Pushing myself.


I have been experiencing some sort of writer’s block lately. Can not, don’t feel like, am stumped about…. And it’s not like I don’t have topics in mind, but somehow I just can’t get myself motivated to write them. Perhaps it’s just August. I’m not sure. But I don’t feel any urgency to post these days. Something about the formlessness of late summer – June/July all full of promise, August I often feel too little structure around me and everything becomes lazy.

On the other hand I have managed to keep the stucture of working out, and am currently experiencing another surge in fitness level (meaning, I have been sore the last couple of days). Since I went back to the gym in late June, I’ve been trying to mix it up and as such have been doing a weekly kickboxing class that has been really challenging and fun – so much so that I’ve started researching downtown boxing gyms for the fall. We’ll see. I don’t want to sign myself up unless I’m sure it’s what I want to do for the next year – but I really like the idea of being a buff boxing babe 😉

I’m feeling pretty good about myself bodywise at the moment, eating really well, losing weight, trying new things out at the gym – all sparked by the recent realization that a) I am getting older, b) I have the same crappy genetics as the rest of my family, and c) if I continue to carry extra weight into middle age then I am just setting myself up for high blood pressure, diabetes, and arthritis complications (a la my mother). And while I know that aging is something that happens to everyone and I won’t escape all of it, I’d like to think that living healthier now (particularly the regular exercise part) will give me an extra advantage when I’m sixty-five.

Problem of course is that I’ve been here before – this probably being the fourth or fifth round of rediscovering the gym. Each time the same – a lot of energy starting out that evaporates as I get bored, lazy, or over-committed to other things. It’s a cycle I don’t care to repeat – the motivation does get trickier with each attempt, and I worry that eventually I’ll just move on to “why bother?” So I’ve incorporated a lot of variety into my weeks this summer – walking to work, elliptical trainer, kickboxing classes, the occasional hike, and even some (sorry) attempts at jogging. Now I’m hoping to add some regular strength training and yoga or pilates classes as well. I’ve been doing a bit so far, but nothing regular. Biggest issue with that is finding the time for it all!

Brian has been pretty supportive (and likewise getting more active) so despite the fact the gym often cuts into our time together, he hasn’t been complaining. And as a bonus, he’s often around after work to make dinner when I come home all hungry. So that helps too. I want to be all yay me! but because I know that this can be a thing that comes and goes I’m not going to celebrate too much until I get to a consistent six months. I’m hoping that something like boxing will help with goal-setting and motivation in general. And push-ups – boxing classes will force me to do those exercises I find most terrible.

I’m hoping my writer’s block will recede if I just keep posting regardless of form or content. Apologies to those of you hoping for something a little more interesting!

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