Posted on January 31, 2009 by Megan
(Spoiler Alert: If you plan to read or see Jose Saramago’s Blindness and do not want the ending spoiled for you – do not read this post. I am full of plot spoilers.)
Have you ever noticed when winter sets in that people get a little bit meaner? Back in November, I witnessed the shift between mild and frigid temperatures in an Ottawa neighbourhood where I was boarded at a B&B. Between one and the other was a distinctive change in mood, as though someone had turned up the impatience and pushiness knobs on the social stereo set, and normally placid people were shoving each other out of the way to get into the warmth of the grocery store or onto a bus. A minor hardship really, minus ten, and yet the every-person-for-themselves mentality is the immediate response, at least in the initial days. This response mellows once winter reality settles in, because really, in Canada with radiant-heating and warm baths, the cold is to be got through one way or another. We know eventually it will be spring, and them summer and are comforted back into placidity with that hope.
But while that may be the case, it’s those small cracks that matter when we evaluate the meanness we are capable of, the desperate grasping that rears itself at the first sign of a more difficult mode of survival – and this is precisely where Saramago takes his characters in the book Blindness, though his situation is a tad more extreme than a change in temperature.
Blindness is the tale of a handful of unnamed characters in an unnamed city where everyone has gone blind through some act of contagion that strikes simply by looking into the eyes of one of those so afflicted. Not a dark blindness, it is described as a milky-white so as to plunge each individual into an endless light that impedes their ability to see what is just in front of them. One man, at first stricken while driving his car, then infects his eye-doctor and wife, who then infect two or five more and on it goes until the entire city, (and we surmise) the entire country and world goes slowly and madly blind.
Initially, the government corrals the ill into a former mental-hospital, but refuses to administer any services beyond dropping food at the front door at intervals several times per day. Soldiers monitor the entrance gates and are ordered to shoot anyone who tries to leave the wretched compound. In this initial group so delivered is one small grace – a woman who has not lost her sight but has faked her way into segregation with her husband (the eye doctor) to ensure his survival – though she is very careful not to reveal her sighted status to the other inmates lest she become a slave to them. Which is not to say she does not help them, for she is instrumental in the survival of a small band who she eventually leads from the asylum as conditions deteriorate around them.
I can not overstate the horrific elements of the rapid decivilising which take place over a period of a few short weeks. You only have to imagine the effects of an entire society losing their sight: their ability to run the systems that provide water and heat, drive trucks into the city full of groceries, clean up fallen bodies or blocked sewer lines. But more than that are the loss of social mores out of desperation survival, but also the pervasive sense that if one can’t see, then conversely they can’t be seen. This provides some cloak through which they obscure their basest behaviours. And while not everyone follows this path, it seems that the majority do descend into a meanness that in another life would have been unthinkable. They steal, claw, deny, assault, evade, kill and take over the homes of one another. Or they panic and die as a stupid mob rushing into a basement storeroom after the smell of food. As a reader, I thought many times that if I found myself in such a world the inclination to suicide rather than go on with this uncertain existence, possibly in perpetuity (because no one knows the root or solution to this blind plague), would be a strong pull.
To witness our world, it is not difficult to understand Saramago’s inspiration in examples of both starvation and mob mentalities that have lead to genocides, wars, mass killings, suicides and family murders, or wholescale thefts of lands and resources. The process of de-investment from others begins with an excuse that propels itself into a rapid self-justification of barbaric behaviour, a spell of sorts that once broken exposes those involved to the worst sorts of charges. Within the confines of the madness, all actions become acceptable, but by standing outside as the sighted woman does in Blindness we can see these things for what they inflict on others. And that challenges all of what we would like to believe about ourselves as compassionate, fair, and upright. It’s not simply that “those” people in another place – Rwanda, East Timor, Germany, Israel – are more “primitive” or less developed than “our society” (whichever that may be), but that given particular conditions, the pull to evildoing is strong enough to overcome all the social training and education we may have received. I would hazard to follow that by saying that in places where the social fabric has been torn and re-torn over several generations, the dividing seam is just that much weaker when a disastrous condition returns; this explains how a country like Colombia can have a veritable civil war raging almost unabated since the early 1900s with the exceptional atrocities its forces have produced.
