Red Cedar

So I’m having a bit of a ponder these days about whether to let my hair finally grow out to it’s natural colour – which I believe to be mostly gray, though I’m not entirely sure since I have continuously dyed my hair for most of the past twenty years. The last time I really tried to let it grow out was about eleven year ago and at that time the grey was not established enough to look good – so I gave it up after a few months and went back to the dye box.

I’ve been going grey steadily since the age of eighteen which is not unheard of in my family (my mother’s maiden name – Whitehead – has always made me wonder since we aren’t a blonde family – were my ancestors premature grayers too?). I have an aunt who was entirely white by the time she hit thirty (and has never dyed her hair), and many relatives who had shocks of white or gray in their hair early in their life – so I know it’s all genetics and not because of some bad lifestyle choice I’ve made at least.

But no matter the cause, prematurely gray hair results in the same consternation for most women, particularly if it strikes in the twenties or thirties (I do not consider going gray at 50 premature as many of the writers on this subject out there seem to). Dyeing has become a ubiquitous part of the beauty regimen for most women, whether it’s just a few strands that have turned traitor or most of the hair has turned shock-white – and it’s no wonder for those of us attempting to hold on to our youth, the pretense of fertility, the privileges that come with being young in our society. To go gray is to get perceptibly older, no matter what the real physical age or health is, and we worry about what that might mean for us in all areas of our lives – relationships, work, sexuality. Such is the primacy that looks play in our society.

I’m sick of it though. The dye boxes, the toxicity, the plastic gloves, the never-ending touchups. Grey hair being more resistant to colour means even more processes for it to take, more plastic tubes being thrown in the garbage, shorter times between dyes. Not to mention that every time we colour we are in denial about who we truly are, what we look like for real. We are accepting the beauty myth every four-to-six weeks as we paint in the roots again and again. A painstaking chore if you ask me. And for what?

So I’ve been researching – which is what I always do when I’m serious about making a decision about something – and it turns out there is a whole website devoted to going gray, maintaining gray hair, and sharing the stories of women who are prematurely gray like me! Turns out it’s a bit of a process if I don’t want to go through hacking my hair right down to the scalp and I could choose to dye or streak my hair lighter first, go with lowlights, or just learn some new styling techniques to hide the line as it advances from the half-inch skunk stripe it is right now down through the rest of my hair. Going gray, apparently, requires some planning. (And I do love to plan)

Because my hair is so long right now, I do think I’m going to have to cut it at least to shoulder length if I’m to get this over with in a reasonable amount of time. My hair does grow quite fast so that’s on my side, but even so I’m sure there are going to be weeks of bad hair days in the process. Fortunately, I’ve got myself a real live salon consultation with a friend from high school next week (owner of Rain Salon) and I’m going to lay it all out for him and see if he can help me. I’ve never really felt the need for a hair “expert” before, but since I’m making this decision I’m feeling like I could use a little help with the process – mostly just keeping an attractive cut and all while the hair is doing its growing out thing I think will help alot (I’m thinking of the cut on this page – photo on the right).

As I write this I’m getting excited with the prospect of being liberated from this particular beauty regimen, something which excited me in my teens (a new colour every week!) that I’ve just grown to hate in my adult years. Not only that, I think it’s time for a new look anyhow and I suspect that if I let my hair go natural I’ll be more likely to get regular, nice hair cuts and styles rather than just relying on a new dye job to perk it all up. I think I’m there as I finish this post. Done convincing myself. Now I need some help to stay on the course because I’m sure I’ll wimp out the minute this skunk stripe gets to two inches and looks awful. Make sure you say some encouraging words to me along the way okay? Cause I’m doing it. I’m gonna choose my 37th year in which to go gray.