
Walking to work this morning I heard an owl hooting a warning, woodpeckers tapping at the telephone poles, and lots of songbirds. I was glad to have left  my headphones off for a change.
Yesterday I handed in my final paper of the school year and went straight from that small victory to running some errands, cooking a duck, cleaning the kitchen, and finishing up a small bit of painting I started three weeks ago (turning the ironing board door in the kitchen into a magnetic chalkboard).
As promised to myself – I also went to the fabric store, bought the pattern for the swim dress, and then came home and ordered the fabric online. In case you were wondering, the poll was tied for the lotus flowers, the cherries and the seashells. Because I wanted to order from one particular company, I ended up going with the lotus flowers:

The bathing suit will be mainly black, with the lotus flower fabric taking up the center panel front and back. I also bought bra cups and swimmers elastic at the store yesterday. I have to admit, this is no cheap endeavour – the materials have come to about $100. This would be cheaper if I could have sourced bathing suit fabric at Fabric Land but it’s too early in the season – so I went with ordering which made for steep shipping fees.
I started two other sewing projects yesterday as well: a set of linen napkins (like the ones I made for my friend in Brazil), and a simple black rayon shift that I am experimenting with as a base pattern. One thing I love to have in the summer is easy clothes and I’ve been looking for the perfect dress pattern – the one I’m working with right now is just two pieces! Well, plus some facing pieces – but the body is just a front and back piece sewn together at the sides and the shoulders. I’m pretty sure this won’t be super-flattering in the end – it has no shaping – but a simple dress to wear in the garden, or as a cover-up at the beach, etc.
I’ve also got a hankering to make a denim skirt, and to that end I am considering drafting my own pattern. I’d like to make a six panel skirt, with a zip in the back and a rough hem – but with a little swing to it, so not just the straight A-line. Plus, I’ve got some black fabric with machine embroidered flowers that I picked up a couple years ago on sale and I think that’s about to become a summer dress as well.
It seems a little funny to be on such a tear making clothing when I’m also trying to lose some weight – but the nice thing about sewing my own is that I know how things are constructed which means I also know how to take them apart for alteration. And besides, I want to look good now! Which means nice things 🙂

I haven’t really posted my most recent sewing projects here – among which are my favourite two items in rotation at the moment:
1) A skirt made of Liberty fabric, underlined for extra stability, interfaced with denim and featuring a bound denim hem (see picture below for an idea). I hand-sewed the zipper on it, and without a doubt, this is the best zipper I have ever managed into a piece of clothing.
2) The coreopsis dress, also fully underlined and featuring french seams, and top stitching. I omitted the zipper on this one, so it just pulls on over my head and I love it! (Same pattern as the Roses for February dress – I’m also planning on using this pattern for the black with embroidered flowers fabric).
What these items have in common is that 1) I bought higher-quality fabric and 2) I took my time with them in order to get the fit perfect, and use more advanced finishing techniques. And am I ever pleased with the results!

Even with the extra financial and time commitment neither of these items took me more than a week or cost more than $35.
I am looking forward to more of the same over the next few weeks as I get my summer wardrobe sewn up – including the (admittedly expensive) swimdress project!
In March, Canada posted the loss of 54,000 jobs. That’s right folks, 54,000 jobs disappeared in one month, wiping out the gain of 50,000 jobs in February plus some. And it’s not like jobs have been plentiful around here to start with. From what I can tell by canvassing friends in Vancouver – even if you are a worker with skills (IT, Communications, Administrative Management etc) – it can take as long as 18 months to find a job after losing one. And even if you do find a job, it probably pays less than what you made at the last place.
Even though I am employed, I occasionally throw my resume at a posting for which I am qualified (and pays enough, and looks interesting: Â about two jobs per year) – cause why not? And even though I have a sold skills base, a good resume, and consider myself fairly personable by cover letter – I have had a single interview in the last five years. One interview for approximately ten applications. And remember, I am only applying for jobs which I am one hundred per cent qualified to do.
So although I don’t know the frustration of being unemployed (a prospect that freaks me right out) – I am highly conversant with feeling trapped in a single job because there is nothing else out there for me. Â That’s me – with a degree, a ton of professional training, eight years of supervisory and budgeting experience, eighteen years of communications positions under my belt, plus half a master’s degree and a mediation/negotiation certification underway. I can only imagine what it’s like for those fresh out of school, or with a long break in employment due to child-rearing or other life event.