Now, we are in the infancy of an economic collapse plunging nations into bankruptcy and the already-marginalized onto the streets. A combination of both market and environmental forces bringing the spectre of the dustbowl thirties back into public consciousness while countries like China encourage their educated youth to the countryside in order to disperse the possibility of social unrest. And despite the prognostications of quick recovery by some of the talking heads, all indications are pointing to a long road to travel before the global markets have some sense of restoration. A manufactured crisis, yes. A crisis hinged to the failed ideology of unlimited growth, definitely. But a crisis in the order of most people’s lives nevertheless, and one in which certain liberties are already at play among the elite. In countries with right-wing governments (the US until January, Canada) this has recently been pronounced with attacks on unions, cuts in public sector spending, and money being shoveled out of the treasury into the pockets of those who engineered events in the first place. (For a detailed analysis of “disaster capitalism” and the strategy implicit in Harper & Bush’s actions, please see The Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein.)
And on the private level, as desperation increased in late 2008 there was a marked rise in family-based multiple murders. This, at the beginning of things, and expected to be followed up with more of the same as foreclosures and job losses continue to rise. Given the way recessions have gone in the past we don’t have to be particularly imaginative to envision a rise in personal property crimes, the increased internal migration of people seeking work, an abandoning of family and community with the excuse of financial shortfall. A deepening crisis and it’s only a matter of time before some country manages its way out with a little old-fashioned scapegoating a la Germany 1936 (and if you think it can’t happen in this day and age just take a look at recent attacks in Palestine). And while that may seem a long way off, it might not be such a long slide down towards “depopulation, desolation, degeneration, a vast cemetery” as we might think if we don’t choose our alternatives carefully. In 1915, this argument was put forward by Rosa Luxembourg in the Junius Tract, written while she was imprisoned for objecting to World War 1 (which came out of a crisis in European imperialism). It is here she outlines the choices before Europe in the midst of what was truly a barbaric war – barbarism or socialism. Beyond that moment in history, these would forever be the choices, and as long as a callous ideological system existed it would forever experience ruptures of deprivation, plunder and bloodshed.
Which is precisely what I believe Blindness to be about: the choice between one state of being and another inside desperate circumstances. Because as bleak as the book becomes, and as hopeless as the fate of the main characters seems, they are rescued in the last two pages and freed from whatever atrocity you thought might be coming for them. In other words, they live through the hopeless circumstances of a few weeks when many hundreds if not thousands around their city (and probably millions around the world) have died at the hands of barbarism in the form of lawlessness, despair, and stupidity. These characters survive, not as some others will because of hapless luck, but because they discover early on that which keeps their selves intact, assisted at first by the sighted woman but then increasingly on their own. At first a group of isolated strangers, they learn to keep together as a tribe, offer emotional and physical support to one another, and protect themselves and those in the tribe from the violence that is raging in the dispossessed. This group is blessed with a sighted member, but as I mentioned above there is evidence that other small tribal groups without such a blessed individual are in existence, and are aiding in each others’ survival similarly.
Saramago gives us both the poison of human nature and the antidote to it; survival in difficult times succeeding in opposing forms but only one of those which can turn measures of desperation into a sustainable future for the individuals so affected. It is one of many parables we might turn to as the news gets bleaker by the day. Dismantling our compassion and positive humanity might seem the expedient course in ending the misery of economic turmoil. Scapegoating and theft might seem the only course of action when the individual or nation-state is bereft of internal coping mechanisms. But for those who survive through such tactics, the future, once alleviated of present affliction, is a shadowy one without much savour or success. And in many ways we are blind in support of social orders that would perpetuate such solutions. Instead, it’s up to every individual to examine what survival means and act according to the future as well as the present.
