It all just feels so up in the air right now – work, living arrangements, relationship, the future of the planet – like anything could happen and it probably won’t go smoothly once it starts happening. The mechanics of what could or should or might be lurch into action, as I seek a way out of everything I have built. And yet, my life is the same day-in, day-out as always – waiting for Darren to call, grinding down statistics for my project plan at work, sporadically launching into self-hating internal chatter. Bleah – is it too much or too little? Clearly the monkey is at work in my mind these past few days and I can’t seem to get any rest from it. It’s got me down, despite the fact I had a good weekend.
(And I did have a good weekend – lovely wedding of cora and ron, playing music, having a bit of a rest…. what the hell is wrong with me?)