aches with the desire to just lie down. That’s how I feel today. As if lying down would make me feel so much better.
I know what I need to do though. And in the next few days – despite my trip out of town and friend visit – I am going to sleep in. I am going to make some little space for myself. I am going to enforce some downtime in which I don’t talk to anyone or think about anything. I am going to get my head screwed on straight before going back to Ottawa in 13 days…. Because if I don’t, I know that trouble is looming for me. And despite the fact we all like to look at a car crash – I don’t much like the feeling of being that disaster which one ogles.
Book thoughts.
I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it here before (probably not, though I talked about it for awhile in real life) but coming up on four years of blogging, I have imagined that there might be a book of personal essays somewhere amongst all these posts. You know, take the favourites, rewrite, edit and then self-publish – perhaps including some of my photographs as well.
I thought about this quite seriously last summer, but come fall got busy and pretty much dropped the idea for lack of time and focus. While in Victoria over the weekend, my friend Anna was encouraging me on this subject again (which I appreciate greatly because if it wasn’t for supportive nudging I’d never have any confidence about this). Her suggestion was to choose 30 posts to work with and then go from there.
So rather than talk myself out of it I’m going to start with her suggestion, plus send some additional stuff to my friend Mel who is an editor for a living. But I’m wondering – for those of you who read this – which would you include? Any favourites that stand out for you? I’m curious if there is any opinion on this.
Weekend ritual.
The best of the photos from the weekend ritual are now up on my flickr photostream. Download the largest size of any image to get a print-quality photo. Clicking on the above photo of Ryefield and Cai will take you straight there.
Hurtling on by….
Woah. It’s been a week. And today is turning out to be a day. And it’s all good but I’ve run out of time in which to do a proper piece of writing for this blog (but really, you got two posts yesterday so who’s complaining?)
I am coming off a week of a lot of union activity that has pretty much restored the enjoyment I lost at convention and during the election. This included a grievance hearing, a bargaining meeting and the demonstration last night (not to mention drinks afterwards) – and some ideas for organizing more social stuff in the near future. All week I really have been going one thing to the next – but it hasn’t been overwhelmingly so.
I’m off to Victoria after work and will be away from my computer until Sunday which excites me no end. Even better, when I return from Vic, Brian will be returning from Ottawa and I am definitely looking forward to that. Can you believe it? I missed my guy more on May Day than I did at Christmas. That’s dorky political love for you 🙂
See you all next week!
May Day Remarks.
(what follows are my remarks made at the may day rally)
Greetings (from my union which I will not name here)….. I was thinking this morning about what I wanted to say about the importance of this day – why is May 1st crucial to recognize? And rather than come up with a list of causes we support or government policies we oppose – I was thinking instead about a trip I made to Colombia almost two years ago. And I was remembering some of the trade unionists and campesinos I met with there – people literally engaged in struggles of life and death over land, labour rights, and basic human dignities that many of us take for granted.
As you all know, Colombia has one of the worst human rights records and is the most dangerous country in the world to be a trade unionist. It is a country ruled by a government that has privatized all public services, that supports bands of paramilitary thugs to keep the poor in line, and is ruthless in the murder of all opposition.
It would be too simple to tell ourselves as privileged Canadians that while it’s terrible “down there” we are somehow immune to such conditions. But make no mistake – as evidenced today with economic collapse on the horizon – Colombia is a logical outcome of the lawless capitalism of George Bush and Stephen Harper. Two leaders who are eagerly pursuing Free Trade agreements with Uribe and are forcing their own citizens to swallow undemocratic processes such as the Security Prosperity Partnership. Two governments actively engage din attacking the poor, public services, and workers rights. As our own economic base erodes we can only expect more of such attacks and it is important as working people that we have strategies to resist with.
And so I come back to why May 1st is important? Because today I think about my union friends in Colombia and the tremendous danger they face. Because today we remember all the struggles that brought us here to this place. Because today we can together imagine the world we wish to win – standing shoulder to shoulder with workers around the world in opposition to the anti-human and anti-earth policies of our capitalist politicians.
The struggles of one are the struggles of all. I stand in solidarity for making May Day ours again!
Red Cedar 