I left work in a bad mood yesterday. It’s just been one of those periods of uncertainty (ie: we are awaiting news of layoffs) and everyone is worn a bit thin. On top of that I had some bad interactions as a union rep and I was feeling sour.
But on the way home I decided not to carry it with me, and so I projected something good about what was going to happen next: that I would pick up fabulous groceries for a great dinner (shitake mushrooms, asparagus and tuna steak), and on my way I would run into a neighbour and have a connecting conversation, and then when I got home I would do some more emptying of my space and my mind to get rid of the day’s stress. Just projecting that was enough to get in a better state of mind….
And so I did, in fact, pick up fabulous dinner ingredients, and then I ran into a neighbour who was gardening and we had a great chat for about fifteen minutes, and then I came in the door and greeted the dog as I put the groceries on the counter. All as I had wanted.
And then the phone rang. That wasn’t in my projection.
Brian (who was out taking M. to piano lesson) was calling to tell me that our downstairs tenant gave notice earlier that day. Three days notice in fact. Oh, and he might not actually have his stuff out on the 1st, in fact it’s a little unclear when he is planning to have his things out. But he is leaving on the 1st, with no notice.
I said, “I guess that’s what’s going to happen then,” and I put down the phone, made my lovely dinner, and then emailed a friend who I know is apartment hunting right now.
While cooking (and eating) it was hard not to reflect on the fact that we have been on a week of getting rid of unwanted things in our home, and that my projection included getting home to another evening of emptying out space. And then, as if responding to that, our tenant decided that he was up and going too. Except I don’t think it worked exactly like that, and I believe he’s been planning to move for some weeks and failed to tell us because he is unable to think outside of his own self these days.
Though we will lose a little income towards the mortgage, I am glad with this turn of events, because it does fit with my emotional being at the moment (very much about creating flow and space), and because things with our tenant have been steadly degrading since last summer due to a combination of factors. Most recently, he has refused to speak to either of us in anything other than single syllable noises, which has put me in avoidance of any interactions at all. You can see how that might be tense-making for all three of us, and I hope that wherever he is going, it turns out to be a happier living situation for him too because clearly he is unhappy with us.
In the meantime I have a friend coming to view the suite tonight, and I really hope she takes it because she fits the tenant profile I am looking for. If not, it’s a very easy place to get someone for so I’m not worried about it sitting empty for more than a couple of weeks. I do feel like things in our home are shifting energetically in a positive direction, and at least some of that has to do with our intensive efforts at freeing ourselves from some of our possessions and making more room. It’s just interesting how things come together sometimes – you start one process in motion and suddenly it takes a shape you hadn’t quite expected. A little cosmic perhaps. But whatever is going on, it feels about right.