Actually, I really don’t have to imagine because if there’s one thing being around the university again has exposed me to, it’s the life of younger people who are finishing degrees and attempting to get themselves into the world of work. From what I can tell – that’s next to impossible without offering oneself up to the altar of the unpaid intern these days. I have heard more than refrain on this subject: student can’t afford to work unpaid because they are no longer living at home, but no one will give them a job without work experience. Though I can’t verify this, I have also seen comments online indicating that local Co-op opportunities in certain fields are harder to come by than they used to be, since Co-op programs require a student to get paid, and companies (falsely) believe they do not have to pay interns.
On top of that, we’ve seen an explosion in the number of companies and groups (including federal government departments who are in the midst of huge layoffs!) applying to bring Temporary Foreign Workers into the country to address so-called labour shortages. Entry-level positions that newly-minted graduates are no longer available to those who won’t work for cheap or free. Skilled and professional labour is handed out to any company who can find workers willing to work for 15% less than the going Canadian wage. And suddenly the wages fall out of the bottom for everyone. And this doesn’t just impact Canadian workers – but those attempting to immigrate through skilled labour categories are finding that jobs filled with temporary foreign work are closing the skills gap that might otherwise allow them into the country. (TFW are allowed to apply for landed status after being here for a year, but it seems that outsourcing firms like iGate cycle their workers back and forth between countries to ensure they don’t get the chance to immigrate and leave their indentured servitude).
And yes, Stephen Harper made a promise yesterday to review the program – but it was his government who presided over the change last year that allowed companies to pay TFW’s 15% less than Canadian workers – part of what has made that program so very attractive to the 4000 organizations approved under a fast track aspect of the program last year. (Full list download available via the Alberta Federation of Labour). It’s hard to believe that the government had no idea (or intention) the program was being used this way until the Royal Bank  IT worker blew the whistle last week. The government’s response is simply classic crisis management – and I don’t believe we will see any substantial change to the program unless we continue to put pressure on them to do so.
The employment situation in Canada is untenable at the moment, with high unemployment and high-living costs rising simultaneous to a concerted push to drive down wages, and force young people into illegal working conditions. It’s hard to understand why Canadian business even wants to engage in this cycle – which creates only an illusion of profitability. Over time, driving down wages across the board in Canada does little more than cut the consumer base for goods and services, while forcing people on the margins into increasing reliance on government programs (EI, welfare, early pensions). Good wages across professional, skilled and unskilled sectors creates a larger tax base to draw from, the financial security that people need to make large purchases and investments, and overall improved indicators in areas like health, family services, and crime. Driving down wages in the short term may look like a good idea, but over the long run it creates a nation impoverished in more ways than one — Â see America for an example.
And yes, I make no bones about the fact I’m a Keynesian.
Bottom line is that Canadians need to think about 1) whether they want to support a government that is so short-sighted, and cares so little about the well-being of their citizens and b) whether they want to continue supporting businesses engaged in undercutting unions, minimum wage standards and the right to immigrate to Canada with full status (as opposed to this TFW status that makes for the most precarious kind of labour. Personally, I’m looking at that list and I’m going to be culling from the companies I support – including RBC, and letting them know the reasons why. I’m also going to continue keeping my eye on the unpaid “internship” postings in Vancouver and sending notifications into the labour board as they arise. Â This situation for workers is only going to get worse if we don’t do something to stop it.
Some days it seems like so much is going on that I can’t say anything because my tongue gets tied just trying to figure out what’ s the most important, and what doesn’t need talking about at all. That’s a little how I’m feeling this week with a fairly intense workload, a paper to finish, and my new found commitment to exercise and some investigation into whether or not I have a thyroid condition (by which I mean, reading on the Internet).
At the moment I’m feeling a little torn about what to do about my health stuff – and so I’m thinking a three-month person experiment might be all I can do.
Here’s the situation… Â In the last two years, I have:
On all fronts, my medical doctors have been a bit of a wash (other than telling me I didn’t have cancer – that was pretty good). My regular doc keeps sending me away with steroid sprays for the sinus infection and encouraging my daily use of ibuprofen (I couldn’t help it, so painful). My throat specialist told me there is nothing to be done about the nodules but if they become obstructive he will just remove my thyroid (and I will forever be on synthetic thyroid hormone). He also said that because my TSH is normal, my thyroid is functioning fine. The stand-in doc (replacing my doctor on maternity leave) made some rather insulting suggestions about my age and weight loss (like it’s kind of hopeless so the best I can aim for is getting enough activity). And despite all sorts of expensive vitamin supplements, my naturopath wasn’t much help either.
I feel like I’ve had this low-grade health decline going on for about two years, maybe even a bit longer, and it’s making me feel old! (And unattractive and a bit bleak about the future).
But I can only really talk about this now because in the last month I’ve started to take some action and I am positive about the possibility to turn all of the above around.
