Reproductive rights and me.

This morning, at 7 am, I attended a breakfast in support of the West Coast Legal Education and Action Foundation with other members of my union. You know, one of those fundraising things involving food and speakers that we get tickets to once and awhile. The food is usually passable, the keynote excellent – you can tell where this movement’s priorities are at (or we could just say it’s more academic than aesthetic and leave it at that).

Anyhow, the speaker this morning was Dr. Sarah Weddington, the woman who fought Roe v. Wade, the case that won abortion rights for women in the US in 1973 (in Canada, abortion rights were secured through the Morgentaler case, also in the same year). A native Texan, she spoke with charm and humour about her role in the case as a brand new lawyer, and how the fight continues for abortion rights in a United States run by a fundamentalist Christian right (she noted, quite rightly, that historically traditional conservatives supported reproductive rights because they don’t believe the government has a right to interfere in the private decisions of individuals). It was an interesting talk and the room was full of people who have fought on legal and political fronts to secure and defend abortion rights in Canada.

It is only on occasion that I see abortion rights speakers these days, but whenever I do – and particularly when pioneers in the movement speak – I feel a fair amount of gratitude. Having grown up post-Morgentaler and Roe v. Wade, the right and ability to access abortion have never been in question to me, and I have exercised that right when necessary at more than one crossroads in my life. (My birth control practice is now foolproof, internal and entirely in my control – again, access to contraceptive choices a right only won around 1960, and essential to the well being and health of women). Hearing women speak about the bad old days before these legal changes, I get almost-teary with a certain relief and realization of how this self-determining right has allowed me to shape the life I have and enjoy now.

And I say this in the context of realizing that more control over these things leaves less up to chance. And chance (or “accident”) is still the reason many children are conceived. It means that women like me, who want to rationalize having children as opposed to just letting them happen, are less likely to experience motherhood at all, having taken chance out of the equation as much as it is possible. My friend Kyla and I have discussed this quite a bit recently, how the ability to choose not to breed often makes it much harder to choose to have a child. Unless it is thrust upon us in a burst of fertilized energy and hormones – we may not logically ever want a child (for all the reasons we know- expense, not the right time, giving up freedom etc) – we may not even be able to feel the need for it in our deepest moments of biological insanity.

Most of my friends who have had children got pregnant without planning – either with partners or without, with partners who left them, with partners who died. And in all cases, the reasons I rationalize to not have children (in the rare occurrences of wanting one of my own) are always overcome in the motions of raising healthy, happy kids. And each of those children are a crystalized surprise in themselves, an explosive joy, and part of their parental’s progress towards their own integral growth. It’s why I’ve learned to get excited when a good friend gets pregnant, whether intentional or not, is that I now see how those chances that blow logic out of the water bring us a magic and new perspective.

So yes, I guess what I’m saying is that I realize there is a tradeoff in these rights – or at least there is for women like me who feel the need to work out every detail before making such a radical lifestyle choice. None of that makes me want to give up my right to reproductive choices. None of that makes me want to discard my IUD and just see what happens. I am so very pleased that I know people who have had fate deliver them from their logic-driven processes, just as I am relieved to be able to make decisions about my life without an extra being to consider right now.