Red Cedar

the kronos quartet plays phillip glass, released august 05.

i don’t know what it is about the music of phillip glass that makes me feel so heartwrenchingly melancholy. when bob everton died last december, i drove around in my car aimlessly a lot with glass on the stereo – the patterned nature of the music, with the occasional minor-key melodies, seemed to speak a story about life’s growth and decay.

it’s the same feeling i get standing on top of an alpine ridge looking at a vista of ancient mountains and skies – heartbroken by the beauty, small in the bigness and young in the timelessness of the landscape.

very few musics do this to me, and despite the intensity of it, i’m glad for those that do.

i’ve been invited to a thanksgiving dinner here on the coast tonight. this is my contribution: a bottle of good red wine, a loaf of fresh baked bread (a little crusty, but still tasty), and a cranberry, orange, walnut tart.

i’ve been pretty much cut-off from the internet all day owing to a firewall crash at work – in fact our access just came back 15 minutes ago. i don’t want to go all cliche about internet withdrawal – but it’s been an annoying work day without access to the rest of the world (and yes, that’s what it feels like). i did end up using the telephone an awful lot today which helped to ameliorate some of the sense of disconnect. besides that, i managed to pare my inbox down from 1100 messages to 45 which are all action items…. and recycle all the endless bits of paper from my desk – so huzzah, life is a little tidier at the moment.

the fall-rains have truly come – the last few days overcast and even a dusting of snow on the higher peaks around howe sound – we are barreling into winter it seems, and even though fall is my favourite season, i am barely able to acknowledge the end of summer. i’m in the right mode though for rain, reading endlessly and with a good wool coat and umbrella – my habits are right in line with the weather.

i bought two garden books yesterday at the united way used booksale at work (both from the 80s, but only two dollars each), and so am also thinking to plan my garden and some build some planter boxes for my deck over the winter. with the hearth and burning-can, and the greens i have already been planting, i have much greater visions for that deck space which is a great hang-out in good weather. i suppose i will need a small power saw since i already have a drill and hammers and such – and i should probably keep my eye out for waste wood of varying sizes.

i feel like a bit of a different person lately – i bought new clothes and my hair is longer – people have stopped recognizing me a lot. it’s a bit strange and i’m not sure why i’m making these changes in the first place… they just keep happening one after another. first i thought i would not cut my hair for awhile, then i decided i needed to start swimming every day, and then i bought a bunch of new work clothes (which i haven’t done for a couple of years) – but it’s not like i’m thinking about changing myself, i’m just doing it by my actions. all of which makes me realize that my *self* isn’t really anything to do with my hair or my dress or my exercise habits – which of course – duh – but it’s good to recognize as things about my physicality do change. it’s a bit curious for me – that’s all – i’m interested to find out where i’m going with all this.