What was left undone.

I hate the shoulda, woulda, coulda line of thinking that pecks away inside of us like a drinking bird from hell. Dipping over and over into the glass of self-confidence. Peck, peck, peck.

A laboured metaphor perhaps – but since the prompt today asks what I should have done in 2010, I will honestly say that the only answer to that for me is – “In 2010 I should have gotten out of debt.” And I say that, not because I have a huge amount of debt (we’re talking under $5000 not counting the mortgage)…. but because I really want to get to a place in my life where I have absolutely *no* debt.

Now, if I had be stricter with myself I coulda (there it is again) had no debt by now. But I wasn’t. I ate out, bought clothes and shoes, and a new (2nd hand) vehicle. Built the studio out back because money came in from the Sunshine Coast house to do so (and then we ran a bit over budget and I went into a little more debt to finish).

So, that’s that. I didn’t pay off my personal debt this year even though it was a goal I had – and that really just comes down to discipline and priorities. Will I pay it off next year? I am knocking it down bit by bit and there should also be some money coming in the form of cashed out severance which I may or may not decide to put towards the Visa and the line of credit. It will depend, of course on other financial considerations – so I’m not committing to anything right now. Just that I will keep paying down incrementally, try to keep my book and clothing purchases to a minimum, and continue towards the eventual goal of debt-free. It’s not feeling super imperative at the moment, I guess – even though I know it makes way more sense financially than paying interest – which is why it’s a woulda, coulda, shoulda and not something I actually got done.

One Comment on “What was left undone.

  1. I’m no fan of shoulda, woulda, coulda, either. And the peck, peck, peck metaphor is so apt for how it feels. There are so many things we shoulda, woulda, coulda. But unless we did, we didn’t. So we can live in regret that we didn’t or we can let it go. Good for you for letting it go.

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