Red Cedar

Somehow I managed to delete my post from yesterday while dealing with spam comments this morning. First day back in the office and I admit, I’m a tad out of it. For those of you looking for the photos – check out the Death Valley set on Flickr which contains the 75 photos I took while away that best reflect the trip in one way or another.

And now I am not sure what to write about the whole thing. You know without just saying, “the trip was good, I saw lots and had good visits with friends. etc etc.” I wrote nothing when I was away (which often happens when camping) and I am not quite grounded yet for writing much more than this (not to mention that I have mountains of work to attend to).

So it goes.

I haven’t been blogging these last couple of days, just not inspired at the moment by myself – feeling a bit unfocused. But tomorrow I am going for 10 days and I’m pretty sure I’ll return with something to say.

I’ve got two new camera filters – a polarizer and an infrared…. so I promise weird pictures at least.

Will see you when I return to the keyboard. Not likely until after the 13th.

I wake up after too-little sleep, snuggled into my warm bed with its quilts and pillows, and settle into a book brought to me in courtship. This is the new year… and although I’m tired, I am satisfied in this moment of abundance. To lose oneself in Istanbul writ on a page, while awaiting the lover who will soon come through the door is to feed romantic inclination on a number of levels. An opulence of imagination and desire soon met at the sound of the front door being opened and closed. The cool outside air puffs down the hallway, followed by the sound of footsteps coming towards my bedroom door.

It’s quiet here at work this morning though I find myself busy anyway – tying up loose ends, finalizing a report, sending emails for meetings in the new year… I’ve got a calendar with bookings until the end of April and a series of presentations to get ready for when I return from California. As much as I can drag my feet, work soothes me in its requirement for my attention. An occupying force of sorts, it helps crowd out the chatter that might otherwise rule me.

I’m finding myself a bit melancholy at the close of this year – tired, I think, of the holidays – and looking forward to my actual holiday in the desert which I leave for Friday. This would be *real* time off: without family and gift-buying and potlucks to make dishes for…. Just me and Aaron carried by ribbons of concrete into the sandy wash stretching from the four corners all the way through Mexico. Death Valley, the Mojave… Places I’ve not been before.

Every time I engage with the US desertlands I am reflective of Edward Abbey’s work, his love of the desert, his Monkeywrench Gang created to protect it. The heroism, the hardship, the sharp draw of arid land into the lungs and eyes. Unlike the rainforest offer of hemmed-in protection, the desert throws itself open to extremes – wide open spaces ending in slot canyons, parched floors alveolated by geothermal bubbling, valleys excavated by ancient oceans. As though you stand within the rise and fall of each past and present geological period – with the freedom to move between them. The escape from time and civilization is offered to us here, and as Abbey wrote in Desert Solitaire: “We need the possibility of escape as surely as we need hope.” And there it is, stretching out before us endlessly – a sand sea upon which to float our dreams of dismantling the grey towers which dominate, to sink the wrenches with which we have loosened the machinery, to untie the tethers which hold back our fantasies from realization.

Less floridly, Abbey writes these words:

Strolling on, it seems to me that the strangeness and wonder of existence are emphasized here, in the desert, by the comparative sparsity of the flora and fauna: life not crowded upon life as in other places but scattered abroad in spareness and simplicity, with a generous gift of space for each herb and bush and tree, each stem of grass, so that the living organism stands out bold and brave and vivid against the lifeless sand and barren rock. The extreme clarity of the desert light is equaled by the extreme individuation of desert life-forms. Love flowers best in openness and freedom.

Another few days, and I will be out of this tower of glass and into one of the most precious of the wildspaces left in North America. A brief journey, but one needed to remind myself of what is most important to my heart.. and probably a much better way to quell the chatter than working more hours.

Life in 2007 was pretty damned interesting, and I daresay a little less stressful than 2006. The most notable events (in no particular order) were:

• Winning a spot on the national bargaining team for my union.
• Taking a trip to Anza Borego and the Salton Sea.
• Traveling to Eugene for Darren and Chelsea’s hearings.
• Experiencing a car break down and a car fire during said trip to Eugene and back.
• Taking a ton of trips to Ottawa, and around BC for union and work.
• Getting a new job with a whole new set of responsibilities.
• Getting re-elected to several union positions.
• Visiting a federal correctional institution in the US for the first time.
• Going to Wild Earth.
• Taking a number of photographs I am really pleased with.
• Meeting Michael who tinkered with my world view.
• Having a one month period of depression that was really intense – but working my way out of it just the same.
• Talking to lots of lawyers.
• Attending many parties at Kyla’s.
• Throwing a baby shower for Anna and celebrating Cai’s birth.
• Talking to Chelsea by phone for the first time since she was arrested in 2005. Meeting her family.
• Winning a contest for a poem.
• Writing a lot and realizing I can call myself a writer now.
• Reconnecting with a bunch of people Facebook.
• Dating a schwack of people.
• Meeting Brian and no longer dating a schwack of people (just one who makes me happy – much easier).

All in all I’m damned grateful for all my experiences this year… Almost 35 and feeling stronger at the end of this year than I did last.