Posted on January 30, 2009 by Megan
This is going to be a short one just to say that I am still around and simply not posting because work has been far too busy of late. I have my second installment of “Reading Saramago during the collapse” halfway written and hope to finish it this weekend, and am hoping in general to get some writing done in the next few days.
But I’m really doing quite well, am very focused on my project at work which has become all-consuming as we close down the last two months until deadline (which we’re not going to meet, but we have to be mostly there right?)
Brian’s house of course (in this market and time of year) is sitting unsold and I’m trying not to let it get to me – even planning to move in there if things continue to decline into the summer. There does come a point at which he simply can’t afford to sell and I think we’re pretty clear about what that point is. At the same time I don’t want such an important aspect of our relationship progression be completely at the whims of the marketplace – so if it means moving in to his place for a year until things get better then it’s just what makes the most sense. We’re still hoping it doesn’t come down to that, but the fact I’m feeling okay with it as a possibility is making the whole scenario much easier to deal with.
I’ve been having a lot of symbolic dreams lately about selling houses and overcoming obstacles, and while I don’t believe in dreams as prognostications, it is clear my subconscious is working overtime to calm my psyche down and it’s working (thankfully). I feel really quite clear and resolved at the moment, much more in charge of myself and my work, and really ready to face the next few months of hard work and running about.
More real writing here shortly. I’m excited about where the Saramago post is going.
Posted on January 26, 2009 by Megan
I haven’t been feeling super inspired lately, if you want to know, which is why posting here hasn’t come back the way I hoped it would after the holidays. Something about the fact I’m working long days, Brian’s house hasn’t sold yet, I’m feeling all in limbo and discomfort, and it’s been really freakin cold – the combination really. It’s eating up my confidence at the moment for getting much done beyond the rote and redundant.
Nothing is all that bad, you know how it is when you’re just mildly down. It’s everything and it’s nothing and mostly I feel like I haven’t been getting enough sleep and could use a little time to get my house organized since it’s a bit of a cluttered mess at the moment. These things are both very do-able at the moment, so really it’s not that bad.
I’ll try to get something posted here shortly, it’s not as though I don’t have a thousand and one ideas 😉
Posted on January 23, 2009 by Megan
Each morning
I am waking poetry;
you read my body
with your hands.
Hear the shape of my words
tactile,
deciding
which form I am today.
Sonnet, ballad, free verse, ode?
Bringing me coffee you climb
back into
warmth written
over a night
of dreaming. Reading me
a little longer
you, reluctant to
bookmark me
until day’s end.
Haiku, cento, duma?
If I am foreign in the morning
you can tell right away;
epic in Arabic,
Japanese pastoral.
Unwilling to rise
to the keyboard I am lost
in words
not meaningless to me.
Couplet, cinquain?
But more often
I leave bed to
sit here. Not a poem
now,
writing myself out
instead.
Wishing more than one person
could read me so
I wouldn’t have the
trouble of
transcription.
A found poem frequently,
but
never, ever
concrete.
Posted on January 18, 2009 by Megan
(This was written back in the fall, but I just dug it out now and decided it was worth posting.)
I have an old friend staying at the moment; she came last night in a whirlwind and will probably stay for the next few weeks or so. Talking together about the last year, our lives are very different in most ways. And yet I can still see our outlines: hers, mine, all our other teen girl friends – cut from the same paper doll book. Some of us sharper, some torn off the very page, all clothed in the things we believed made us who we were. This is *who* I am, this pair of striped stockings, these combat boots, this disintegrating leather jacket picked out of a bin at the thrift store. Punk rock or otherwise we came together looking for the camaraderie we lacked in our schools and families for whatever reason. Came together in a city that was small enough to allow us to find each other, yet large enough to provide the venues in which to do so. The bohemian coffee shop, one such place, allowed us to be obnoxious and warm on winter nights as we smoked cigarettes and experimented with the type of coffee drinkers we could be. And we moved like that through the city, to greasy spoons and outdoor gazebos in the park, sat by the sea and wandered through neighbourhoods of old houses. Some of us already living on our own, others wishing we could as we inched through those last years of high school, hating every minute of the normalcy existing there. We were creatures made for freedom. That much feels like the truth – then and now. We weren’t made to be like regular folk.
