Red Cedar
More apocalypse, less angst
There's a wedding a coming.
If you read this blog (or my facebook page, or talk to me on any kind of a regular basis) you already know that Brian and I have decided to tie the knot in the fall…. but as I’ve just booked a marriage commissioner this morning I figured it was time to let everyone know what the plans exactly are since we are having two different ceremonies.
Two? Why yes. Which is strange to me because we have ended up with two ceremonies because I didn’t want to have a wedding at all. Really, I just thought that eloping would be fine by me except that our families (and my step-daughter specifically) would have been somewhat disappointed had we done that….. But at the same time I couldn’t quite envision doing a big formal family/friends wedding that tried to be all things to all people. Brian said he didn’t care much for getting married, but if we were going to he definitely wanted some type of party to mark the occasion. Neither of us wanted the weddings we had in the past either, which were more formal than either of us had envisioned and involved a lot of stressful lead-up…. So with all that in mind we came up with the following plan.
1) September 26th. Three years exactly to the day we met we will be having our formal cermeony with a marriage commissioner and only our immediate families in attendance (parents, some sibilings, and attached children) which should top out at fifteen people. This service will take place at Point No Point which is a gorgeous little resort on the west coast of Vancouver Island and will be followed by a fire on the beach, and some sort of dinner (either formal or informal). We’ll be staying up there the night before and the night of the 26th in cozy individual cabins with their own fireplaces and hot tubs. The nice thing about Point No Point is that it has a number of luxury features while still feeling really wild and rustic. The dining room is all windows overlooking the wild pacific, the trails down below to the beach are groomed but not maincured, and the food is fabulous and all local. We’re lucky too because normally they say no to weddings but ours is so small and informal that the owners agreed it would be okay for ours.
2) October 23rd. This is the second phase of the wedding – the community ceremony! Which is going to be held in Vancouver at our home and be an informal party-style affair. Potluck appetizers and drinks, cake by our good friend Jill. Ceremony officiated by a good friend of ours who is coming from the states to do so. It’s going to be grand! And by then we should have the backyard studio completed with hot tub for those of you from out of town to stay and luxuriate in. This is really about bringing our immediate community together to witness and support our vows as we believe that the whole purpose of marriage is asking those closest to us to help us in creating a happy and everlasting relationship… So we’ll get that out of the way before the drinking commences 🙂 I will be emailing or mailing invites to this event at some point, though we’re keeping the guest list on this fairly fluid as it’s not a formal affair and we aren’t preparing a ton of food for it etc.
Luckily there’s not a ton of planning for either needed except stitching up the details and buying a dress (or dresses) which of course will not be big poofy white things, but rather decent outfits I could wear on other occassions. Even a small informal affair, however, does require some planning…. And while we’ve still got things to sort out before the fall, we’ve got lots of time to do it in.
I want to jump up and down on a stage again.
It has just occurred to me that while I frequently ask myself “what’s the point” with keeping on writing, I never – ever – once asked myself that question as a performing musician. I mean, there were times when I found it a bit of a drag… tiring, too much in addition to my regular job, creatively taxing or stressful…. but the audience always made it clear to me that they were the point, and you could always tell whether you were hitting the mark or not. Writing isn’t like that. It’s solitary and goes on without a lot of feedback a great deal of the time which makes it a much harder internal slog. It’s not like I get to sit down and jam on a poem or a particularly nifty piece of prose with other writers, or cause an audience frenzy with a poignant memoir reading… And while the slam movement serves as somewhat of a bridge between performance and writing (strong on the performance often weak on the writing), it’s really not my style. I’m just not bombastic enough, or something.
But perhaps I need to be. Because I do note a certain lack of performance options in my life and I *miss* it these days. It’s either music or readings or some combination of both….. but I’m not sure what that means creatively or where I’m going to find the time for one more thing.
A little vent.
All this detoxing (six days worth now) is making me anxious. Anxious about what the government is going to do in the spring, the banning of books on airplanes, the possible death of print, the coming Olympics, the seemingly downward spiral of our society. It’s awhirring I tell ya! But I just keep reminding myself that it’s *always* this bad, just that sometimes it feels worse than other times because of whatever is going on in the echo chambers of myself. And myself right now is drying out and looking for any excuse to imbibe – the more anxiety the better as far as addictions go right? Because then we feed them like the parasites they are.
