My first tea ceremony.

The above photo is of tea cups awaiting the Chinese tea ceremony we participated in on Saturday as part of B’s brother’s marriage celebrations. Each cup received two lotus seeds and two red dates over which the tea is poured before being served to each elder family member by the marrying couple who kneel in front of their guests. The dates and lotus seeds symbolize hope that the couple will be fertile in their union and produce many children early in the marriage. Fortunately, this was B’s younger brother getting married so we were considered elders and thus a part of the tea ceremony ritual.

My understanding is that the tea ceremony is the most important part of the Chinese wedding ritual, and in this case it was the only ceremony we participated in. My brother and sister-in-law were legally married in New York a couple of weeks ago in order that their union would be official at the time of the ceremony without having to organize that part of it in Canada as well (they live in NYC, but both families are in BC). In turn, starting with the groom’s parents and working through all the elder relatives on both sides (grandparents, uncles, aunts, siblings), couples are called up to receive their tea and be formally addressed by the kneeling couple (B and I are 3rd brother and sister). After tea is served, the guests give a red envelope of money (or jewelry) to the person who served the tea. This serves as the marriage gift.

The aspect I most appreciated about the tea ceremony was the moment of intimacy in serving and receiving the newly married couple shares with their elder relatives. The kneeling couple and the seated guests form a very close group which gives a kind of privacy from those watching the ceremony, and the guests have a chance to congratulate or offer blessings to the couple as they receive their tea.

Following the tea ceremony was the 12-course wedding banquet which included sea cucumber, abalone, rock fish, lobster, suckling pig, crispy-skin chicken, and red-bean soup. Although they served small plates of each, everyone was crazy full of amazing food by the end of the night (this was held at Kirin in Richmond). In between courses there were all sorts of games for the adults and children, and at one point the head table (which we were seated at) had to travel around the room and toast all the tables which was a fun little procession.

Suffice to say, we had a lot of fun, and between the Friday night party and everyone coming over for an afternoon hangout yesterday afternoon, our last few days have been wall-to-wall family. I’m pretty exhausted returning to work today, and looking forward now to our wedding which is only a month away!