Red Cedar

• Items picked up during the last minue drugstore run before leaving town – 4 (one box of hair dye and three pairs of tights).
• List of places I need to change my address upon moving – 13.
• The last four digits of my new phone number – 4674 (spells nothing).
• Albums in heavy rotation on my Ipod over the past week – 2 (Metric, Old World Underground and Rasputina, Frustration Plantation).
• Upcoming days in travel status – 6.
• Days until I move – 11.
• New grievances that hit my desk today – 2.
• Phone calls from Darren since Thursday – 4.
• Amount of my house which is packed and ready for moving – 1/2.
• Number of boxes of books – 15.
• People at Sunday night’s dinner party in honour of a friend’s 40th birthday – 6 adults, 2 children.
• Separate menu items planned for the dinner – 11.
• People in my life who have birthdays within the next week – 5.
• Things I am truly looking forward to during this Ottawa trip – 1 (Anna!)
• Mornings of commuting left – 3 (sweet mercy….).

Found a place to live just off Commercial Drive (Salsbury and William). A little two bedroom, a little too pricey – but very very nice – a place y’all could imagine me living in given my reputation for high standards in housing. As long as I can line up a mover – I’m planning a move date of November 26th. One thing off my mind at least!

http://www.globalorgasm.org/

I’ve been reminded lately how alike apartment hunting and internet dating are: unpleasant, nerve-wracking, and full of the potential for rejection (not to mention the actual rejection). You get all dressed up and put on your best smile, only to find out that there’s someone sexier, and with better references already handing over the first month’s rent before you even knock on the door.

Why I have decided to engage in mindless internet-dating at the same time I am also apartment hunting is beyond me. Apparently I really needed to punish myself for my burgeoning workaholism….. which is another thing making me a bit panicky at the moment. Ack!

But really, I’m fine.. and a few drinks tonight should help me knock the stress down a level or two (oh no! am I also fostering a problem with alcohol!?). Over-diagnosing, active neurosing… Am I ever glad Friday is here….

All kidding aside – I didn’t get the place on Charles, but I have four places to look at between tonight and tomorrow afternoon. Plus, meeting up for dinner/drinks with friends which seems like something I’m in need of at the moment. Send good house-hunting energy my way friends! My goal is get myself housed by the end of this weekend.

This morning, some of my friends over at Tribe have posted their reflections on a Samhain ritual they attended last night – which touched me in a particular way, only because I’ve been thinking about my own need for some ritual in my life in relation to the quickly approaching December 7th anniversary (followed shortly afterwards by the 2nd anniversary of Bob Everton’s death which is December 17th… wow – what a month).

For those of you who have joined this blog late in the game – one year ago, December 7th, the lives of many US and Canadian activists were ripped apart by the FBI in a wave of arrests now known as the “Green Scare”. Several of those people were/are friends of mine, and the past year of supporting Darren has been a ride of emotional intensity unmatched at any other point in my life. I have learned an incredible amount about myself and others in that time – had many doubts about the movement reinforced – and now mostly feel that I am moving into a better place as a result. (that is – most days I feel that, there are still days of wondering whether I will ever get to leave this behind….)

In any event – I have been feeling very strongly that I don’t want to spend December 7th alone, but I’m not sure exactly what to do with that impulse. It doesn’t feel like the right time to do ritual because so much of the situation is left hanging… But I would like to have some kindof gathering – even just in an east-end bar where people who are in some way connected to this situation could get together for a pint or two. Perhaps this is a bad idea? I’m wondering if any of you local people out there have an opinion about this…. Or does someone want to offer up their home? Or are there other ideas?

I know if I don’t plan something, I’ll end up alone on December 7th – and I’m sure that’s not a place I want to be with this.