And today who are we? A union leader, a jewelery designer, a surfer, a train-hopping photographer, an editor, and a lifelong aesthete. These are the ones who come to mind effortlessly, there were of course others and we were as many as a dozen at times on girls nights where we downed bottles of cheap red wine and talked about the boys we were sleeping with, many of them old enough to have rightfully been called men. But we never regarded them that way. Not those early ones. Not until we regarded ourselves as women which took some doing, delayed adolescence being what it is in our generation. Gorgeous girls. Aware completely of our power, yes, on some level and at least for me completely rejecting of it on another. I dressed like a boy and gave it away, couldn’t be bothered with the pretense of trying to get something in return for sex. And in that way we all differed for sure – some of us chaste, looking for romance or boyfriends – others looking merely for someone to pass the evening with. No one formula, no judgment either – though sometimes incredulity at who you might date or sleep with. Much stealing of boyfriends, much cheating, much passing around of men, much bad behaviour. At seventeen does anyone know any better? We lived so much of our lives unsupervised and yet managed to get ourselves to school, to work, and home safely after a night of drunken partying or LSD. At least we knew that much.
So when I see these women now, 20 years on from when I met most of them at the age of fifteen, no matter how different we are in our pursuits and choices of men these days – there is a bond between us forged in adolescence. But more than that I recognize the sameness across our speech and histories. None of us ever did things the easy way; shacking up with men who cheated, stole and used drugs, moving around cities and countries hoping to find some other part of ourselves, getting ourselves in various troubles, seeking always a way to stay who we were and yet grow up. And for the most part, it’s worked. Those experiences giving us all a world-weariness women of our upbringing should not have, we are able to shrug off the insanity of others for something we ourselves have seen in the past. Are able to one-up every hitchhiking horror story with one of our own, can hold court with the mystery of how a gorgeous woman like us could have come from the rough corners we describe. Settling into normalcy feels both like giving something up, and like it’s about time. And these days I reference my past less and less because it is too hard for people to reconcile that grubby, troubled girl with me standing in front of them talking about their economic situation and going on strike.
I’m sure all people live in pieces. This piece of me shown at this time, this piece of me shown at another. But around the fire at Kyla’s place I feel like I am all of me and those women are the only ones who ever get to see it. Although they don’t really see me in my working mode, they imagine it. Not only can they imagine it, they are proud of my accomplishments as I am proud of theirs and can see the whole of their lives spread in front of me. We are lucky to come together often still, most of us having settled close to where we grew up and despite the travel bug in some, there is also the grounding effect of the west coast on all of us who feel safer and comforted with a home base. I look across the firelight and see that each of us embodies some part of each other – there is an intertwining between us I can not imagine being broken.
I have at times wondered what will happen when one of us dies – a nasty thought and one which scares me as much as imagining the death of a biological sister – it’s unthinkable to me that any one of us should not exist. It’s unthinkable to me that we won’t all know each other for the rest of our lives. I mean, we are 35 now, and it’s been twenty years – the goal has got to be another forty at least for each of us. And even that is hard to picture, that we should get old at all.
But should that happen, should we age, it is something we will do together. We have our families, our partners, our children – and rather than interfering in our friendships, those things enrich them as we gather new people and experiences to share in our stories with each other. From fifteen until now we have been telling these stories, each year layered with more of ourselves on display for the others. There is nothing I would keep from this circle. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for them. The truth is always present, no matter how weird and distorted it gets at times. The truth is being fifteen and for all intents homeless, growing up rough and then emerging like crazed butterflies into an adulthood we weren’t quite ready for. The truth is that while these paperdolls all ended up wearing different ensembles, they were still essentially cut from the same paper. A sisterhood no matter how frayed or tattered.