Make, create, build.

I have an awful time of writing when I am on the road. Hotel rooms and a head crammed with travel arrangements just don’t do much for my creative I suppose, but since I’m out here for a whole week, and with some free time in between meetings, It just seems that I should actually try to get something produced for my writing group meeting this weekend. It’s been three months and I haven’t handed a single thing in for critique! That’s just the kind of fall it’s been.

I find myself picking up on a theme I started on back in the spring: poems based on my list of 100 things to live for (up above, if you don’t know what I’m referring to). None of them so far are much good I’m afraid, but that’s the price I pay when I don’t write for several months. It’s not just something I can drop in and out of unfortunately – the whole brain is a muscle thing applies here. Just like it does to writing music or anything else that isn’t entirely technics.

Even worse, I was hanging out on Saturday with some traveling friends, one who writes poetry that I find remarkable (something I don’t say lightly, can I repeat again I am enamoured with Maureen’s poems?) – which leaves me looking at my lumpish poetry and wondering what is the point.

Yes. I know. That’s the wrong direction to go in, but I’m sure you other writers out there know what I mean. And at the same time, having settled into a couple of hours of writing in the last two days, I realize how much I’ve missed this. The meditative part of pushing words around on paper, of coming back each day with a new eye to what needs changing, smoothing, edging out.

At the end of all this – these meetings and conferences – I am free again. At least that’s how I feel right now – this end to things representing the release of time I need in order to pursue the whole rest of my life that is waiting. An illusion I’m afraid, that I will be no more productive after this than I am right now – but at least I know how when I do have the time. Know how to build the routines around that which I prioritize. And right now I feel like my heart is prioritizing even as I remain focused on other things.

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