Red Cedar
More apocalypse, less angst
fireworks and cops
last night i was invited to go the fireworks on the boat of a friend of mine. this particular friend has been going through some hard times lately and although he owns almost nothing, he does have a 15 foot boat which he has done quite a lot of work on over the last year.
as any vancouverite knows, seeing the fireworks from the shore is a major hassle as tens of thousands of people throng the streets during the symphony of fire. i have never once attended these fireworks because of the headaches associated with having that many people mass in one place, but the idea of going out on a boat was really very appealing. although there are a number of boats that do go out, it is still a relatively small number – and from the water the exploding light is almost directly overhead.
so my friend and i – with two other friends of his – set off in the evening from science world and with the little boat, made our way through the scores of large boats belonging to much wealthier people than us. all was fine as we anchored near the front and settled in to watch the fireworks. after we had been there about 15 minutes, the coast guard came by and asked us to move as a number of boats, including ours, was blocking the emergency lane for coast guard vessels.
no problem, of course – we set out again and piloted around some other boats, looking for a place to anchor – until we were stopped by a police boat. argh – the vpd – on the water!
where do i start?
after a 4-day hiatus in the woods, i am sitting down at the machine to try to encapsulate the last few days. honestly, i don’t know what to start with.
from friday to monday i travelled into the back country of manning park with 5 friends (steph, rob, thi, nathan and autumn – hooray for them, good travelling companions all). we did the heather trail which winds 21 km (each way) through alpine meadows and over mountain ridges to inviting lake nicomen which reflects the surrounding mountains as if a mirror. the four days of hiking, sunning, swimming, eating, and general frollicking in the meadows were a much needed break from the days of toil spent here in my government-issued cubicle, and i am loathe to be back in civilization caressed only by the memory of the inner critter freed for a moment.
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tomorrow i leave for a four-day excursion into the back-country of manning park, and not a minute too soon!
ran into a friend from victoria who is over here for a course and we arranged lunch for today – which was fine except she is one of those people from my past who i really don’t what kindof a connection i have with anymore – i can’t even explain why that is, because we get along just fine – but there’s always something underlying that feels a bit disconnected the few times i do see her.
in any case, she told me that steve mitchell has got out of prison this week, he’s in a halfway house in victoria now. i suppose that explains the dream on tuesday night – more prophesy. i think it will be fine – i just need some time to let it absorb and then i’ll file it with all the other weirdness.
eviction
got home tonight to a notice posted on my door.
its’ official – i’m evicted. collect $1100 do not pass go.
huzzah.
poor me
having a day that’s tilted me in the wrong direction – after all these good days of lightness – i guess i need it to balance me back over or something.
i dreamed last night about steve m. getting out of prison – how i went there to see him, and see if he had changed – and when i went to touch his arm, i knew he hadn’t made any progress at all, like an electric shock went through me – later in the dream hunted by him, there was no horror – only fear of being caught. i woke up tired this morning from running all night in my sleep, tension in my limbs as though holding myself away from danger. i realized this morning the need to find out his release date so i can work towards it without the irrational fear that he’s somehow going to show up on my doorstep.
on my way to work, there was a car accident in front of me at the corner where i take the bus – no one was hurt, two minivans collided at a moderate speed, but it sent my nervous system into a frenzy in any case, it being so early in the morning and all.
this was on top of the phone call with my mom last night who is back on anti-depressant medication, and another call from my friend d. (who has been in jail for the past 8 years) who is having trouble dealing with emotional welling and self-forgiveness.
and one of my strike co-ordinators quit yesterday and won’t provide a reason, and work is crazy, and i have to go to a union event tonight after work and lobby mps (which i hate doing).
today i’m feeling a bit of the “poor-me” syndrome, and though i’m not in any real emotional duress, i would like to crawl under my desk and hide from the world at the moment.
someone commented to me recently that i come across as cynical in some of my writing – i don’t think it’s so much that i’m cynical but i just get tired, and to the point where i feel like i’ve really had to deal with enough…..
of course, all this is making me really look forward to my hiking trip this weekend! a remedy is in sight!
Red Cedar 