Getting by.

I haven’t felt much like writing the last few days besides being busy, so here I am updating for the first time in days – and it’s not with a big well-crafted post, but with some of my life bits instead to get myself caught up here.

For those of you not paying attention to the other site – there is a new post on Viaduct for your reading pleasure. I am hoping to work on some non-restaurant-related posts for that site next. As soon as this week is over and I’ve actually got a free evening or day on the schedule. Sheesh! I’m not even reading much these days, that’s how little time I’ve got for myself!

Short story is that it’s been an overwhelming couple of weeks with work and all. Long story is that besides all the stuff I have to do I’ve been having some relationship introspection that isn’t making me feel very good about myself. Lots of jealousy and feeling like I don’t fit into Brian’s family which by definition includes his ex and not me. And even though the divorce stuff is finally happening and she is moving out by the end of summer, I am not feeling there is a legitimate place for me anywhere in this and I wonder if I am foolish for trying.

Of course Brian tells me otherwise. But I just can not shake this feeling that everyone would be better off if I just vacated and let them get on with their lives. For the past eight months or so I’ve been getting that message pretty loud and clear from Brian’s ex and even though she’s shifted somewhat, I am still excluded from my partner’s home so I shouldn’t wonder where these very strong feelings are coming from!

Anyhow. I’m sure it will all pass shortly and I’ll start feeling like a normal person about all this stuff again. In the meantime I’ve got a ton of work and several speaking engagements this week so posting will be spotty.