This blog is four years old today. Looking back at old posts recently to pull together book-like material it’s remarkable to me how many things have happened in the last four years of my life. I’ve moved three times, a bunch of my friends went to jail, I’ve had more than one lover, won several minor elections, written a lot, taken photos, made a bunch of music, embarked on numerous road trips and thought a lot of really heavy things that I’ve shared here with all of you.
I started this thing as a way to improve my writing and enforce a regular discipline to it. And while I recognize that most of what I write is not momentous in any way – I have certainly turned out more interesting writing in this space that I would have in its absence. The reality being that I am a terrible journal keeper and always have been. I’m self-conscious about writing to myself. I like to have an audience. And lo! I am of a time where this is so readily available. First from DIY zine culture of which I was an active participant at the age of nineteen, and now of this private/public form of content creation.
Particularly appreciative of the blog this week, I am in the midst of pulling together posts, journal entries and letters related to the green scare into a single chronological document to start working through for an extended essay or a book. What’s surprising to me is how much of a linear narrative is already there despite the fact my posts and journals are very much *in the moment* – as if all I have to do is build the context around them, edit out some of the more melodramatic moments and perhaps have something already mostly written. Up until now I have been trying to write a green scare essay from scratch (to no success, I’ve abandoned several attempts at the 3000 word mark) – but upon the advice of an editor-friend I am building up the pieces already there instead. A much more logical process, and one that makes me infinitely glad I’ve been writing all along, capturing my thoughts and prayers throughout rather than having to play a game of recall now that I would surely lose (I have a terrible memory for detail which is another good reason for writing continuously).
We’ll see what comes of that, but in the interim I am more than grateful for my small but loyal audience of readers who have encouraged me through these last four years. If I thought I was only talking to myself I probably wouldn’t do it at all – so thanks to you all for your attentions!