I want to jump up and down on a stage again.

It has just occurred to me that while I frequently ask myself “what’s the point” with keeping on writing, I never – ever – once asked myself that question as a performing musician. I mean, there were times when I found it a bit of a drag… tiring, too much in addition to my regular job, creatively taxing or stressful…. but the audience always made it clear to me that they were the point, and you could always tell whether you were hitting the mark or not. Writing isn’t like that. It’s solitary and goes on without a lot of feedback a great deal of the time which makes it a much harder internal slog. It’s not like I get to sit down and jam on a poem or a particularly nifty piece of prose with other writers, or cause an audience frenzy with a poignant memoir reading… And while the slam movement serves as somewhat of a bridge between performance and writing (strong on the performance often weak on the writing), it’s really not my style. I’m just not bombastic enough, or something.

But perhaps I need to be. Because I do note a certain lack of performance options in my life and I *miss* it these days. It’s either music or readings or some combination of both….. but I’m not sure what that means creatively or where I’m going to find the time for one more thing.