It’s only Tuesday, but so far this week has not been going well. Without getting into specifics – let’s just say I’m thinking a lot about borderline personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder this morning. And about how there’s very little to be done about such personality types once they thread their way into one’s personal sphere.
I’ve known a few “sociopaths” in my life as most of us have. They comprise 3-4% of the population after all – blending in wherever they can in order to survive. If I believed in the concept of the soul, I would describe these as people who lack them – lack any moral compass, compassion for other people, or regret for their manipulative/destructive behaviour. On another completely unscientific note, I would also argue that you can see it in their eyes. Eyes that simultaneously carry an intensity but lack spark and connection (connecting superficially without connecting emotionally – something I’ve frequently observed in politicians as well).
They are good fakers for awhile when you first meet them – of course, they need acceptance before the manipulation begins – but like all people who wear masks, that outward facing personality slips after awhile. Which might explain why the worst sociopaths tend to move often, or have lifestyles that involve traveling for work or cultural pursuits. Once they stick around for awhile the lies and deceits have a tendency to catch up and undermine whatever it is the individual is trying to attain.
I have a hard time with the pop-psychology of labeling we tend towards in our society – and so in the beginning I tried to reserve judgement and see all sides of this situation unfolding in front of me. But the continuing rages, blaming and lying aimed at people I love have got me back to square one and trying to figure out why. Which is the problem when dealing with personality disorders unfortunately – the unbridgeable gulf between the human emotional range we call normal and the world of the disordered mind. Those of us with empathic responses attempt to understand, while those with personality disorders work to obfuscate and hide.
Unfortunately, I have little control over this situation and find myself just waiting to see what unfolds over the next little while. Perhaps one day I’ll be able to write more candidly about this – but for the time being, any warm thoughts this way are appreciated.