Red Cedar
More apocalypse, less angst
Oh, I'm trying.
Six months ago I was single – this afternoon I’ve got an appointment with a family counselor. How quickly the problem focus changes depending on the context. While it’s true that things between Brian and I are going exceptionally well on most fronts, this relationship is not without some issues – and I’ve decided that rather than being further confused by what to do I would rather talk to a professional-type person who can give me some advice.
Fortunately, my work offers free “solutions-based” counseling which is available in-person or over the phone. Convenient!
Without going into too much detail, I am really just trying to sort through what exactly I can or should expect in a relationship where there is a child and an ex-partner who need to be considered in decision-making. To me, it’s a bit like being single on an airplane – you are always the first one to be moved for the convenience of others. And while I get the practicality of that approach because I can more easily be accomodating, I don’t always want to. And then because I don’t want to, I feel selfish. And somewhat immature. And this combination does little for my overall state of well-being, not to mention triggering a whole bunch of other stuff that has nothing to do with this relationship at all (rejection-anxiety anyone?)
I should mention here that this goes on pretty much in my own head, and that Brian has been more than receptive to discussing and working through this. But I’m afraid that it’s not enough. Which means it’s time to call in the professionals. I think. It’s free anyway, so I’m doing it, and maybe I’ll even get some good advice out of the deal.
The update.
Before I get into the tech post I want to write today (google mobile – woo hoo) – I thought to post a little life update since it’s been awhile and perhaps some of you are interested in where I’ve been. As usual, my trips away mean I don’t blog much – so it feels like forever since I’ve touched base here.
The last couple of weeks have been all union travel: Kelowna-Vernon and then Ottawa back-to-back. Although it felt *so* good to be home this weekend, I’m off again on Friday to visit my folks in Victoria, and have an overnight trip to Nanaimo next week for work. According to my calendar, my travel will be done until late April – but really, until June/July I am *busy* with all manner of things.
I returned home 24-hours early from bargaining sessions in Ottawa, managing to finish up meetings and get a last-minute flight out Thursday night which put me well ahead of the storm that has socked in the city for the last three days. The weekend was spent recuperating and catching up with people who I haven’t seen for ages (Jess and I hadn’t hung out for over two months!) – not to mention getting some quality time with Brian.
And for the record, I am finding this travel more difficult now that I have someone in my life to miss. Which isn’t a complaint so much as an observation – because I wouldn’t change anything about my current set-up. Fortunately he gets it, and we have technology to keep us close even when one or the other is physically far away.
As for the relationship in general – it’s wow – better than I ever could have expected. Brian and I are integrating our lives bit by bit, introducing each other to friends and work colleagues, and working out the family logistics that are a part of both of our situations. After years of figuring that I was just destined for singledom (and not in a bad way – I was in fact okay with it), I am continually amazed at the depth and degree to which I want this particular relationship (as opposed to “a” relationship). I’m in that indescribable phase of the relationship – finding it difficult to express my feelings about things without falling into the trap of bad cliches. So I won’t bother trying and you can fill in the rest. It’s good, and it’s real, and I am so there.
I have very little other news from my life as of late. I’ve been working a lot for the union, which doesn’t make for particularly interesting anecdotes here. Being back at my desk for a few weeks should help get my fingers to the keyboard a bit more often – so there will be more writing and photographs to come. Promise.
Negotiating.
I wish! A Billy Connolly clip that always makes me laugh (with a cute animation).
Reacting to the news.
I want to do a comprehensive update with some ranting about recent world events but I find myself without time this morning before our meetings start here at the bargaining table.
In the meantime:
- I am livid about this.
- Concerned about the timing of this.
- Campaigning against this.
- Hoping for an investigation into this.
and - At least somewhat amused by this.
More later.
Threats to humanity
The other day an article popped into my mailbox that caught my eye – Killer Military Robots Post Latest Threat to Humanity, Experts Say – in which a number of leading experts are sounding the alarm about the new machines with artificial intelligence that are being built to kill. More dangerous than the fact that our governments are building them, apparently, is the possibility that terrorists (or other bad guys) will similarly utilize the technology once the government develops it and then it’s only a matter of time before “suicide bombings” are carried out by machines. Deadly, deadly…. which of course we know innately… I mean, doesn’t anyone remember The Matrix? Talk about a parable against creating robot wars.
Anyhow, since this is the “latest” threat to humanity, I thought to do a quick Google search to determine what are considered other “credible” threats to humanity at the moment. (Credible is in quotations because what is credible to one group of crackpots is not necessarily sound to another). So the list is ordered by where terms positioned in the search – it surprises me somehow that Bird Flu came up before Climate Change – but there you have it.
- Bird Flu
- Climate Change
- Nuclear Arms Race
- America’s Ignorance
- Terror
- The War on Terror
- Threats to soil and water
- Culture
- The Y-Chromosome
- Global Warming
- Weapons of Mass Destruction
- Humanity itself
- Overpopulation
- Resource Depletion
- Sex preselection (by conceiving parents)
- Science/Medicine
- Current economic system
- Islam
- Atheism
- Artificial Intelligence
- Malaria
- Threat of Genocide
- War (general and specific wars)
- HIV/AIDS
- Privatization
- Disordered lifestyles (that would be non-fundamentalist Christian)
- Human-animal Transgenisis and Chimeras
I apologize now to all my neurotic friends out there – I’m sure this list will just give you more apocalyptic visions – but really, better to be prepared than not, yes? You never know when a Chimera might bring you down in a dark alleyway after all.
Red Cedar 