Not that I’m giving up some monumental habit or anything – but even a lowgrade thing like smoking one cigarette a day or having a glass of wine takes its due when you cut it out. Those little things really *do* blunt the full force impact of the nuttiness of humanity, particularly when you’ve had at least a mild crutch in your life for as long as I have…. I think I might have to leave early today and hit the gym or go for a walk.
I have managed to start writing again at least, but it feels like a major chore at the moment, all grinding and no fun. I know it’s my own fault for taking a break in the first place, but the prospect of finishing this first draft is seeming distant at the moment even as I refuse to give up writing it. I know if I start on anything else I’ll have lost it and so I’m holding the opportunity for new work away from myself as a reward for finishing at least one draft of this damned novel. That is – with the exception of the poem I started before xmas which is almost done for the moment. I sortof just pick at it a little every other day. One word here moved there – that sort of thing. It’s not like the novel, so therefore it’s allowed.
I’m hoping that after another six days this will have all calmed back down inside of me and I can just go back to seething calmly about the Conservatives, the collapse and the uselessness of being vindicated when it’s all too late to change things back. Surely that will be better. I think I need to go and throw some rocks now. Damn.
New year, same government.
Nitpicky work thing: I *hate* the sound of tape-guns like some people hate the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard. Right now, the unit next to ours is in the process of moving and all day it’s been scrip scrip scrip as they put together boxes and seal them up and I’m going mental from it. Even my headphones turned all the way up don’t completely drown it out!
So hooray for being back at work after sixteen days in a row of holiday. That’s almost some kind of record for me and I’ve arrived just in time for a blistering attack on public service pensions by the “Man” himself making me wonder if it really is time to go out and find some other kind of work. Seriously, it’s hard to remain positive when one of the only saving factors about work (being able to retire one day on a reasonable sum of money) is in danger of being taken away. You know, deficits and debts and all that. Somehow we’ve got to pay and pay again, which makes it hard to get anything done in between all the frustration shrieking around these grey cubicles.
You know, simply proroguing parliament forever would save a lot of money too, in addition to removing the headache of democracy.
But I digress. It’s a new year and I’ve got lots of resolutions besides seeing the end of the Conservatives ahead of me – not that they are anything original – lose weight, exercise more, stop biting my nails, etc. etc. Who doesn’t feel unattractive at this time of year? Fortunately I’m still blissed out on the home front so not nearly as depressed as I normally get pre-and-post-xmas holiday. We really did have a lovely time despite the stressful run-up to it all, saw many friends, hosted a small new year’s affair with lots of food and drink and went for lots of walks during our time in Victoria which was sunny and bright the whole time. Oh, and I read a lot of books too which was a goal of mine, particularly since I have a large to-read pile at the moment which was only added to on Christmas morning!
I’m feeling pretty optimistic about my year coming up, despite the oncoming Olympics and the crappiness of both provincial and federal governments – trying to ignore the bad stuff and focus instead on some fun new plans including: our fabulous garden & studio/spa project for the backyard, a monthly dinner collective involving rotating dinner parties with a few friends, at least one kayaking trip this summer, and finishing the first and second drafts of my novel. (Okay, the novel plan isn’t nearly as much fun as the other things but it’s got to be done.) Perhaps another trip to Flores Island is also in the cards for July? And I’ve got friends coming to visit soon, I’m going to visit other friends, my birthday is coming up in a few weeks and really it’s all going to be okay isn’t it? I sure hope so. It is a new year after all.
Among the Weeds: The Calendar
Haven’t written in ages – I know. But before I launch into my first real post of the year I wanted to mention this gardening calendar with plant-by dates specific to Vancouver that I’ve just finished creating. Dates for your starts, transplants and direct seeds for many vegetables and herb varieties, plus photographs of luscious veggies and fun garden quotes! Mostly I just put this together to keep track of my own planting schedule, but it is available for purchase at http://www.lulu.com/content/lulustudio-calendar/garden-calendar/8158226 for those so inclined. With shipping it works out to $20 which I think is a little pricey (lulu screws you on the shipping, sorry) but it’s just what print-to-order costs.
Red Cedar 