Today is a day for arranging and rearranging as I sort through my complicated schedule and try to fit some of the dropped pieces back into the whole puzzle before they get lost. But also checking in about some travel anxiety and working on some new plans too.
See – for some time now, I’ve been planing an early-April trip to Death Valley to hang out with some US friends; a mighty long drive from Vancouver (2 long days if not more), I figured it would all be worth it if we got to hook up with our peeps and have a few days of hiking and hot springing – I could overcome my driving deep into the US fears, if only those good folks were going to be there.
But as it turns out so much of the time when I try to schedule with these particular people, one of them dropped out for some reason I’m not entirely clear on (though I suspect it was that his partner isn’t much into camping), and the other one is having some life issues that cause me to suspect his fidelity to the trip we had planned. Which perhaps isn’t fair – this casting of doubt – but realistically watching his life from the outside I know if it was *me*, I wouldn’t be able to make a firm commitment to this either.
Given that there is a long drive and desert-motel reservations at stake, not to mention my only chance at a spring holiday, I’ve been going through an internal check-in process for the last week to figure out exactly what I should be doing about this situation. Brian being willing to support whatever wacky direction I think to take us next….. And this morning, I went ahead and booked five days at Breitenbush Hot Springs in Oregon – about 20 hours north of Death Valley. Still totally accessible to my friend(s) should they change heart and decide to join us – but if they can’t? I won’t feel I’ve made a big time sacrifice without the friend-payoff I was hoping for.
Not only that, but this plan feels a lot more like a break to me – three vegetarian meals a day are provided, with hot springs, hiking trails, yoga and meditation classes as part of the bargain. A chance to unwind in the Willamette forest with lots of opportunity for being outside, and a private cabin to retreat to as the cool spring night descends. A little less work than camping, anyhow. Especially if it does just end up being Brian and I.
I had no idea how much this vacation-stress had been weighing on me until this morning when I made our reservation at Breitenbush. Now instead of dreading a long drive and possibly being stood up at the Nevada border – I am excited about my spring holiday again. Though I feel a bit bad about bailing out on the original plan, for my own peace of mind I am going ahead with what feels safest and most possible at the moment. So it’s Breitenbush-bound in April, and a whole lot going on between now and five unconnected days in a little hippy resort down south.