Strangeness, sadness and sanity.

Thank-goddess for the Monday-work-at-home arrangement. After a weekend of visitors, it’s great to be able to catch up on laundry and groceries in between project planning documents and union follow-ups. I’m a bit worn out at the moment, but feeling like besides seeing really great people for the last few days, the Resist! Collective actually had a really productive meeting yesterday and I’ve got a couple new things to work on (including a Computer Security for Activists workshop in October).

If I could just get over the nagging sadness about Greg, then I would be doing great right now, but it’s still on my mind and kindof tainting things a little. *sigh* At least I can tell it’s easing up and i just need a little more time with it.

I’ve been trying to focus on other things though – and spent the last few days also working on a new blog design for a friend which is almost done (I will link it here when we launch the site) – which has inspired me to look at my blog design again and do something a bit fancier. The design for my friend is probably the nicest site design I have done to date and I am pretty damned happy about it. I also ordered myself a 160 gig external hard drive today which has become essential as my hard drive has dwindled down to less than 1 gig of free space and I’ve had to move all sorts of stuff onto cd in the past few months.

Beyond that, I’m in flux-state and trying to orient myself to big-upheaval time. I feel like I’ve got about two weeks until I have to put my nose to it and start the whole decision-making, looking, moving process and I’m trying to get as much rest as possible right now in order to improve my overall resiliency. I think a lot about Victoria, trying to manifest a move there in my head as much as possible – I’m feeling I might be able to make this happen if I just keep at what I’m doing and working all the angles. My problem is a lack of patience. I *hate* waiting for anything once I’ve made up my mind what I want to do. I’m meditating a lot on this right now – Lessons! I’m so tired of all these lessons! When can I be done is really the question……

On a sad and odd note: One of my second-cousins in Oregon was shot on the weekend at point-blank range with a 12-gauge shotgun (the shooter is her age – 21 – and they have known each other since childhood). She is the youngest grandchild of my Aunt Jo. Last year in October my Aunt’s oldest grandchild (my cousin Sarah) hung herself. It’s pretty touch and go at the moment I guess – and I’m just kindof stunned at how much tragedy can befall one family.