It started with a talk I went to at my gym where the speaker (a naturopath) told me that I had many symptoms of an under-active thyroid, despite my TSH levels coming back normal. She explained to me that there are other tests – stand-alone blood tests for T3 and T4 that I could get done in addition to the TSH test. Thyroid problems (in particular hypothyroidism) runs strongly on my maternal side, and auto-immune problems run on both sides of my family – so it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if I was developing a thyroid immune-disorder at this point in my life. And I’m a premature grey-er which apparently is linked to hypothyroidism. The nodules aren’t necessarily linked to this condition, but they also don’t know what causes nodules – so I’m willing to believe that a malfunctioning thyroid gland or hormonal reaction is at least part of the reason.
Anyhow. I am increasingly suspicious that even though my TSH levels are in the normal range, my body is in the process of developing hypothyroidsm and I am at risk for having my thyroid removed in any case. This would account for joint stiffness, feeling tired despite good sleeps, memory problems, tendency towards depression, and some aspects of my appearance.
I’ve increased my activity level in the last month as part of my initial feeling of “I’ve got to do something about this,” and since then I’ve been reading nutritional blogs and (more recently) online advice about thyroid conditions because I’m feeling a bit abandoned by traditional medicine. It’s as though crossing the magic line of forty means my health problems no longer matter all that much because this is “just what happens to women in perimenopause.” (My doctor considers all women past forty in perimenopause ).
So I’ve eased into a few things recently and I’m thinking that I’m going to treat the next three months as a bit of an experiment in the following:
My goals are: increased thyroid function, weight loss, cleaner eating, greater fitness and keeping medical intervention in my health to a minimum.Â
Now, I have been off wheat for eleven days and I have so far noticed the following:
I also have less stiffness in my lower back which I think that is actually due to regular Pilates more than anything else.
Now, I have no idea how much of this is psychosomatic or coincidental or what (and frankly, I don’t care, being able to manage my sinuses without pain killers is a blessing no matter what the cause) – but I’m committing to the above plan of action for three months and at the end of that time I’ll tell you how it worked  (if it worked) to kick my body back on track. I’m feeling the momentum right now because of our planned hiking trip in July – which will be some measure of how far I’ve come. Right?
If at the end of three months, no change – I think I’ll have to go back to harassing my doctor about more extensive thyroid testing, or go see this naturopath who specializes in that area. Or some such thing. I’d like to start with fundamental lifestyle changes first. The basics – what I eat, and how much I run around. I’m ready to get put my head up and fact this for the first time in awhile.
I am very close to finishing my semester – in fact I should be working on my term paper right now – and already I’m thinking about summer “projects”. Which things to focus on for the next four months that I’m out of school? Is it going to be working on develping a meditation practice, or a greater emphasis on exercise, or time spent thinking about a project on which I can complete my masters degree, or some combination of all the above? Plus, sewing, gardening, reading for fun, taking holidays and cooking as many new and interesting things as possible.
It’s not like I get a ton of time off work suddenly or anything, but the end of the school term brings with it the lifting of a certain mental weight. The “I should be….” that looms over each semester as I fall behind in my reading or look towards writing the end paper with deep foreboding. As much as I love my decision to return to university last year, it does bring with a certain feeling of time pressure that I remember from leaving things to the last minute during my undergrad 15 years ago. Even though I have much better time management skills now, school produces a particular feeling of anxiety because there is always something one should be doing.
With that in mind I am wondering about how to finish my master’s degree over the next two years. My program allows for one of three ways to finish: coursework (2 classes above the 6 required), a project (not necessarily a thesis), or two extended (30-page) essays. Up until now I have been pretty sure that I wanted to finish on the coursework option, though I have been open to the idea of something else if I go so inspired.
And would you believe that last night I got inspired while drinking gin in our backyard hot tub? Don’t ever doubt, that’s where most of my good ideas come from.
Apocalypse has always been an interesting theme, and one of my goals when I entered the program was to perhaps find ways to tackle that theme through my courses. To some degree I have, though not in any focused sense. And I’ve worried that the whole apocalypse topic has been done to death in academia. But from a conversation with Brian and another friend last night I see another angle that might be interesting to explore. Not only that, I would get to do interviews! And read post-apocalypse fiction (my favourite!) And think and write about some kind of fantasizing that I have strongly identified with at different points of my life.
And! As I told Brian this morning – I could then call myself an Eschatologist (which I know, sounds dirty, right?) which means someone who studies the end of the world (origins are in theology but I don’t think the field only applies to religion any longer).
As I struggle with getting fifteen pages on neuroplasticity out on paper, I do wonder if I really have it in me to write 60 pages. I’m pretty sure the answer to that is yes, but then the question is – do I want to?